pSyChOiRiSh

Hello everyone. I'm VERY new to this sitem and to this whole trying to b sober thing. Let me explain the title a little. The new part is pretty much self explained. I'm scared because the relapse seems inevitable. I'm desperate because I want to be sober so bad but I can't seem to get there. I make is for a couple days but then I find a reason (excuse) to use. I just get so depressed and hopeless. I have a son to tak we care of and I can't be a father when I get that sick. It gets to the point the where I feel like I can't do enough or what I can do isn't good enough. I'm on day 2 right now and the demons are screaming inside me to go get something. So... please help.

january161992

desperation is a great place to be

from step 1 in the book 12 steps/ 12 traditions


Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.'s remaining eleven steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry the A.A.'s message to the next sufferer? No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn't care for this prospect - unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself.

God bless

VirginiaWoof

Welcome to the forum.

You used a very pertinent word in your post - excuse. We don't have reasons to drink, we make excuses to drink.

These are some posts that somebody reminded me of when I started Day 1 (again) on Monday. They are worth setting aside the time to read them.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5314914

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

As well as that though, keep checking in here. The people are supportive and lovely.

Zanna

Hi Psy and to SR. You've found a great forum, with lots of ideas and support Some people go to AA and others don't. I personally find SR more valuable, but that's me. I'm a very private person and SR is here 24/7 which suits me a lot better
Great to meet you!

MIRecovery

For me willpower was never enough. It took professional treatment and AA and willpower

sugarangel

Please don't be scared. I was too when I came here. I am only on day 5, and I'm still scared and depressed, but I'm here, and things are getting a little better. Just hang in there, come here lots and post and read. It helped me not focus so much on the fear, pain, and anxiety. You can do this. Someone told me just the other day here that I never ever had to feel this way again. I really like that idea.
Good luck. It will be ok. Really. One thing at a time.

sugarangel

Btw, day 2 is really good. Be proud of that. That's 48 whole hours of not using. Awesome!

Soberwolf

Relapse is not inevitable it is a part of addiction it is nothing to do with recovery so know that & stick around stay sober & reach out anytime you need to

Welcome & nice to meet you

MrPL

Hi psy,

The first days feel exactly like that for all of us. I promise you that if you hang in there for a few more days things will get a lot easier and you will be able to work on building a happy sober life.

Stay strong, post here as much as you need to, you can do this!

P

pSyChOiRiSh

Thank you everyone. Idk if I'm evendors in the right forum thread. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a heroin addict. My mind is spinning at this point. If I'm in the wrong thread, I apologize. I kinda just reached out to the firat thread I found that sounded even a little pertinent to my situation. I deeply appreciate the words of comfort and support. I am also trying to follow the advice given. Plz, keep it coming. I can't see thru the fog of wanting a fix right now and I have to goto work tonight. I'm sick as hell and am worried about being sent home or confronted about it.

Snarly

Hi pSy,

Welcome. I'm Snarly and only a couple of days ahead of you. I also found this site at a time of desperation.

Personally, my choice has been alcohol. Only thing stopping me from doing more than that and maybe a few other things was I know I am I obsessive and have a hard time doing anything in moderation.

At least I was able to control alcohol until my little world collapsed. Binge drinking led my body to tell me I had to stop. Doctors confirmed it.

I unfortunately lost all contact with my two kids. Court and Child Services got involved. That is what hurts the most. I am constantly thinking of the pain I cause them daily.

Please take care of yourself. Have you considered having your son stay with a friend or relative while you go through at least first few days? Your his hero regardless of how you feel about yourself at the moment.

Just my opinion.

Hope you stick around.

Snarly (that's me getting virtually wacked: booze= Bad Stuff WILL happen

fred59

heroin withdrawal at work might be impossible, so if you pull that off great job. You might need professional help, please get the help needed so you can be a father or you might miss out on a great experience. Good luck keep posting let us know how you are doing.

rubythrill

I am scared and desperate too. You are not alone. I have never done heroin, but was physically addicted to prescription pain pills, and I know how the withdrawal may feel... I can imagine heroin withdrawal doesn't come close to what I went through. My husband was also an addicted to them, and was basically my provider, and I had to leave him and move in with my parents to get clean from them. If there is a hell. Going through withdrawal would be it. Now I am desperate to overcome my alcoholism. Let's get sober together.

uncorked

Hi there, when I was in rehab there were a lot of people with heroin addictions. I don't know much about the withdrawal factor tho, can you go see your doctor? Don't be nervous, they see this stuff all the time. At least detox safely. Relapse is NOT inevitable. You have a son to live for.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum pSyChOiRiSh!!

sugarangel

You are in the right place. No worries. There is also a substance abuse forum here that is really good.
Like you I am an opiate addict, so I understand. Truly. If you can hang in there a couple more days, a lot of the confusion in your head. The sweats and chills and pain will all lessen. Sleeping and eating are personally the hardest for me. I am going on 5 days of no opiates and it's starting to get better. Right now it just sux I know. Hang in there and come down and post in the sub abuse forum if you want. I post here and there. It helps. Really.
From one opiate addict to another...just hold on. It will pass. And if you are too sick to work, then maybe you could call in? I couldn"t get out of bed until today w/o wanting to die. So be careful with yourself. Wd's are hard, man. I get it.
Here if you want to talk. Keep posting. Anywhere.

Dee74

Hi and welcome aboard pSyChOiRiSh

The is the Newcomers Forum, and it's open to everyone new, so you're in the right place, don't worry

My drug wasn't heroin either but coming here to SR was a real game changer for me.

It stopped me from those thoughts a few days in that maybe it would be different this time, or maybe I overreacted...

seeing the reality of my addiction, and other peoples addiction, in print helped remind me it was a real problem.

The support I found here helped me turned my life around, so I know w can help you too.

Do also check out our Substance Abuse forum, you'll find more support there as well

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

D

REsoberALITY

Hello and Welcome. How are you doing? You're in an amazing community here. Post as often as you feel the need. Wishing you well today.

shirlygirly

Glad you're here, psy. SR is great for support. Though opiates weren't my drug of choice, they were the drug of choice for many of my friends. Most sought help from a medical professional to help them enter recovery. Have you thought about talking to your doctor? Either way there are so many options--doctor or no doctor--so don't give up! You can do this for both you and your son.

Delilah1

Welcome to SR! Most of us on this site have been exactly where you are today. First, great job getting through the first two days. You can definitely do this, the first few days/weeks are a little tough, but as time builds you will feel better physically and mentally.

Looking forward to seeing you on here!

❤️ Delilah