Mountainmanbob

What the heck is going on ? My friend who (had) 12 years clean and sober is back in the pits of his addiction. It all started around a year ago when he told me that he was, "having an occasional glass of wine with his wife." I asked of him at that time, "how is that working for you ?" What else could I say ? Naturally he told me at that time that, "all was working out with his small amount of drinking very well."

Hadn't heard from him in a while so I gave him a call today. You might have guessed it, his drinking is not working well at all. Plus, now he has added to his mix some type of legal drug sold in Head Shops. He says that it reminds him of the heroin that he used in the old days. He also stated that the stuff is very addicting and he is strung out on it and the booze.

He asked of me to pray for him so that he might make a firm decision to stop yet again. I invited him to an AA meeting and lunch and we have a date for this Friday.

My wife drinks an occasional glass of wine and it disturbs me not but, do I think that I will ever be able to join her in a simple glass -- heck no -- I've been down that road too many times.

So here we are, yet another one close to me in my sobriety that has recently went back out. I hate that.

M-Bob

Lilro

Addiction.....

It's mind boggling isn't it? Good for you M-bob for continuing on with your sobriety. I can only imagine how hard it is. I'm a smoker, went 8 years smoke free and started again, go figure! As you know, he will get back on the wagon when he's ready. I pray that he joins you Friday. Keep us posted!
Ro

Mountainmanbob

It sure is mind boggling !
He also quit or was asked to leave his job which paid 75 to 125 thousand a year (Bail Bondsman).
Says it's all good, his wife is still working.
I wonder how long she will be happy with the situation ?

Although I met my wife while sober, she has seen me in action.
If she saw me today with a drink in my hand -- she would be gone.
She has told me that, "she will not stick around to see the train wreck."

M-Bob

Seren

Bob, I'm sorry to hear that your friend went back out, but happy that he has agreed to lunch and a meeting.

CelticZebra

That sneaky beast is catching people unawares!
We must b vigilant and resist even one drink.
I do hope this doesn't last long and your friend will soon re-join you in sober living
Keep on keeping on

Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself

lizatola

This is what happened to my XAH and I. He was dry for 15 years! He was so proud of himself and would brag about how long he had gone without a drink.
He literally picked up where he left off and the disease has a grip on him to this day. It happens often as far as I can tell. It's sad.

LexieCat

It IS sad. I'm not afraid of its happening to me, but it sure is a good warning about what can happen if you stray too far from the reality of what it is we're dealing with. I won't claim to be bulletproof, but I've seen enough lives wrecked that I don't EVER want to take a chance on going back. I'll brave the mosh pit, but not the alcohol pit.

I'm sorry about your friend, Bob--I hope he can get back on track.

maia1234

MMb,
It breaks your heart doesn't it. So many years and the beast raises it's head and is in control again.

I am so sorry. Maybe he will see what you got, and want that my friend. Sending hugs that Friday will be a good day.

Delilah1

Hi M-Bob,

I am sorry to hear about your friend. You are a great friend to him. I hope he meets you for lunch, and goes to a meeting.

❤️ Delilah

Mountainmanbob

Thank you all.
Wife and I prayed for him tonight before dinner.

By the grace of God there go I.

M-Bob

AnvilheadII

the beast never sleeps. it always lurks in the bushes, somewhere. waiting, patiently. we must remain forever vigilant.....we must leave at least one sentry on the wall.

that's why i love countdowns at conventions, from the most time30, 40, or 50 years sometimes , down to day one - the scared-out-of his-shoes newcomer, then the crowd is asked "who has today???" and everyone stands and cheers.

all we have is a daily reprieve, based upon our spiritual condition.

SmallButMighty

Bob,I'm sorry about your friend.

The title of your post scared me! ... I thought it was going to be about you and it broke my heart a little. I'm relieved this didn't happen to you and that you are able to extend the hand of hope to your friend.

Mountainmanbob

Thank you and thank you for your very kind thoughts have a blessed day Bob

It kind of scared my wife last night when she heard about our good friend going back out I think she worries about me. This disease is a terrible thing and we need to keep a daily vigilance that's for sure take care everybody.
MB

NYCDoglvr

Denial and rationalization are always with alcoholics, even those with years in recovery. It's the reason I keep going to AA, so I don't forget.

firebolt

Sorry about your friend, Bob. It is so so sad to watch. Prayers he finds his way again....and for some peace for his wife too.

Algorithm

The problem is that this thing never really dies, and the silence, especially after some time, past a year or more, is highly deceptive. It's also highly deceptive when the world doesn't immediately turn upside down after that first "dip" back in the water, but rather, does so very gradually.

If any formerly addicted person tells me that they have "no desire to drink/use, don't even miss it", as if it were an achievement to brag about, I often tell them that it might be better if they did. Then they wouldn't be deceived by the silence.

Just reassure your wife that you know this. It sounds like you do.

August252015

Thoughts for you and prayers for your friend today, Bob. Keep us updated on the meeting (I hope he follows through with the plan!).

I too have a friend who is struggling. He has quit various times over the years- and he knows he is an alcoholic- but it hasn't "stuck." He has done it in a "context" - ie, I will quit for the two months before football season; then I will drink when I watch Alabama, but only at home. Or, I will quit for a month so I will feel better. We all know what has happened. Most recently, he told me he had quit drinking (and smoking) for a week...then "messed up." It is hard for me to get these kind of confessions and know just what to say. He has seen my whole journey and witnesses (and comments on) my recovery, and he knows the door is always open to join me in AA....and I know I can't do it for him. It is really tough to watch someone not try to get what you have, when you know it would be the absolute best thing they could go after.

Prayers for us all - for TODAY!

Mountainmanbob

Yes this morning he and I are meeting to go to AA and then to lunch and then I have a surprise for him we are going to go visit a friend of mine that is in a Convalescent Hospital due to his returning to drinking and using he now has one leg amputated and the other leg doesn't work well and they put rubber hoses in to replace his jugular veins and a few other things the man's only 60 years old truthfully that could happen to any of us if we return to the drink a blessed day wished for all of you thank you Bob

Cyranoak

...and aspire to the same sentiment!

Mountainmanbob

What ever that crap is that he is getting from the head shop -- dang -- sounds to be very potent. It's amazing that one can walk right in and buy something that will destroy their life (legally.)

M-Bob