SinkingFeeling9

Hi, I'm an alcoholic, battle with it for a very long time. I went on a binge, always my style of drinking. Almost a week long, and haven't had a drink in about 30 hours. I've called out 2 days in a row. And I'm about to do a 3rd day, because I feel like I need to get to the hospital. For some reason, I feel very dehydrated and can't sleep, the shakes of course. I just always hate going to the hospital and I feel like I've already lost my job, because I do this a lot. I'm just terrified of the future, and thought it might make me feel better about becoming sober, if I finally said something on here. I lurk a lot. Thanks for listening

AnvilheadII

welcome. i hope you do what is necessary for your health and well being!

SinkingFeeling9

Thanks, I just need to get over the hump, I think work scares me, but if I call our medical leave team, I might be able to get away with doing a proper detox. I'm just very embarrassed, so I don't know what to say or how to begin, But clearly, cold turkey isn't working

Smarie78

Can you get yourself to a meeting or have a friend from the program you can call? If you feel terrified of the future, find an AA meeting in your area somewhere. I am not an alcoholic but my partner is. When I was at my lowest and most frightened, I found the rooms of Alanon and felt like I finally had some hope and was not alone in this. I pray for you, but the first step is getting yourself to a meeting and finding that inspiration. Best of luck to you.

Ooona

Hey there and welcome to SR!

If you arent feeling well or feeling the need, please reach out for medical assistance asap! alcohol withdrawl can be very dangerous, even life threatening and thats the first priority right now.

Be safe! And come back here and let us help you through this!

On The Road

Sinking

The good news is that all of that crap can go away when you stop drinking. Please get yourself some help so you can break the vicious cycle. You can do this.

fred59

please stop drinking get into recovery, don't worry about the future or what you have done in the past get help and live the life of sobriety keep posting let us know how you are doing.

SinkingFeeling9

Thanks you guys so much. I went to my car to see if I could get myself some gatorade or something, and all the lights came on, I think it's the universe's way of telling me to get myself some help.

Sadly, I don't have many friends to this new area I moved to. Especially not any of them know I drink as heavy as I do. My mom has always taken me to the hospital, or anywhere when I needed to go, she's the only one thats seen my heavy drinking and had to deal with the detox part. I feel like if I call her and ask for help, I've let her down once again

entropy1964

Hey SF
I've been right where you are too many times to count. I get the shame, embarrassment and fear. However if you keep going down the path you have been you simply will be lower and lower. Asking for help, surrendering to the fact that your life isn't working, requires courage. Stop now, go to the hospital and the likelyhood of losing your job is less than it will be if you keep going.

I checked into rehab/detox 6 weeks ago and don't regret it. Hang in there and good luck.

ReadyAtLast

Welcome to SR. don't let shame and fear keep you drinking. There are people who are able to help. Here on SR you'll get great support but practical help including medical help will probably be a great support for you now too.

Best to go on medical leave and get a proper detox than be sacked for not turning up at work or being drunk at work. You're facing your problems which is a great thing and people will respect that.

Sending you strength and support.

Dee74

Welcome to the posting side of things sinkingfeeling
some good advice here already.

wanting not to bother people or let them down is noble in one way - but if it stops us getting the help we need, maybe it's not so noble after all?

D

Hevyn

Sinking - we've all done similar things. We would never judge you. I'm glad you're here to talk about what's going on. We understand and care.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum SinkingFeeling!!

SinkingFeeling9

Just wanted to share my day. Got on a home detox, plus medical leave from work to get myself together. I'm very fortunate and I wanna say I really appreciate everyone who responded. I can't wait to update u with my further success

Hevyn

That's great news. Please do let us know how it's going. We care about you.

SinkingFeeling9

Thanks so much! I'm doing better. I feel like my brain is coming back to life, I have trouble sleeping, but meds are easing the detox. I plan on going back to work tomorrow, I don't think without the meds, I would be able to do it. The anxiety of locking myself in my room alone drinking for so long, makes it difficult to walk out the front door and deal with the world sober. But the sooner, I start to get back to normal day life, the better I will feel. Got some information on meetings to check around here...to see if I can find one I like. But I'm just resting for the night and trying to make it easiest night to relax. Trying not to think about tomorrow, one day at a time Thank you all for all your support, I feel that if it wasn't for the site, I would still be drinking, and prolonging the inevitable

REsoberALITY

Hello and welcome. I'm glad you were able to get some help with the detox. Reading on SR really helps a lot and so does posting when you feel the need for support or have questions, concerns or just need some encouragement.

Wishing you the best tonight.

D122y

Sinking,

The depth of the brain damage is impossible to gauge, but if you are like me at all, it will take many months of suffering to get to a place of nearly continued comfort.

I did my healing med free and it probably caused more ptsd. But, now clean 16 months i have memories burned in my brain to remind me to never drink again.

We are all addicts. It is more than messing up again. It is a chronic condition. Addict for life.

jodc

Welcome stinking feeling!

I love love love how you said:
"I can't wait to update you with my further success"!!!
I'm so happy for you!

Smarie78

Yay! Great news! Remember how you are feeling today and if you should find yourself on another bad day, remember this and the way things turned around the very next day when you felt it was doomed. Every day is a new opportunity. hugs!