Job Hunting Aversion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 122
Job Hunting Aversion
Does anyone else here suffer from this?
I'm trying to get a better job, but reading the job listings and updating my resume and all that is so demoralizing. The process evokes in me feelings of worthlessness and worry. It always makes me feel lost.
I'm trying to get a better job, but reading the job listings and updating my resume and all that is so demoralizing. The process evokes in me feelings of worthlessness and worry. It always makes me feel lost.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hi Tree,
I have changed jobs a few times recently, so I know what you mean. I don't think it's the job search per se, but once you know something big is going to change in your life then you may feel like you are in limbo until that happens. My AV always caught me on that one, but that was before I understood this.
You understand it too so I know you will be ok, AV doesn't stand a chance. Finding a new job can take time, but I see this as you trying to improve your life, so if anything you should feel all the more worthwhile.
Best of luck with your search!
P
I have changed jobs a few times recently, so I know what you mean. I don't think it's the job search per se, but once you know something big is going to change in your life then you may feel like you are in limbo until that happens. My AV always caught me on that one, but that was before I understood this.
You understand it too so I know you will be ok, AV doesn't stand a chance. Finding a new job can take time, but I see this as you trying to improve your life, so if anything you should feel all the more worthwhile.
Best of luck with your search!
P
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Originally Posted by Treebeard 
Does anyone else here suffer from this?
AND I would put morale-boosting stuff in there. On the inside cover of mine I glued a big photo of Eleanor Roosevelt, who had a lot to say, from personal experience, about facing and overcoming fear. Brainyquote.com has breathtaking photos with inspiring quotes on them, and I'd print those and cut them out and stick them in there. Funny stuff, too, because you have to keep your sense of humor.
I really needed to seek out and feed myself a steady stream of inspiring messages.
Believe in yourself -- you CAN do it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
The fear of rejection is a real thing, to the point of feeling paralysed into doing nothing.
I learnt through Sobriety to see what happens, what have I got to loose, better to be rejected than wonder how things would or could have been.
We all have our strengths, we may not know what they are sometimes but they are there, we all have something to add, to life, to a job, to our community, we have to find the confidence to somehow say, well why is anyone else better than me just by default?
I applied for a new job 1 year into my Sobriety, something I would never have done when drinking because I kept putting myself down, didn't think I had any potential, was happy to coast along, but I threw my hat in the ring for a job I wanted to do, convinced myself I could do it, started to focus on what I could offer, applied and after many times thinking I can't do this after the interview, a presentation, and many other stages . . . finally got the job!!
Believe in yourself and doors will open!!
I learnt through Sobriety to see what happens, what have I got to loose, better to be rejected than wonder how things would or could have been.
We all have our strengths, we may not know what they are sometimes but they are there, we all have something to add, to life, to a job, to our community, we have to find the confidence to somehow say, well why is anyone else better than me just by default?
I applied for a new job 1 year into my Sobriety, something I would never have done when drinking because I kept putting myself down, didn't think I had any potential, was happy to coast along, but I threw my hat in the ring for a job I wanted to do, convinced myself I could do it, started to focus on what I could offer, applied and after many times thinking I can't do this after the interview, a presentation, and many other stages . . . finally got the job!!
Believe in yourself and doors will open!!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
I burned so many bridges during my relapse that even a helicopter couldn't get me close to where I was professionally. It truly was and remains a mess.
To top it off, my now XGF is also a psychologist, and we knew/know many of the same people. Although she never was a vindictive person, II doubt she had anything good to say about me after I destroyed our relationship. To top it all off, her therapist was a professor of ours in grad school, and knows/is friends with people I know/knew, some of whom I worked for/with.
It took me two years just to get a teaching job in my field, while I was working with a few patients in a friend's practice. I didn't literally look for work that I wanted to do when I got sober again in 2011 every single day, but it was pretty close to that. I kept busy by improving myself and other parts of my life. I'm not very good at sitting down or standing still when I feel that something needs to be done, and there's always something that needs to be done.
Five years later, I got the job I was looking for. I don't have any advice except to say never give up. All the other work I'd been doing on and for myself prepared me fort the interview of my life. And I do mean of my life. He was very happy with my skills before he met me, but it was my genuine passion for the work that was most compelling. That's what he told me, and I know it before he even made an offer.
To paraphrase, maybe even butcher, John Lennon, life is what happens when you're busy doing other things.
To top it off, my now XGF is also a psychologist, and we knew/know many of the same people. Although she never was a vindictive person, II doubt she had anything good to say about me after I destroyed our relationship. To top it all off, her therapist was a professor of ours in grad school, and knows/is friends with people I know/knew, some of whom I worked for/with.
It took me two years just to get a teaching job in my field, while I was working with a few patients in a friend's practice. I didn't literally look for work that I wanted to do when I got sober again in 2011 every single day, but it was pretty close to that. I kept busy by improving myself and other parts of my life. I'm not very good at sitting down or standing still when I feel that something needs to be done, and there's always something that needs to be done.
Five years later, I got the job I was looking for. I don't have any advice except to say never give up. All the other work I'd been doing on and for myself prepared me fort the interview of my life. And I do mean of my life. He was very happy with my skills before he met me, but it was my genuine passion for the work that was most compelling. That's what he told me, and I know it before he even made an offer.
To paraphrase, maybe even butcher, John Lennon, life is what happens when you're busy doing other things.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 249
I'm going to keep this real short. Imagine that.
I've been going on interviews for 2 years.
While I haven't landed anything permanent, I have built a nice consulting business.
Have you done anything with linked.in? This has been an amazing way to network.
If you haven't - start simple.
Set up your account and search for anyone you know. The key is to endorse them for skills you know they have. Give something - get something.
Next look at how you "network" overlaps and it can rapidly expand.
Try it and let me know how it goes!
I've been going on interviews for 2 years.
While I haven't landed anything permanent, I have built a nice consulting business.
Have you done anything with linked.in? This has been an amazing way to network.
If you haven't - start simple.
Set up your account and search for anyone you know. The key is to endorse them for skills you know they have. Give something - get something.
Next look at how you "network" overlaps and it can rapidly expand.
Try it and let me know how it goes!
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Making a change in jobs is a serious change in life. It all starts with deciding to make the change - that decision rarely comes lightly and comes when you feel like you have hit a dead end and need to get out. But this can be gradual, unlike losing your job. Then it is overwhelming, confusing and difficult to process all at once and you have insecurity, feelings of low self worth, and fear of how you are going to survive.
The act of searching for a job can be downright difficult, demoralizing and spirit crushing. It is a tough world out there with hundreds of candidates vying for the same job. But it is not impossible.
I have spent the last ten years doing career coaching as a side job. I write really effective resumes and I have helped many people find their new path. In all my years doing this there have been a handful of suggestions that I share with everyone.
1. Treat job hunting as your job. Show up at your desk ready to work at 8 am (fully dressed), break for lunch, and then clock off after 8 hours. No interruptions, no goofing off online, no personal calls, and no housework. Work 8 hours on finding a new job, changing your career, learning a new trade.
2. When writing your resume, quantify everything you can. As a hiring manager I don't care to read that you met sales goals every quarter. This could mean anything. I care when I see that you sold 1 million widgets in the 1st quarter bringing in a 10% profit increase to your division and making you the top salesman 3 quarters in a row. Sounds a bit better there doesn't it?
3. You have to tailor your resume to the specific job opening. You can't have one resume and send that out to any and all postings. Take the job opening and align your resume. Make sure your resume uses the same language, make sure all the requirements from the listing are met in your resume, make sure you have the right keywords. Tailor everything!
4. Do not assume that a company lists all their jobs on Monster. Some companies only list on their websites, some in trade publications, some only internally to their own employees. You have to be a detective, seek and you shall find. Read news articles and email the person mentioned, quoted or interviewed. Present your qualifications and ask for a meeting. Find out who the department head is and cold call him and introduce yourself. Read the financial papers and find notable items like new products, services, profit increase, new management appointments etc and then find a contact and email them to discuss. In order to get anywhere with unlisted job opportunities is to be proactive.
5. Every single person you meet is a possible contact to a job opening, a potential opening, a new business associate, or an in to a company. Everyone. Carry business cards and give them out. You never know who knows someone looking for YOU.
Well that was longwinded.. sorry about that! I saw you were down and I wanted to help. I love this subject and can talk about it all day. Hope a little helps you.
The act of searching for a job can be downright difficult, demoralizing and spirit crushing. It is a tough world out there with hundreds of candidates vying for the same job. But it is not impossible.
I have spent the last ten years doing career coaching as a side job. I write really effective resumes and I have helped many people find their new path. In all my years doing this there have been a handful of suggestions that I share with everyone.
1. Treat job hunting as your job. Show up at your desk ready to work at 8 am (fully dressed), break for lunch, and then clock off after 8 hours. No interruptions, no goofing off online, no personal calls, and no housework. Work 8 hours on finding a new job, changing your career, learning a new trade.
2. When writing your resume, quantify everything you can. As a hiring manager I don't care to read that you met sales goals every quarter. This could mean anything. I care when I see that you sold 1 million widgets in the 1st quarter bringing in a 10% profit increase to your division and making you the top salesman 3 quarters in a row. Sounds a bit better there doesn't it?
3. You have to tailor your resume to the specific job opening. You can't have one resume and send that out to any and all postings. Take the job opening and align your resume. Make sure your resume uses the same language, make sure all the requirements from the listing are met in your resume, make sure you have the right keywords. Tailor everything!
4. Do not assume that a company lists all their jobs on Monster. Some companies only list on their websites, some in trade publications, some only internally to their own employees. You have to be a detective, seek and you shall find. Read news articles and email the person mentioned, quoted or interviewed. Present your qualifications and ask for a meeting. Find out who the department head is and cold call him and introduce yourself. Read the financial papers and find notable items like new products, services, profit increase, new management appointments etc and then find a contact and email them to discuss. In order to get anywhere with unlisted job opportunities is to be proactive.
5. Every single person you meet is a possible contact to a job opening, a potential opening, a new business associate, or an in to a company. Everyone. Carry business cards and give them out. You never know who knows someone looking for YOU.
Well that was longwinded.. sorry about that! I saw you were down and I wanted to help. I love this subject and can talk about it all day. Hope a little helps you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 249
Lightning Bug:
Where were you 2 years ago! Part of my severance was career counseling and they took weeks to get me through what you just shared!
Guys this is some AMAZING advice and very expensive if you go through a service such as Lightning Bug provides.
Print this out - heck print a few out. Highlight each stage and keep a binder as well as daily log of activity. If you are applying for any unemployment benefits, that log may make you eligible for extended benefits.
Lightning Bug - truly we are not worthy!
Where were you 2 years ago! Part of my severance was career counseling and they took weeks to get me through what you just shared!
Guys this is some AMAZING advice and very expensive if you go through a service such as Lightning Bug provides.
Print this out - heck print a few out. Highlight each stage and keep a binder as well as daily log of activity. If you are applying for any unemployment benefits, that log may make you eligible for extended benefits.
Lightning Bug - truly we are not worthy!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,574
hi Treebeard -- I know the feeling ... I'm job hunting right now and it is a challenging thing to do! Even when it's going well, I'm susceptible to some negative self-talk about it. I posted here on SR and got some good support.
Lightning Bug shared some excellent advice there. I started to feel a lot better when I added some structure to my day, got dressed and worked at it a set number of hours per day (I didn't do 8, but I did do at least 4 hrs/day). I made a list of people to contact and specific tasks and just chipped away at it every day. It improved my mood greatly, and has paid off with some good interviews that may result in an offer.
Best wishes with your search.
Lightning Bug shared some excellent advice there. I started to feel a lot better when I added some structure to my day, got dressed and worked at it a set number of hours per day (I didn't do 8, but I did do at least 4 hrs/day). I made a list of people to contact and specific tasks and just chipped away at it every day. It improved my mood greatly, and has paid off with some good interviews that may result in an offer.
Best wishes with your search.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 122
Thanks for the terrific advice, everyone. Your input was especially helpful, .Lightning Bug.
I was feeling depressed most of the day because of yesterday's job search time. It hits me deep. Fortunately, I am currently employed, so I can kinda take my time with it, and hopefully make it into a healing exercise. It sure is hard, tho.
I was feeling depressed most of the day because of yesterday's job search time. It hits me deep. Fortunately, I am currently employed, so I can kinda take my time with it, and hopefully make it into a healing exercise. It sure is hard, tho.
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