Elfie312

I am so thankful to be alive right now I just need to get this out there. Last week I started drinking...why? I don't know. My boyfriend took me to his sisters house to "get me clean" but it was alcoholics dream there. All the alcohol I could drink and no one watching me. I started placing bottles around the house so I wouldn't get caught going to the drinks....wow addiction is terrible. Apparently this stuff was much stronger than my typical cheap vodka because it hit me hard. Eventually I was so drunk I stopped breathing and had no gag reflex. I had go be incubated and placed on a vent for 2 days and I now have pneumonia and some other lung issues as a result. Poison...poison. why is this stuff legal? If that doesn't stop me from this vicious cycle, nothing will. I'm praying for my life that my desire to drink never returns.

Elfie312

Anyone take it this far? A new low for me I'm hoping this raspy voice the tubes gave me sticks around as a reminder

Elfie312

Oops forgot the good news! One week sober not an ounce of desire to drink

Dee74

I'm really glad you're here to tell the tale Elfie

Got any ideas on the nuts and bolts of how you'll stay sober now?

D

Elfie312

Dealing with some postpartum depression so I have appointments set up to stay on and get on the right medication. Journal has helped out alot so far too.

Long walks with my baby girl everyday has been awesome...cold air feels good on my poor lungs too.

Mags1

Hi Elfie, congratulations on a week sober, sorry what you went through but the desire to drink will return and you need the tools to use to be able to deal with it.

I found keeping close to SR helped. We're reminded that we aren't strong enough to have just one drink.

K66

I had my work call me an ambulance for what turned out to be a massive panic attack and ended up binge drinking with my clean bill of health... that was 2 weeks ago... I'm back on day one... haven't slept since I woke up and called into work this morning.... I have to be there for 6am... pretty sure it was my last sick day.... I've been accused 3 times of being inebriated which I wasn't but it could be that hangovers. .. faced 3 drug and breathalyzer tests and passed them but ... I can't do it anymore... I'm exhausted. ..nor to mention it's affecting the way I look now
.. dry skin and hair... dark patches on my face.. now redness... I just turned 30... I'm 4"11 and about 110lbs and I've been drinking about a mickey a day for a few years now... insomnia is killing me... I'm glad you're okay...stay healthy for you and your loved ones...I can't wait for my 7 day mark...

Soberwolf

Elfie & K66

ulfr

Well Done on a week
keep going ...sitting here with you

january161992

wow elfie scary stuff

im glad youre here with us now

thomas11

I hate to use the tired cliches of "a wake-up call" but I hope that was it. You were literally lucky to wake up. Sounds like you have a newborn as well? Double the reason to quit. Congrats on a week.

Elfie312

Yep a little baby girl most definitely a wake up call. I got this! A plan is in place and I'm staying focused!

Elfie312

Still here 9 days or 8 I don't know it's all blurry let's go with 9!! And no desire to drink. I know that won't last but hoping it does for awhile at least! Going to talk to someone Monday and I can't wait! I feel like everyone is trying to help but stressing me out more telling me what I need to do. Everyone wants to talk about how it made them feel...what about me? How about how I feel? Is that selfish? I mean I have pneumonia and not a single person has asked how I feel. Which I get it , I gave it to myself kinda but still. I just feel like I should be super selfish right now focus and me and my daughter or am I just way off?

Delilah1

I'm glad you are okay, congratulations on nine days sober.

Quincy

Hi Elfie. I think being selfish right could be a good idea. How do you feel?

teatreeoil007

I agree that you need to focus on you and your daughter. Family and friends mean well, but sometimes we take advice better from complete strangers, for some reason?

Glad you are going to get help for the postpartum depression. Is that one reason why you drank? That high octane alcohol can be a killer, quite literally.

Elfie312

i want to say yes that is why I drank but if I'm being honest, this issue has been around way before the postpartum. It has been an on and off thing for years where I go on 2 to 3 day binges then sober up for weeks or months and months, a year once but I was pregnant and trying to get pregnant so I don't count the that . It always starts when I'm alone at the end of the day like I'm just bored or something. A cycle I'm ready to be done with

Elfie312

I feel good and like I'm taking steps in the right direction. I'm not even letting my husbands attitude ruin my focus!

Ooona

Very good with staying sober! I related to the end of the day drinking pattern. That was mine as well. I would talk myself into it by saying I earned it or deserved it, I used it as my reward for working hard or I would say I NEED it to help me cope with a tragedy that I had faced in my life. What Ive found after getting over the initial hump is that there are other way more better ways to reward myself ( hot baths, new candles, lotions, polish my nails which I couldnt do cuz I shook like a bowl of jello!!) and also better ways to cope with my sadness and pain like journaling, talking with a friend, or even just allowing myself to feel the feelings and have a good old fasioned gut wrenching, nose running, mascara all down the face cry session!

Its all good, just changing the mindset to one that is healthy rather then self destructive yes?

You're doing wonderful. Hug and love on that baby girl and then kiss her and hug her some more. Shes a gift, I know you know that.

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back Elfie

Congrats on your week sober and your baby girl.

I eventually realised I had to get sober as I also had a small child and didn't want him growing up seeing me drinking or the results of it. Ever.

It was critical for me to have a plan and also support. Everyone is different but finding out what works for you and the support you need is crucial as bad memories do fade and the desire does hit when we least expect it. For me, it is learning how to deal with the thoughts and cravings when they do hit.