Getting the Most Out of AA
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 80
Getting the Most Out of AA
Hi All, Putting some sober days behind me and gearing up to head back to AA. I don't know why I've resisted it - reluctance, feeling of shame, being shy, being the newbie, being judged. Though the thought of being judged at a AA meeting is somewhat comical to me, but that's how I feel sometimes. That's kind of a universal thing for me though that I need to work through.
How did people here feel when they went to their first meeting? And what has worked for you the most in AA? I'm not religious per se, but I live in a place where there are all types in the meetings, so I'm not too worried about that. The time's I've gone before as a first timer I've gotten the lists of phone numbers, but honestly I never called people as it felt weird to call a total stranger like that. Any advice on that part of it? Should I just call random people daily as part of my work? Of course, if an alcoholic called me wanting help or to talk I'd be glad, so I see how it could work.
How did people here feel when they went to their first meeting? And what has worked for you the most in AA? I'm not religious per se, but I live in a place where there are all types in the meetings, so I'm not too worried about that. The time's I've gone before as a first timer I've gotten the lists of phone numbers, but honestly I never called people as it felt weird to call a total stranger like that. Any advice on that part of it? Should I just call random people daily as part of my work? Of course, if an alcoholic called me wanting help or to talk I'd be glad, so I see how it could work.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Get a sponsor (Go to a meeting and listen to what people say - pick a person of the same sex as you who you can relate to you and who has some good sober time). Start working the steps. It was my experience that sitting in AA meetings did not make me sober and sane any more than sleeping in my garage made me a car. I needed to do the work...the 12 steps. I was just out in Denver and I do not think they offer Big Book Step Study in that area. I did find some good step meetings though! I suggest you head for a 12&12 meeting or another type of Step Meeting and get yourself a sponsor ASAP. When I was new I also called 3 women per week from AA...to chat, make friends, get knit in. My sponsor required it and I hated it but I am so glad I did it.
There are 2 parts of AA
1. Fellowship (meetings, friendships, commitments)
2. Step work and recovery
Be sure that you incorporate both for a full recovery and restoration to sanity.
There are 2 parts of AA
1. Fellowship (meetings, friendships, commitments)
2. Step work and recovery
Be sure that you incorporate both for a full recovery and restoration to sanity.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
Originally Posted by SunnyDenver 
Any advice on that part of it? Should I just call random people daily as part of my work? Of course, if an alcoholic called me wanting help or to talk I'd be glad, so I see how it could work.
as a knucklehead and a (sober) drunk my advice would be worthless
my experience has been to go to lots of meetings and listen and then slowly meet people and get phone numbers
after a while i got a sponsor and did the steps, got into service (helping others) and my life got better
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
How did people here feel when they went to their first meeting?
I felt like a hopeless,helpless, useless,worthless POS.
after that meeting I felt like a hopeless,helpless,worthless,useless POS.
even feeling hopeless I had hope the program would help me.
and working the steps is what helped the most.
I also had a lot of fear, mainly of the unknown- what life without alcohol would be like.
I also had fear of being judged- was so dammed concerned with what others thought of me. my sponsor had me go sit in walmart and people watch for an hour, then stop by his place.
"welp, I did what ya said."
"good! how many people did ya see?"
"a LOT!"
"how many made eye contact with you?"
" a few. maybe 10."
" that's how important you are." 300 million people in the US and 299,999,998 aren't even thinking about you right now."
HUH!!!
I felt like a hopeless,helpless, useless,worthless POS.
after that meeting I felt like a hopeless,helpless,worthless,useless POS.
even feeling hopeless I had hope the program would help me.
and working the steps is what helped the most.
I also had a lot of fear, mainly of the unknown- what life without alcohol would be like.
I also had fear of being judged- was so dammed concerned with what others thought of me. my sponsor had me go sit in walmart and people watch for an hour, then stop by his place.
"welp, I did what ya said."
"good! how many people did ya see?"
"a LOT!"
"how many made eye contact with you?"
" a few. maybe 10."
" that's how important you are." 300 million people in the US and 299,999,998 aren't even thinking about you right now."
HUH!!!
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,977
Originally Posted by tomsteve
my sponsor had me go sit in walmart and people watch for an hour, then stop by his place.
"welp, I did what ya said."
"good! how many people did ya see?"
"a LOT!"
"how many made eye contact with you?"
" a few. maybe 10."
" that's how important you are." 300 million people in the US and 299,999,998 aren't even thinking about you right now."
HUH!!!
"welp, I did what ya said."
"good! how many people did ya see?"
"a LOT!"
"how many made eye contact with you?"
" a few. maybe 10."
" that's how important you are." 300 million people in the US and 299,999,998 aren't even thinking about you right now."
HUH!!!
excellent
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
This is today's AA reading
"THE CIRCLE AND THE TRIANGLE
The circle stands for the whole world of A.A., and the triangle stands for A.A.'s Three Legacies of Recovery, Unity, and Service. Within our wonderful new world, we have found freedom from our fatal obsession.
— A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 139
Early in my A.A. life, I became employed in its services and I found the explanation of our society's logo to be very appropriate. First, a circle of love and service with a well-balanced triangle inside, the base of which represents our Recovery through the Twelve Steps. Then the other two sides, representing Unity and Service, respectively. The three sides of the triangle are equal. As I grew in A.A. I soon identified myself with this symbol. I am the circle, and the sides of the triangle represent three aspects of my personality: physical, emotional sanity, and spirituality, the latter forming the symbol's base. Taken together, all three aspects of my personality translate into a sober and happy life."
One of the legs of the triangle is service. When you reach out to andalcoholic you are doing service work. Your call is helping that person stay sober. Just like here on SR when I post I hope my words help people but more importantly my words keep me stay sober. By giving I am getting.
From the BB
PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.
Trust me when you call you are doing them a favor
"THE CIRCLE AND THE TRIANGLE
The circle stands for the whole world of A.A., and the triangle stands for A.A.'s Three Legacies of Recovery, Unity, and Service. Within our wonderful new world, we have found freedom from our fatal obsession.
— A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 139
Early in my A.A. life, I became employed in its services and I found the explanation of our society's logo to be very appropriate. First, a circle of love and service with a well-balanced triangle inside, the base of which represents our Recovery through the Twelve Steps. Then the other two sides, representing Unity and Service, respectively. The three sides of the triangle are equal. As I grew in A.A. I soon identified myself with this symbol. I am the circle, and the sides of the triangle represent three aspects of my personality: physical, emotional sanity, and spirituality, the latter forming the symbol's base. Taken together, all three aspects of my personality translate into a sober and happy life."
One of the legs of the triangle is service. When you reach out to andalcoholic you are doing service work. Your call is helping that person stay sober. Just like here on SR when I post I hope my words help people but more importantly my words keep me stay sober. By giving I am getting.
From the BB
PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.
Trust me when you call you are doing them a favor
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Sunny
I can only share why I resisted AA. In the beginning, as an early stage alchie 13 years ago, I felt like AA was a cult. I did join a group, got a sponsor, but I was always aloof. I didn't totally fit in (a feeling I have in general). I wasn't desperate enough to listen. I wasn't open enough to learn. And I wasn't honest enough with myself that I was headed down a very dangerous path. I stayed sober for a year (my goal btw), stopped going to meetings and relapsed. Then began a decade of on and off abstinence...sometimes in AA, most of the time not.
Then I was sober for a couple of years without AA but I couldn't maintain it....now here I am, late stage, and desperate. I think I also resist AA because I know it will work if I do what is suggested. Hey, I might actually recover. NO, not possible. But I now have faith it is possible.
Its normal to feel awkward and insecure. Just realize that AA meetings really are for the newcomers. They keep the meetings going, changing. Sponsorship helps the sponsors as much as the sponsees. It really isn't unconditional. And what really excites me? When its time, I get to help another alcoholic who is suffering just as I had. Kinda cool.
I can only share why I resisted AA. In the beginning, as an early stage alchie 13 years ago, I felt like AA was a cult. I did join a group, got a sponsor, but I was always aloof. I didn't totally fit in (a feeling I have in general). I wasn't desperate enough to listen. I wasn't open enough to learn. And I wasn't honest enough with myself that I was headed down a very dangerous path. I stayed sober for a year (my goal btw), stopped going to meetings and relapsed. Then began a decade of on and off abstinence...sometimes in AA, most of the time not.
Then I was sober for a couple of years without AA but I couldn't maintain it....now here I am, late stage, and desperate. I think I also resist AA because I know it will work if I do what is suggested. Hey, I might actually recover. NO, not possible. But I now have faith it is possible.
Its normal to feel awkward and insecure. Just realize that AA meetings really are for the newcomers. They keep the meetings going, changing. Sponsorship helps the sponsors as much as the sponsees. It really isn't unconditional. And what really excites me? When its time, I get to help another alcoholic who is suffering just as I had. Kinda cool.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
I was scared but was greeted with welcome and by the end of the meeting I hugged the guy who took me and later that night became my sponser
I felt good after my first meeting I think I had my first pink cloud moment that night for me it like a revelation
I felt good after my first meeting I think I had my first pink cloud moment that night for me it like a revelation
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
I will say that when I came to AA and heard people speak I felt at home. I don't mean just about drugs and alcohol. I mean about life. I heard so many people share about they way they thought about things...how they felt about life...about waking up fighting battles inside their own heads...about crippling anxiety at the thought of having to ask for their change if a cashier forgot it. Things that always plagued me. For the first time ever I felt like someone understood me. Before that time I thought I was just crazy.......
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Bunny211
I will say that when I came to AA and heard people speak I felt at home. I don't mean just about drugs and alcohol. I mean about life. I heard so many people share about they way they thought about things...how they felt about life...about waking up fighting battles inside their own heads...about crippling anxiety at the thought of having to ask for their change if a cashier forgot it. Things that always plagued me. For the first time ever I felt like someone understood me. Before that time I thought I was just crazy.......
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
I found a lot of live in AA, but get a sponsor! That's when it worked for me, my sponsor gave me this link and it really did a lot for me, it is over an hour but listen, it's funny, and amazing.http://www.recoveryaudio.org/aa-speaker-tapes/top-circuit-speaker-shares-his-story
Mick
Mick
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by Mick75
I found a lot of live in AA, but get a sponsor! That's when it worked for me, my sponsor gave me this link and it really did a lot for me, it is over an hour but listen, it's funny, and amazing.http://www.recoveryaudio.org/aa-speaker-tapes/top-circuit-speaker-shares-his-story
Mick
Mick
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Find a sponsor, not a therapist or lonely hearts phone line, and work the steps and traditions hard. Go early, stay late. Service (I washed a lot of cups early on). Three things my cousin told me that really helped: go to a steps, big book and speaker meeting weekly. The other stuff fell into place. I posted a lot here when I had a craving, urge or just couldn't sleep and was scared of my thoughts. Listened to a lot of speaker tapes early on, and just a lot of common sense You CAN do this if you want to
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Originally Posted by Mick75
I found a lot of live in AA, but get a sponsor! That's when it worked for me, my sponsor gave me this link and it really did a lot for me, it is over an hour but listen, it's funny, and amazing.Top AA Circuit Speaker Shares His Story on The Solution | RecoveryAudio.org
Mick
Mick
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
show up early and stay late.
help set up chairs, make coffee.
help put same chairs away, clear the tables, toss coffee cups, clean the smoke area outside if there is one.
there is a phenomenon known as the Meeting AFTER the Meeting......sometimes it's just hanging out BS'ing in the parking lot, often it's a trip to Denny's and a late night coffee and pie marathon. but it's all good stuff, being surrounded by other sober-minded individuals.
find out about conferences and dances and speaker meetings and retreats in your area.
find out about H&I meetings (hospitals and institutions).
offer to do a reading at the opening of the meeting.
listen closely to other people's stories.
listen for YOUR story in their words.
get a Big Book.
READ IT.
Attend Step Study meetings, attend Gender-specific meetings.
Go to meetings when you WANT to and drag your @ss to meetings when you don't.
help set up chairs, make coffee.
help put same chairs away, clear the tables, toss coffee cups, clean the smoke area outside if there is one.
there is a phenomenon known as the Meeting AFTER the Meeting......sometimes it's just hanging out BS'ing in the parking lot, often it's a trip to Denny's and a late night coffee and pie marathon. but it's all good stuff, being surrounded by other sober-minded individuals.
find out about conferences and dances and speaker meetings and retreats in your area.
find out about H&I meetings (hospitals and institutions).
offer to do a reading at the opening of the meeting.
listen closely to other people's stories.
listen for YOUR story in their words.
get a Big Book.
READ IT.
Attend Step Study meetings, attend Gender-specific meetings.
Go to meetings when you WANT to and drag your @ss to meetings when you don't.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
show up early and stay late.
help set up chairs, make coffee.
help put same chairs away, clear the tables, toss coffee cups, clean the smoke area outside if there is one.
there is a phenomenon known as the Meeting AFTER the Meeting......sometimes it's just hanging out BS'ing in the parking lot, often it's a trip to Denny's and a late night coffee and pie marathon. but it's all good stuff, being surrounded by other sober-minded individuals.
find out about conferences and dances and speaker meetings and retreats in your area.
find out about H&I meetings (hospitals and institutions).
offer to do a reading at the opening of the meeting.
listen closely to other people's stories.
listen for YOUR story in their words.
get a Big Book.
READ IT.
Attend Step Study meetings, attend Gender-specific meetings.
Go to meetings when you WANT to and drag your @ss to meetings when you don't.
help set up chairs, make coffee.
help put same chairs away, clear the tables, toss coffee cups, clean the smoke area outside if there is one.
there is a phenomenon known as the Meeting AFTER the Meeting......sometimes it's just hanging out BS'ing in the parking lot, often it's a trip to Denny's and a late night coffee and pie marathon. but it's all good stuff, being surrounded by other sober-minded individuals.
find out about conferences and dances and speaker meetings and retreats in your area.
find out about H&I meetings (hospitals and institutions).
offer to do a reading at the opening of the meeting.
listen closely to other people's stories.
listen for YOUR story in their words.
get a Big Book.
READ IT.
Attend Step Study meetings, attend Gender-specific meetings.
Go to meetings when you WANT to and drag your @ss to meetings when you don't.
"When is the best time to attend a meeting? When you feel like it and when tou don't" simple and says it all. Hang in there if a knuckle dragging SOB like me can do it so can you! Love ya Mick
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