Seren

I learned this evening that my stepson was admitted this morning to the hospital where he lives...again. The late Mr. Seren and I have visited him in many hospitals over the years. I am told that it is alcohol and now heroin (*sigh*). I called the hospital to try to find out some information about his condition, but he did not want the nurses speaking to anyone about his medical condition (HIPPA). We have learned what we know through his friends where he lives. I did speak to him on the phone, and he sounds terrible. Plus, he fed me some line about how his blood pressure medicine needs regulating and that is why he is in the hospital (Oh? *eye roll*).

I don't know yet if I'm going up or not. I'm not going to rescue him, advise him, buy him anything, help him in any way (unless asked, and then only after considering what I am willing to do)--especially since he can't seem to be honest with me. More than anything, I just want to see him with my own eyes.

And I hope that his sister and I are not planning our second family funeral in a year.

53500

That is quite sad, Seren. I'm sorry you and your family have to deal with this. Praying for your step-son, his sister and you.

Bekindalways

Wow Seren. This sounds like a complex type of difficult. Irk

Is this the first time you have dealt with him since your husband's death?

You probably know the routine advice: i.e. take care of yourself and go to Alanon but it sounds like you are an unfortunate veteran of this cycle.

Big hug!

dandylion

Seren...I understand. completely!
I know that you know that it is not in your hands. It is in the hands of the Universe.....
I now know, well enough , that you will do what you feel is best.

My heart is going out to you, Seren....I am sheding a tear for you.....

sincerely,
dandylion

Seren

Thank you for the hugs and the prayers, I really do appreciate it!!

Bekindalways: I have had a couple of conversations with him since his dad died. For one particular phone call he was drunk as a Lord. Since then, he has not bothered to talk to me and won't answer my text messages. Last night was the first I've spoken with him since then, and he sounded awful and lied through his teeth--which is not unusual for him.

Dandylion: Mr. Seren and I spent many a day/night at hospitals with this young man. He always seems to fall apart in the fall--right around this time. My stepdaughter and I have been praying for a miracle for him. It was just a few years ago that his friends spent the weekend out of town and found him wandering the street in full-blown DTs when they returned.

At this point, I have not made plans to go up. He doesn't seem willing to talk to me since his father is no longer here. I would like to at least see him, but he might not even allow me to if I were to make the 8+ hour drive there. He certainly was not honest with me last night when I spoke with him.

I guess I'll need to talk to my stepdaughter and her two other brothers about what they want to see happen if he does NOT make it through this. Can't believe I can be so matter of fact, but that is really the level of detachment you reach after so long.

But there is still life, so I still have hope for his miracle!! That is what I am praying for!!!

Praying

Seren, I just want to add my prayers... you are a warrior.

LexieCat

Hugs and prayers from me, too.

I don't know what going up there would do for him, so I guess I'd make the decision based on what feels right to you. If you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't go, go, as long as you keep a firm lid on any expectations from anyone.

thephoenixrises

Hugs and prayers from me. You are strong and will do the right thing for you! I'm praying he sees the light and chooses change.

Seren

Thank you all so much! Don't know if I feel much like a warrior at the moment, Praying, just a tired woman trying to what I think is right for me, for the young man, and for what Mr. Seren would have wanted.

Lexie, for right now, I guess I'm not going to make the drive. I do not believe he would accept me as a visitor because he likes to think he has me fooled. I'm not using my Annual Leave hours and wasting gas money for naught.

I guess I will wait until I am told that he does not have much longer. Hopefully, that is not the case right now. I'm going to see if my stepdaughter has heard any more.

Bother....

LexieCat

Not to try to minimize the danger he's in, but my second husband almost died of liver/kidney failure, went back to drinking, and somehow is still alive almost 20 years later. So he isn't necessarily on death's door just yet. As long as he's alive there's hope that someday something will click and he'll have that moment of clarity.

FireSprite

So, so, so many ((((((((HUGS)))))))) Seren. I'm sorry.

honeypig

Just wanted to add my wishes to the pile you've collected here already. You chose your name well, I believe. I hope the feeling of serenity continues to comfort you thru this time.

Lilro

(((((Seren)))))

firebolt

You guys are in my thoughts and prayers Seren. Heartbreaking.

Seren

Thanks everyone! it is amazing, isn't it. To think that he really could go on abusing himself for years to come. I suppose I am going to have to prepare for what may come if he doesn't stop digging.

Maudcat

Sending you good thoughts, Seren.

shockozulu

Been keeping you in my thoughts Seren. I went through this with my mother. Its hard, I know

Dee74

Seren

D

Seren

It would be nice to learn his current prognosis, but he is not forthcoming, nurses can't talk to us.

I don't know how HIPAA (HIPPA?) works exactly, but would no one really tell us if he died or was close to death if he hadn't given permission for that to happen? Seems amazingly cruel if so.

shockozulu

if he passed away they would notify his next of kin. If he is just dying, no unless he has changed anything from now until then. It is very hard, I know having been through this. I remember once the hospital didn't even know Mom had family until I called after hearing from a friend she had been ill. It's more than HIPPA, it has to do with medical ethics and privacy.