London30

So this is the first time I'm admitting that I need help - I need to change.

On the surface, I'm a 30 -something Londoner who holds down a good job. I'm known for 'liking a drink'. But there is so much more to it than that. Yesterday I realised I needed help. I drank 350ml of vodka during the day (I was off from work). I then went round to a friend's for dinner where I had a couple of glasses of wine; sneakily filling my glass up when she was out of the room. On the bus home I drink another mini-bottle of wine & can of vodka-coke as I knew I wouldn't be able to have a drink as my bf was home.

I'm scared by how much I drink on the quiet.

I am trying my first day sober today and already feeling anxious. I have a family dinner tonight and it's going to be a challenge.

Any tips/support for getting through the next few days would be so welcome

Dee74

Hi London - welcome

Tip #1 is stay close to SR. Getting sober is a scary prospect for most of us - but you don't have to do this alone

If you feel more than just fair to middling unwell, its a good idea to check yourself out with your Dr.

Detox is sometimes dangerous for some.

These are some great tips on dealing with cravings:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

do check out our Class of October support thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-thread-4.html

and our Weekender thread as well.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2016-a-2.html

Zanna

Hi London - there are a few of us Brits around the forum -

Treerat66

Hi London.

Welcome to SR.

August252015

Welcome!
Sounds like a great idea to quit drinking.

Today- focus on exactly that. If you feel uncertain - I certainly felt horrible- perhaps don't go to the dinner? Now is the time to keep your expectations and focus on just not drinking- today. It also sounds like the perfect time for AA, which you can find plenty of meetings in London!

You can get and stay sober. You will see many stories similar to yours around here- developing an IRL plan is key and you'll get plenty of ideas for that here, too. Just get started.

Good luck.

HopeSprings

Welcome! I agree, maybe the dinner isn't the best idea. Not forever, of course, but just as you're starting to navigate the waters of sobriety.

HilltownPete

the dinner depends on your relationship with your family (or friends). If they are going to be enablers, or party hardy like you used to be, stay away. If they are compassionate and will be willing to help you, go and tell them up front that you are no longer drinking and want them to help you. you need a support group of the latter, and need to stay away from the former, especially early on.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum London!!

Berrybean

Welcome to the forum.

I think the best advise I had was the old adage that 'nothing changes if nothing changes'. I also needed to accept that some days would be tough, and not necessarily feel wonderful, and that that was okay. At first I thought it was just alcoholic drinking I had to deal with, but I soon realised that there was also the alcoholic THINKING to deal with, if sobriety was ever going to become comfortable and sustainable. That took longer to start addressing, and required a recovery plan, and daily work to maintain it. Not that that's a chore particularly.

Anyway. Welcome. I wish you all the best for your recovery.

saoutchik

It sounds like you are making a wise decision London, stopping before it affects either your job, health or both

tomsteve

Scared about the journey ahead...
welcome!!
fear of the unkown- what life without alcohol would be like- was pretty strong with me early on.
but I had a greater fear that kept me going:
fear of the known-what life WITH alcohol still involved was going to be like.

best tip I can give is
don't drink even if your arse falls off

and keep comin back

EndGameNYC

Is the amount that you're drinking when no one is watching the main or only reason you want to get help? Of are there other things that concern you about your drinking? I haven't yet read all the replies to your OP.

If you're spending a great deal of time hiding your drinking, and if you imagine that no one or few people are aware of the extent of your drinking, then you may also be reluctant to get any kind of help that might "out"you. That would be unfortunate since many of us have found it very difficult to get sober on our own, or by relying on helpful suggestions.

Most people here will tell you that the safest way to start is by undergoing a medically-supervised detox, which only in part depends on how serious you think your problem is. Even so, stopping abruptly or on your own is considered to be dangerous. Tapering seems to be popular in your corner of the world, but it remains controversial as a remedy, and many people have mixed feelings about it.

There's plenty of information here about getting started with sobriety, but it's up to you as to how far you're willing to go in order to get there.

MissPerfumado

Welcome, London! Well done on admitting you have a problem. That's important.

Firstly, if you believe you need help, I urge you to get it. In particular, I urge you to see your GP about stopping. That helped me immensely when I stopped. I was also the girl who "liked a drink". That label fuelled my denial for a long time and allowed me to pretend I didn't have a serious problem. When I went to see my GP, sat in her office and told her EXACTLY how much I drank, the jig was up. That day, I drew the curtain back on my alcoholism and let daylight in. It was scary, but very effective.

SR is for me an unparalleled resource for continued sobriety but l had to fess up to someone in real life to get to sobriety.

Secondly, I had to bring my family into my sobriety because they are big drinkers and they had to know I wasn't going to do that with them any more. I knew they would be supportive though. But perhaps you aren't ready or willing to share that with them. Every family dynamic is different. If this family dinner is going to be a problem, as has been suggested, perhaps you shouldn't go.

Finally, if you are serious about sobriety, make a plan for it. Someone usually posts a great link to how you write one down and it is worth reading. The first time I came onto SR I was like you ... "trying" my first day sober. It lasted 8 days and I wasted another year diving further into alcoholism. When I came back, I was fighting a bigger battle and that time I listened to the folks here and got serious and wrote a plan, roped in my GP etc. Please don't make a similar mistake to me.

Good luck! Once you realise you have a problem with alcohol, you have given yourself the means to solve it!