Scarlett

Well as the topic line says, I FINALLY went to my first meeting. I was so scared my knees were knocking. The first person to meet us, my husband and I, said, we give hugs here and proceeded to give me this huge bear hug. I found it a little uncomfortable as I didn't know this man. But I went in anyway. PRAISE GOD THAT I DID. This same man spoke to my heart without knowing it. He said things that made more sense to me than anyone has in years. But what struck me the most was the people and their humility. They are truly grateful just to be drug free. All other things seemed to take a back seat to that. And that is what I want to feel. But there was one man there who said, and I'm probably quoting him wrong, "my disease doesn't want me to let any of you know me". Oh my goodness he took the words right out of my brain. This diesase of addiction has told me to isolate myself and TO KEEP VERY QUIET, lest anyone disapprove of me. But no more. I will listen, learn, read, weap, speak or whatever the hell else it takes to recover. I know this isn't going to be easy. But, I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of me just walking in the door. I got a list of other area meetings and am planning on going to one tomorrow night. But I have to be careful saying that because if I don't go I get very mad at myself and dip back into self pity. So, as it is now, I'm going. Thank you so much for letting my share this with you. I didn't speak in this meeting tonight. And I just feel so many emotions right now I don't know where to put them. THANK YOU Scarlett

Cassy

I`m really happy for you, Scarlett! Gotta log off, but best of luck!