Alcoholic ex-boyfriend refuses to leave
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 1
Alcoholic ex-boyfriend refuses to leave
I broke up with my on again, off again boyfriend a few days ago. He's trying to convince me to try and talk, give it another go, all the normal things that typically cause me to cave in, but I'm doing my best to stand my ground.
He has stints of drinking to excess. Once hospitalized, he blew a .364
He was sober-ish for 2 two months (no AA), and claimed he didn't care about drinking. So, we rented a room in a house, where we are now both on the lease. When we moved in, there were his favorite liquor bottles on top of the fridge. Within a week of living there, he began drinking and hiding he was doing so. I can't hope he will change anymore. He says he realizes now he needs to drink responsibly and he drinks way more than the average person.
He works as a consultant, and makes more money than I do (as of the last month), but says he won't move out of a place he just moved into, and his income isnt reliable.
He said I should move out, for I'm the one giving up on us. Mind you, everything
"we" moved in here is mine, including my ceramics studio, which I produce professionally.
We lived together before, had a 2 year lease, and I left after a year. He was often late, and came close to eviction. He turned our home into a binge drinkers dream party house.
My rental history is terrible
Sorry if overloading info...
I just would like some advice. Our lease ends August 2017. Should I just leave and hope he pays the rent? Wait for him to leave? Talk to the landlord about it?
Thanks
He has stints of drinking to excess. Once hospitalized, he blew a .364
He was sober-ish for 2 two months (no AA), and claimed he didn't care about drinking. So, we rented a room in a house, where we are now both on the lease. When we moved in, there were his favorite liquor bottles on top of the fridge. Within a week of living there, he began drinking and hiding he was doing so. I can't hope he will change anymore. He says he realizes now he needs to drink responsibly and he drinks way more than the average person.
He works as a consultant, and makes more money than I do (as of the last month), but says he won't move out of a place he just moved into, and his income isnt reliable.
He said I should move out, for I'm the one giving up on us. Mind you, everything
"we" moved in here is mine, including my ceramics studio, which I produce professionally.
We lived together before, had a 2 year lease, and I left after a year. He was often late, and came close to eviction. He turned our home into a binge drinkers dream party house.
My rental history is terrible
Sorry if overloading info...
I just would like some advice. Our lease ends August 2017. Should I just leave and hope he pays the rent? Wait for him to leave? Talk to the landlord about it?
Thanks
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello reallydone, Welcome!!
I am sorry you find yourself here, but glad that you did find us. SR is a great place for support.
I suppose in order to address your questions, I need to ask a couple of my own: Are both your names on the lease? Have you asked him to move out and he just said "no"?
If both of your names are on the lease, then both of you would be responsible for the expense if the lease is broken or rent is not paid on time. I would take a good look at the lease document and see what it says. Talking to the landlord would be my first stop.
I haven't been in your specific situation, but others will be along soon to share their experiences.
I am sorry you find yourself here, but glad that you did find us. SR is a great place for support.
I suppose in order to address your questions, I need to ask a couple of my own: Are both your names on the lease? Have you asked him to move out and he just said "no"?
If both of your names are on the lease, then both of you would be responsible for the expense if the lease is broken or rent is not paid on time. I would take a good look at the lease document and see what it says. Talking to the landlord would be my first stop.
I haven't been in your specific situation, but others will be along soon to share their experiences.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, and welcome. Sorry you're in this situation.
Just to piggyback on Seren's post, "talk to the landlord" would be about how YOU can be released from the lease, not how to get him out. You don't have any grounds for making him leave. And, as far as I know, your ex would have to agree to having the lease put in his name alone. Maybe he'd agree to that, have you asked?
You COULD find another place and simply move, though if he doesn't pay the rent, you'd be responsible for it. And if he DOES pay the rent, he would have a claim against you for your half of the rent.
Just to piggyback on Seren's post, "talk to the landlord" would be about how YOU can be released from the lease, not how to get him out. You don't have any grounds for making him leave. And, as far as I know, your ex would have to agree to having the lease put in his name alone. Maybe he'd agree to that, have you asked?
You COULD find another place and simply move, though if he doesn't pay the rent, you'd be responsible for it. And if he DOES pay the rent, he would have a claim against you for your half of the rent.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 99
Gotta love when they refuse to leave huh? I dealt with that but it was a bit more complicated since I owned the home... Had I been able to walk away I would have.
I'd talk to the landlord and see if he'll agree to modify the lease to just you exabf
I'd talk to the landlord and see if he'll agree to modify the lease to just you exabf
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