wpainterw

I was diagnosed as an alcoholic in 1958. With the help of "counseling" supplemented by medication I was "sober" from 1968 to 1975. Relapsed and did further "research" as a "high functioning alcoholic" for an additional thirteen years. Had three more hospitalizations with the final one being in 1988 after a life threatening relapse which led to a 28 day rehab with aftercare. With the help of an AA Agnostics group (a rarity in those days and an imperfect fit for me since I am neither agnostic nor atheist but have issues with conventional AA programs) I began recovery and have been sober for 28 years.
I cannot speak for others but, as far as I am concerned, my "research" taught me that the "high functioning alcoholic" concept was a myth which was part of my denial and postponed my recovery for a very long time. If you happen to be a "high functioning alcoholic", how is your "research" coming along?

W.

Algorithm

Thanks, wpainterw.

I did a lot of "research" while continuing to drink as well. I should have heard this many years ago, but I'm not sure that I would have listened.

I remember reading that alcoholism was an inherited, physiological disease, and that some groups were more susceptible to it than others. I also read that alcoholics metabolized alcohol differently than non-alcoholics, which led to addiction to alcohol. Alcohol was, therefore, selectively addictive, and only a minority of the population was susceptible.

Since I had no alcoholics in my family, and since I wasn't in one of the high risk demographic groups, I concluded that I was "safe" from ever inheriting the disease or ever becoming addicted, and I just kept on drinking. For years.

Really clever, no?

This is partly why I tell people not to concern themselves too much with questions about whether they are "an alcoholic" or not, high functioning, low functioning, high bottom, low bottom, etc.

Soberwolf

I don't believe in high functioning alcoholism to me it's where your at in your alcoholism all I know is it gets a lot worse if we allow it too

Nice post Painter

tursiops999

My experience supports this ... early on in my post-alcohol career, I was obsessing over whether I was "really an alcoholic" or not. So many things had not happened to me "yet" (no DUI, no trouble on the job, no complaints from family members). Heck, I usually limited myself to half a bottle of wine, most of the time, and "only" lost control on a few occasions.

Now I can see that the obsession with "am I alcoholic, am I a high-bottom alcoholic" etc, is nothing more than the Addictive Voice. Because if the answer is No, or even Maybe, then -- the beast gets to drink again !!!

Once I put that question out of my mind, I can see the absurdity of it. If there was even the tiniest possibility that I'm addicted to alcohol, why in the world would I ever drink again? The downside is so bad, that it would never be worth the risk. My rational mind can see that clearly. But the AV doesn't want me to see it at all.

And thanks for the thread, Bill.

Ooona

There is a spectrum to the progression of the illness of alcoholism: Early, Middle or Late Stage.
Regardless of what stage you are in , you're still an alcoholic and the need for abstinence remains the same.

SweatyHands

During my late stage active drinking, I did loads of "research." I knew what I needed to do to get healthy, but I was afraid of taking the steps needed to admit to my problem and get help. I secretly hoped that every room I walked into was going to be an intervention. And honestly, it wasn't until I really and truly hit bottom so hard that I couldn't continue drinking, that I understood what it was to want sobriety.

Maudcat

Thanks, wpainterw, for your post. I, too, think that "high functioning alcoholics" don't exist. They just haven't progressed far enough in the disease, imo, for things to REALLY start falling apart. Love the dalmatian, btw. Peace.

PurpleKnight

I thankfully got off the alcohol train a few stops back before it crashed.

One of those stops was indeed called "functioning alcoholic" . . . but the train was still hurtling through and still on the way to derailing!!

Great post Bill!!

wpainterw

Hi Sweaty Hands! I must say that your avatar and name are inspired and bring back memories. Sweaty hands, trembling hands, diastolic pressure 130 (a "killer" as a doctor friend remarked), elevated enzymes (irreversible another doctor said- fortunately he was wrong), etc. etc. Life like the ending passages of Berlioz' "March to the Scaffold" in his Symphony Fantastique. The "nightmare life in death..." as Coleridge's "Ancient Mariner" said.
All in the past. At least I truly hope. "Promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep."

Bill

ThomPom

A friend of mine is a "highly functional alcholic". He would drink to reduce stress of his business but not to numb him out "as a person". He drinks daily about 1,5 ltrs ( a little more than 1/3 gallon) of wine starting ad lunch.

Of course, once he further progresses into the stages of the desease he will eventually become less functional, but still, I think in the medium stages it may make a difference WHY and FOR WHAT REASON you drink alcohol in the first place.

Thomas

Darwinia

I thought of myself as a functioning alcoholic. Was quite proud of it too. But I saw that the light at the end of the tunnel was an oncoming train. I got off.

saoutchik

Interesting post Bill, thank you.

Like Tursiops I was holding down my job, barely in my case and, mostly due to the fact that I live in central London and have little need to use my car socially I had no DUI's either (known as DWI's in the UK). Finally as a late middle aged solitary drinker I did not get into fights or anti social behaviour. So I was a funtioning alcoholic, I doubt that I could claim to be a high functioning one.

The thing is it was only a question of time before I would have started to miss work days, underperformed and eventually lose my job or maybe my internal organs would have started to fail, if that is the path you are on then you cannot claim to be high functioning, you are just a firework that flares and dies

My other observation is that OK I made to work and paid the bills etc, I functioned, but that is what my fridge light does, it functions by switching on when I open the fridge. As humans we aspire to something more than functioning

ReadyAtLast

I once read on here someone explaining that a high functioning alcoholic is a self given term but basically means an alcoholic with a good job.

MLD51

I used to play the "am I really an alcoholic" game. Because I didn't want to quit. I could easily convince myself I "wasn't that bad." Or "not as bad as that guy/gal." I don't care anymore if I'm really an alcoholic or not. I go to AA meetings and say "I'm Marty and I'm an alcoholic." All I know is that alcohol began to cause me more problems in my life than I was willing to put up with. The definitions don't matter to me. I'm grateful I got to my "rock bottom" when I did, before my entire life imploded. I'll never forget the moment when I said to myself "enough is enough." My life started changing for the better immediately. That's all the proof I need that I cannot drink like normal people and that I'll never be able to.

Forward12

I'm for sure a non-functioning alcoholic, and figured most others would be in my shoes, but I was pretty surprised to see the vast majority of alcoholics fall into the "high functioning" category.
The only alcoholic I know in real life is one of these. He has a good job, wife, just got a new home, yet drinks a case of beer a day.
I think many people that fall into this category really fly under the radar as people around them seem to think it's not a problem as they otherwise function normally, but it reality in really is an unhealthy "shield" to a major problem.

Jade1224

For ME, I wasted so much time drinking. I was highly functioning too until I wasn't any more. I was able to hold down two jobs and pay my bills and go on vacation and take my son places.

My parents for a long time told me i could drink as long as I took care of my responsibilities first. But I often think of how much more rewarding my life could be now if I had of put all of that effort in pretending to be normal, drinking at the right times, worrying about what was the right time, wondering if drinking at 1 in the afternoon was normal - if I had of put all that effort into something productive like school I could be a doctor or a lawyer or a writer or an artist.

I became really good for a long time at fooling people into thinking I'm normal. Including myself. And I'm really tired of it. It took a lot of energy to hide the alcoholism. The drinking didn't do me any favors and there is so much more to life than that.

Algorithm

Tursiops, I think you've got it! Bravo!

Quite an insight, no?

I was fully in the grip of my Addictive Voice while doing my research, but it's only with the machinery of AVRT at my disposal that I can see this. The Beast is obsessed with the next drink, and it can read the literature, looking for any loopholes to justify that drink.

wpainterw

Make a difference? How? The body doesn't care why or for what reason. And the AV certainly doesn't care. Actually the AV provides plenty of reasons why you should drink. If you have additional "reasons" then it is delighted. "Be my guest" it says. "Belly up to the bar boys!"

W.

butcher70

I think at some point everyone that has got hooked on the bottle goes through the phases. Normal drinker, problem drinker, high functioning, med and low functioning. Non functioning....than death. Glad it's behind me and hope to leave it there.

wpainterw

Have yet to experience death, but I'm in no particular hurry about that.

W.