Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Uk
Posts: 8
Help
Day 2 of staying sober after more than 10 years of nightly drinking anything from a glass of wine to a half bottle of vodka.Finding it so hard as found out my 14 year old daughter had been self harming on Monday my usual crutch would be alcohol X X.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome, to SR, Feellost!
I used to self-harm and one of the main reasons I did it was because I felt so helpless with my feelings. Drinking over this will only make things worse. Getting sober and well again is a much better way to help your daughter.
You can find a lot of support and information here to help you stay sober; stick around and keep reading and posting.
I used to self-harm and one of the main reasons I did it was because I felt so helpless with my feelings. Drinking over this will only make things worse. Getting sober and well again is a much better way to help your daughter.
You can find a lot of support and information here to help you stay sober; stick around and keep reading and posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Uk
Posts: 8
I'm well aware I self harm with booze that's why I'm trying so hard to stop and to show my daughter I won't give up and start again so hopefully she will see the strength in me and learn to find another way to express her feeling rather than self harm.I was just saying I'm finding it hard but thanks for stating the obvious doggonecarl.
Thank you madbird for your kind support it's hard speaking to friends as I don't want my daughter labelled X X
Thank you madbird for your kind support it's hard speaking to friends as I don't want my daughter labelled X X
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Some people may not be aware that self-harm isn't much different than their own way of medicating with alcohol. For me, they both gave the same kind of relief. Your realizing how hard it is to stay sober can help you see that it will be hard for her to stop her self-harming if she doesn't learn healthier ways to cope.
You are correct in realizing that you can set an example. One way to do that could be by getting help for yourself from people who do understand.
You are correct in realizing that you can set an example. One way to do that could be by getting help for yourself from people who do understand.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome. I hope you find a lot of support here, as I have.
I was a daily drinker for fifteen years, so I know where you're coming from.
I found it advantageous to seek help for myself before I could help anyone else, too.
I went to AA and found a home and a rock of support. I found a lot of help here, too.
Just stopping overnight, unfortunately, wasn't in the cards for me. It took me many attempts, but I never gave up trying so don't be hard on yourself if the miracle doesn't happen overnight.
It can though. And I hope it does for you for both your sake and your daughter's.
Wishing you the best.
I was a daily drinker for fifteen years, so I know where you're coming from.
I found it advantageous to seek help for myself before I could help anyone else, too.
I went to AA and found a home and a rock of support. I found a lot of help here, too.
Just stopping overnight, unfortunately, wasn't in the cards for me. It took me many attempts, but I never gave up trying so don't be hard on yourself if the miracle doesn't happen overnight.
It can though. And I hope it does for you for both your sake and your daughter's.
Wishing you the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Uk
Posts: 8
Think I may be kidding myself that I can stop on my own but I'm more determined after finding out about my daughter on Monday which came out of no where she's an out going intelligent girl and school only made the discovery as she had cut her wrist too deep and her friend panicked thank god for that friend .
I am not sleeping as checking her every hour making sure she's still asleep and as everyone will realise the urge to drink is huge but still it's only day 2 and it doesn't help that my 20 year olds half bottle of Jack Daniels is sat down in the kitchen but I must say I'm quite proud I haven't touched it but it helps that I hate Jack Daniels lol .Thank-you everybody for your kind words X X X
I am not sleeping as checking her every hour making sure she's still asleep and as everyone will realise the urge to drink is huge but still it's only day 2 and it doesn't help that my 20 year olds half bottle of Jack Daniels is sat down in the kitchen but I must say I'm quite proud I haven't touched it but it helps that I hate Jack Daniels lol .Thank-you everybody for your kind words X X X
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 379
Im so glad you are here FeelLost. Not sure where you are at but possibly checking out a recovery treatment program that you can attend on a regular basis to help you stay sober? Many times they can assess your needs and provide a level of care that would allow you to still be at home with your daughter but still get near daily recovery support. Theres also a wide variety of support groups that meet regularly too. Stick around here alot and post frequently, you'll get alot of support and honesty here. Granted sometimes hearing some of the responses can be hard sometimes but just remember everyones heart is in the right place.
Stick around I think SR will really benefit you!
Stick around I think SR will really benefit you!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 128
It is really sweet of you to be sensitive to the stigma of self-harm with your daughter. I have faith that thoughtfulness like that will help you in your road to recovery. Best of luck and let us know how things are going!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Uk
Posts: 8
Awww what wonderful replies it gives me to boost to carry on .I know I have a problem I'm a functioning alcoholic I work,have my 2 gorgeous daughters but can't help wondering if I'm to blame for my 14 year old self harming .I have taken this week off work to deal with my youngest and just be here with her I have already taken her to the doctors who has referred her to a councillor and have been into her school as they have excluded from food tech her fav subject which I find so wrong as she now has to sit in a separate class and do written work they might as well of put a self harmer sign round her neck but I'm fighting to get her back in class if she wanted to self harm she would find a way but not in the middle of a cookery lesson self harmers are expert in keeping it secret as I have just found out X X
So thanks again for all your support this is now the time of night I would drink maybe through boredom I'm not sure .It's just me and my 2 girls have no extending family and my girls have been my life but as they've grown up it gets lonely my youngest is at drama tonight and my eldest works in a restaurant so yes boredom and loneliness prob the main reason
But I am finding writing all this down helps and I've also made an appointment for me at the doctors for Monday I'm not quite sure what to say as admitting you are an alcoholic is one of the hardest things to do X X X
So thanks again for all your support this is now the time of night I would drink maybe through boredom I'm not sure .It's just me and my 2 girls have no extending family and my girls have been my life but as they've grown up it gets lonely my youngest is at drama tonight and my eldest works in a restaurant so yes boredom and loneliness prob the main reason
But I am finding writing all this down helps and I've also made an appointment for me at the doctors for Monday I'm not quite sure what to say as admitting you are an alcoholic is one of the hardest things to do X X X
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 2
you'll get there
It's hard to stay clean when you're so useless self-harming and you have a lot going on in life I've learned that cutting out absolutely anyone and anything that causes you to self harm or used alcohol or drugs is a big part of getting better you also would do well to find new hobbies and possibly something you and your daughter could do together so that you have a means to funny ways to stop I have 10 months clean of heroin and I had to cut about everybody out of my life move away from the town that I live in and now I'm just looking for some new friends myself always here if you need to talk
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Really glad you've joined us feellost 
Feel free to check out our Class of October support thread - it's for everyone quitting this month
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-thread-4.html
D
Feel free to check out our Class of October support thread - it's for everyone quitting this month
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-thread-4.html
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,099
I am really newly sober, and I so understand how you are feeling. Things will get better. People said that to me when I first came here, but I didn't believe them. But. it really does get better.
I wish I had some great advice to offer, but I don't. I just wanted to say hi and welcome, and you aren't alone. It will be okay.
Glad you are here.
I wish I had some great advice to offer, but I don't. I just wanted to say hi and welcome, and you aren't alone. It will be okay.
Glad you are here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Uk
Posts: 8
Thank you sugarangel yes it's true there is no magic formula to do this but all we can do is give it our best shot and if fall off the wagon get straight back on it X X X day 3 here we go X X X
Good luck and please keep in touch X
Good luck and please keep in touch X
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