HelenofTroy

I am officially on day 8. Having said that if I wouldn't have had two glasses of wine with dinner one night last week I would be on day 30. I am not following any particular program like AA, I am just trying to make healthier lifestyle choices.

I "feel" more like a 30 day person than I do an 8 day person, in that my clothes are fitting better (even though the scales don't seem to be moving - what's up with that?!), I've lost my little pot belly, etc. To be frank I don't feel like the idea of 8 days does justice to my accomplishments. So this morning I decided that I will celebrate today in my head as a 30 day celebration. I am calling it 30 days of living a sober lifestyle.

I am probably breaking all kinds of rules but there it is. I realize I don't need anyone's permission to do this, I am just wondering; with all the focus here on consecutive days alcohol-free, does anyone else do this?

Maudcat

Some people invest a lot into how many days sober. It's part of AA's program. I stopped keeping track of days sober on my Ipad after i reached 100. Like you, I feel some flexibility of thought is helpful to keeping sober. So go ahead and count those 30 days, as opposed to 8. Keep at it. Final note: I fully expected to lose weight when I stopped drinking. No more empty, sugary calories, right? I didn't. I didn't lose weight until I followed a limited carbs, high protein eating program some years later. Good luck.

doggonecarl

I don't know if there are rules. But are you being honest with yourself if you ignore the fact that you drank?

Count your sober days....don't count them. What matters is the sobriety. You drank when your intentions were sobriety. Moving forward, how can you ensure you don't drink again.

entropy1964

I think its up to you really. If you are fine with it, why ask here?

For me, if I relapse, slip, have a drink....whatever I wish to call it, I start over. I am an alcoholic. I love to deny my problem, its severity. It is cunning, baffling and powerful. My addiction loves to mess with my head. Brutal honesty is all that works.

More important than a 'slip' is my thinking. My thinking is where both my addiction and my recovery begin. If I were to drink, that would mean, without any doubt, that I am not in complete acceptance that I am an alcoholic. The obsession is alive and well. I am an alcoholic. My disease is always progressing. Drinking is an absolute sign that I am in denial.

HelenofTroy

Thanks Maudcat. I am not looking to lose a lot of weight, in fact I feel pretty good where I am at, so I need to focus on eating healthy (this Costco size bag of chocolate covered almonds is going to be the end of me lol) and moving more.

I appreciate your comments about counting days. I can't help but feel that by eliminating the three weeks from my count makes my progress seem like more of a failure and to be honest makes it seem like what's the point. I do better with positives than I do with negatives. I don't want the rest of my life to be focused on booze (or a lack of) but on living healthy and being the best person physically and mentally that I can be. So for that reason the 30 days makes more sense to me.

Because others here believe in the consecutive days alcohol free I will not put myself as a 30-dayer in my class as that feels fraudulent. But in my real life that's where I'm at.

dwtbd

Being a quitter is what counts.
Congratulations on your decision

HelenofTroy

Doggonecarl and Frickaflip, you both make valid points. I may indeed regret this decision. But I am going to go with this for now. If I find myself really struggling I can go back to my days alcohol free date. And my profile here has the 8 day date, not the 30 day date for accountability.

Darwinia

I agree with you. Two glasses of wine can not eradicate the sober time. well done.

Anna

In my opinion, not drinking and beginning to make lifestyle changes to support your recovery is the most important thing. I know at Day 8, physically I felt better, but my mind was not where I wanted it to be. You only have yourself to answer to.

Maudcat

Relapse is part of recovery. Just keep at it., and don't beat yourself up (if you were inclined to, I mean). I had a glass of wine some 50 days in. All it did was reinforce the fact that I really don't like wine., lol. It's bourbon, particularly, that would do me in, tho I wil not drink any alcohol......today. Peace.

Forward12

Sometimes I think it can get a bit obsessive with every month, day, hours, seconds sober, though every bit of sobriety counts.
I really don't count days anymore as I think it stresses me out more than helps. I just keep going with I'm sober right now, and that's what counts.

CAPTAINZING2000

I've got several days together. The exact number eludes me now.
I don't drink for me and everyone else benefits by this.
That being said, pretty much anyone on this site has a problem of their own or family member or friends.

Perhaps, you're fortunate enough to have an occasion drink without the consequences. Should that be the case and you can limit your drinks and maintain a healthy life style good for you.

As far as, how you count your days, it's nobody's business but your own.

The problem we real alcoholics have is trying to limit our drinking. On occasions, I've had some success at drinking a drink or two. The next time out, I would drink too much .

The important thing is being aware of alcohol being a problem and taking measures to not let the drink interfere from you having a happy life

Anna

I would just like to mention that relapse is not part of recovery. Yes, many of us relapse before we get things worked out. I know I did. But, I think that assuming relapse is part of recovery is kind of giving yourself a green light to relapse. That said, a relapse should motivate you to change your program and move on, and not to give up.

SnazzyDresser

I figure if I'm gonna count, I'm gonna make my counting count by having an accurate count. I can always tell myself additional non-numeric positive things to keep myself motivated and feel good or whatever. I do that too. I wake up and say "You're killing it, Snazzy!"

Algorithm

This time-counting focus is a hold-over from AA, and there are articles about this topic all over the place on addiction forums and news sites. Presumably, it is mostly to help the newcomers, but there is intense debate on this as well, and SMART Recovery officially does not count days, for example.

I eschew this focus, since I consider it a part of addiction itself, essentially counting the days of deprivation between drinks. However, neither would I recommend a casual attitude towards drinking again after previously deciding to abstain. Such a clear reversal of intent is part of addiction, not recovery.

By your own admission, you were a daily, heavy drinker for about 40 years, and there are inherent risks to what is called "moderation" for people with this kind of drinking history. Few can do it, especially without work or other obligations putting on the breaks. More than one has retired and quickly plummeted into the abyss.

That said, any abstinent days are quite obviously good for the body, and the mind. I have no interest in suggesting that your previous days not drinking were not useful, on in suggesting failure on your part.

Fusion

Helen, I had two decades of drinking, alcoholism, daily. Tried everything to stop. The real me, my true self wanted to stop. It was not until I discovered that neuroplasicity had 'aided' me in drinking (the so called dark side - but really it's your brain trying to help you, in a misguided way) that I also discovered that the same neuroplasicity could be utilised to heal my addiction.

In order to do so, I used AVRT, but there are many roads up the mountain. In AVRT, a relapse culture doesn't exist. Yes, it may occur, because you haven't properly achieved the distinction; but if it does, you're straight back up on the horse, head held high and stay there: forever.

I don't count days and you can too, by remaining sober from here on out. Stay quit, this time. Don't let 'relapse culture' drag you down to more drinking, akin to a child's game of snakes and ladders.

We're adults, so be proud of your achievement, own it and forge on forwards. Onwards! .

ScottFromWI

I decided to quit drinking an a particular date and I have not had a sip since. Granted I had several attempts prior to this one that failed. I don't count my days anymore, I did when I first started but after a while I stopped keeping track.

For me personally, even taking one sip of alcohol intentionally would count as a failure of my plan to stay sober. It certainly wouldn't erase my sober time but I would consider myself as "starting over".

But as many have said, the only person you are accountable to is yourself in this respect. If you feel that counting days is detrimental to your sobriety plan, don't do it.

fred59

I go to Smart Recovery and I have only heard a few people me included who mentioned how many days they have sober, ironically it is usually the people who also go to AA.
Smart and LifeRing do not celebrate birthdays or count days, so if your not in AA do not worry about it.

Fusion

Ugh! Anna and Scott put it better than me. I'm a people pleaser at heart and didn't want to upset you. My advice is start being sober again and never stop, don't count days, don't let relapse become an option; the relapse door is a green light so lock it shut.

I've stopped drinking and hand on the heart I have left - if I started again, I'd never stop until I died of it. I'm sorry if my previous post seemed to imply that a relapse was OK. I have zero tolerance to alcohol, because if I don't, I'll surely die of its side effects.

Helen, you CAN do this, if you want to.

Gonnachange

Helen, I don't count days. They don't matter to me; what does matter is that I'm leading a healthy sober lifestyle. At one point I did count and found that by doing so it made me think about alcohol every day as in, "Put another chalk mark up for an alcohol free day." Other than coming to SR, and that's a big "other" I just don't think about alcohol.

No single approach works for everyone; what I do works for me and if counting helps another person, that's just as valid.