Back to No contact for me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 18
Back to No contact for me
As I mentioned in an earlier post. after a month of not seeing my ex and almost 3 weeks of no contact, he showed up at a wedding reception (uninvited) likely because he knew I would be there. He talked to me, I refrained from saying much about myself when he would ask questions. I was very brief and a little cold. He, on the other hand, cried. Told me he cries every time he talks about it and that he needs to work on himself and his addictions. But maybe with a little more time things could be different he tells me. I said, "I don't want to hold on to false hope." He responded by saying he didn't want me to hold on to hope either but he hopes I keep a place in my heart for him because of how meaningful our relationship was. As I walked away, he pulled me in for a hug, I didn't hug back (which was hard) and that was that. Little did I realize at the moment just how much I was being manipulated AGAIN!
It wasn't a week later that, being from a small town, word gets out that he has been sleeping around with mutual acquaintances of ours. I was/am re-heartbroken. The man I used to love would have been disturbed by someone else for these same actions.
I let him know that I knew, and that I can now let go of any hope and he will no longer sell me his garbage about a future possibility. At first, he was defensive, but then he tells me that loneliness and substances are making him do stupid things and that he needs to figure himself out before he lets anyone back in his life (me presumably). Even after being called on his b.s. he still tries to keep me on the line.
I now can see the full picture that the man I miss and loved so much no longer exists. There is no happy ending for him and I as a couple and I need to let go of that fantasy. Hearing that the man I devoted 6 years of my life to is already sleeping around with young girls really gave me the slap in the face that I needed to finally let go all of the way.
To be honest, holding on to that tiny ounce of hope made me feel a little less lonely but now its time to own the loneliness and move forward.
Big sigh.....
It wasn't a week later that, being from a small town, word gets out that he has been sleeping around with mutual acquaintances of ours. I was/am re-heartbroken. The man I used to love would have been disturbed by someone else for these same actions.
I let him know that I knew, and that I can now let go of any hope and he will no longer sell me his garbage about a future possibility. At first, he was defensive, but then he tells me that loneliness and substances are making him do stupid things and that he needs to figure himself out before he lets anyone back in his life (me presumably). Even after being called on his b.s. he still tries to keep me on the line.
I now can see the full picture that the man I miss and loved so much no longer exists. There is no happy ending for him and I as a couple and I need to let go of that fantasy. Hearing that the man I devoted 6 years of my life to is already sleeping around with young girls really gave me the slap in the face that I needed to finally let go all of the way.
To be honest, holding on to that tiny ounce of hope made me feel a little less lonely but now its time to own the loneliness and move forward.
Big sigh.....
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I am sure that hurt and am sending hugs.
Always remember that you alone hold the key to your happiness. One day the pain will lesson and you will discover what a strong, courageous, woman you are and new beginnings will await you.
For now, let the healing begin.
Hugs
Always remember that you alone hold the key to your happiness. One day the pain will lesson and you will discover what a strong, courageous, woman you are and new beginnings will await you.
For now, let the healing begin.
Hugs
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Sometimes a slap in the face can be helpful, even though it's extremely painful.
And yes, to willingly let go of someone we love is painfully difficult. But there are times, Barkley, that we're given little choice. We can hold onto someone who hurts us and damages us in the hopes of them turning things around...or we can let go of them, save our sanity, and look forward to the prospects of tomorrow.
This will sting for some time, but the good news is "some time" is not forever. Trust me on this.
And yes, to willingly let go of someone we love is painfully difficult. But there are times, Barkley, that we're given little choice. We can hold onto someone who hurts us and damages us in the hopes of them turning things around...or we can let go of them, save our sanity, and look forward to the prospects of tomorrow.
This will sting for some time, but the good news is "some time" is not forever. Trust me on this.
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