Dreaming of vs Wanting
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
Dreaming of vs Wanting
I've spent a couple of years dreaming about the life I could have without alcohol. I've been here on and off for 20 months 'thinking' I was going to give up the drink based on 'liking the dream'.
But as part of my 'epiphany' earlier this week I've realised that everything I've said and done re: giving up drinking has all been a bit in this 'wishy-washy' dreamland.
A good life sober with all the benefits that brings is not some dream. It is a solid fact that I can have in reality - it is there for the taking if I truly want it.
I am guilty of day dreaming (like many people life has been a bit yuck for as long as I can remember, literally as long as I can remember) as those day dreams are better than reality. BUT this is one time when they are not.
Thank you for indulging me in my many rambles here this week.
But as part of my 'epiphany' earlier this week I've realised that everything I've said and done re: giving up drinking has all been a bit in this 'wishy-washy' dreamland.
A good life sober with all the benefits that brings is not some dream. It is a solid fact that I can have in reality - it is there for the taking if I truly want it.
I am guilty of day dreaming (like many people life has been a bit yuck for as long as I can remember, literally as long as I can remember) as those day dreams are better than reality. BUT this is one time when they are not.
Thank you for indulging me in my many rambles here this week.
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 249
Hi Virginia Woof,
I'm fairly new so not sure of what is ok or not.
I see you started the topic.
I relate to day dreaming. I do it all the time!
I only have 9 days so my dreams center around the last round of carnage I caused to my loved ones.
What if... if only.... I have imaginary play dates with my kids that I can't see because of my drunken actions.
Some are more day nightmares as well.
Future events appearing real - hey I just did that! FEAR
Forgive my rambling. Me and brain are just starting to get to know each other again.
Be nice to yourself - please?
Snarly
I'm fairly new so not sure of what is ok or not.
I see you started the topic.
I relate to day dreaming. I do it all the time!
I only have 9 days so my dreams center around the last round of carnage I caused to my loved ones.
What if... if only.... I have imaginary play dates with my kids that I can't see because of my drunken actions.
Some are more day nightmares as well.
Future events appearing real - hey I just did that! FEAR
Forgive my rambling. Me and brain are just starting to get to know each other again.
Be nice to yourself - please?
Snarly
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Snarly 
Forgive my rambling. Me and brain are just starting to get to know each other again.
You finished by saying "Be nice to yourself". Can I turn that round and send it back at you? Yes, it makes sense to remember things we've said and done or thought and done due to the influence of alcohol or drugs. But we can not change them. We can learn from them but not change them.
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 249
Sure. I am trying to be nicer to me.
On a brainy level I understand what you are saying.
I do want to learn from them. I want to be a better person.
I also understand that there is no way my family and friends will understand this. Only time with me being sober and trying to become a better person will help that.
I can only hope they will forgive me.
I think my actions need to be positive and consistent to show them I am committed to change.
It's that critter in my head that wants to wallow in pity.
Can you please explain the want versus dream? I think I understand but if you would that would be helpful.
Thanks!
On a brainy level I understand what you are saying.
I do want to learn from them. I want to be a better person.
I also understand that there is no way my family and friends will understand this. Only time with me being sober and trying to become a better person will help that.
I can only hope they will forgive me.
I think my actions need to be positive and consistent to show them I am committed to change.
It's that critter in my head that wants to wallow in pity.
Can you please explain the want versus dream? I think I understand but if you would that would be helpful.
Thanks!
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 249
Looks like a no sleep night for me. I took off work this week because I knew it was going to be rough.
This is not my first time getting sober. I can't even remember how many times I have tried. I have been drinking pre teens.
I joined the military to get away from a really rough crowd in High School. Stayed sober through Boot Camp but the military crowd was just as bad.
I was sober 9 years. Hard core AA . I had gotten out of the military and was a mess. I needed hard core. I found a sponsor that was prior military officer and he was exactly what I needed at the time.
I got to comfortable and went back to drinking...
So, I should know better? All those years seem like someone else's memories.
Let me try something:
First would it be fair to say that a "want" is more of a goal?
Want: I want to have the Norman Rockwell family with happy holiday s and someday Grandkids.
Dream: live on a boat down in the Florida keys fishing and scuba diving.
This is not my first time getting sober. I can't even remember how many times I have tried. I have been drinking pre teens.
I joined the military to get away from a really rough crowd in High School. Stayed sober through Boot Camp but the military crowd was just as bad.
I was sober 9 years. Hard core AA . I had gotten out of the military and was a mess. I needed hard core. I found a sponsor that was prior military officer and he was exactly what I needed at the time.
I got to comfortable and went back to drinking...
So, I should know better? All those years seem like someone else's memories.
Let me try something:
First would it be fair to say that a "want" is more of a goal?
Want: I want to have the Norman Rockwell family with happy holiday s and someday Grandkids.
Dream: live on a boat down in the Florida keys fishing and scuba diving.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Lincolnshire, UK
Posts: 440
Originally Posted by Snarly
Let me try something:
First would it be fair to say that a "want" is more of a goal?
Want: I want to have the Norman Rockwell family with happy holiday s and someday Grandkids.
Dream: live on a boat down in the Florida keys fishing and scuba diving.
First would it be fair to say that a "want" is more of a goal?
Want: I want to have the Norman Rockwell family with happy holiday s and someday Grandkids.
Dream: live on a boat down in the Florida keys fishing and scuba diving.
Want: To see my son go off to Uni without worrying about me and visiting him wherever he sets up home after Uni and having a laugh together. Him introducing me to his partner and his family without being embarrassed. Passing my degree.
Dream: Driving a Disney World bus (and waving to Snarly and his family on their boat as we drive down to Key West on holiday)
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