something positive
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something positive
I'm a substitute teacher. Worked with very challenging 4th graders today. Kids from poor neighborhoods. These kids trust nobody for good reason. If you want to learn how to overcome hardships and keep fighting, work with kids like this and you will learn a lot. They are better at it than a lot of adults I know. God only knows what they are going through. Their strength, perserverance, and positive outlook on life is enough to humble anybody and really see just how lucky you are. For a while, they watched me closely, but after a while, they loosened up and we connected. These kids learned at an early age who to trust and who to avoid. They are really good at reading people well, because that's how they survive. They drove me nuts all day, but I have tremendous respect for them. Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself, I think of these little kids that show tremendous strength in overcoming challenges that most of us will never have to deal with. John
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If we are looking for ESH, these kids will give it to you. Listen to their stories, and it will change you. I've dealt with abuse as a child and have managed to work through it and have done pretty good, but these kids have experienced things much worse than what I went through, yet are able to get up every day and try to keep positive. As kids, they have no control over their lives, but somehow, they manage to fight through it and try to keep a positive attitude. If they can do it ,what excuse do I have? These little kids are my role model. Amazing what a 10 year old can teach you. They are what I hope to become. John
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Why not put the beer down and pour the rest away John?
All it's going to do is make you sad and stir up self hatred.
You do a wonderful job helping shape the minds of the next generation in a caring loving and positive way.
Why not apply some of that care and love to yourself?
D
All it's going to do is make you sad and stir up self hatred.
You do a wonderful job helping shape the minds of the next generation in a caring loving and positive way.
Why not apply some of that care and love to yourself?
D
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Sometimes I just get tired of staying sober just for me if that makes sense. I know that's important. I've said this many times before so I won't go into detail, but I have no friends or family for support or to keep me company. Sometimes, it just gets old. I'm pretty good at keeping myself busy and doing what I can to enjoy life, but at the end of the day like now, I'm in my apartment alone. Like I said it just gets old after a while. I know this shouldn't matter but nobody cares if I drink or not. The only one that cares is me. It's like I'm trying to fool myself into believing it doesn't matter if I have nobody else around me, but it does and when I realize that, I figure, what the hell, drink. I think sometimes, drink myself to oblivion, beat the crap out of me and die. Just don't see a loss to that. I have bought a grave sight next to my mother. Sometimes it seems to make sense to join her and get some peace. I wouldn't do it on purpose, but to know that I have a chance for some quiet is appealing. I just don't understand why it's so hard for F2F support. That's why I counted on AA so much. I really needed that connection. I see people at the gym I go to that go to the meeting and they just ignore me. Again, nothing bad about AA, but it was a lifeline for me. It's just being sober for me just doesn't seem to be enough sometimes. I'll finish my beers tonight and sober up tomorrow. Maybe I'll see things different. Right now it doesn't seem important. Right now, I figure my drinking will eventually kill me and I don't see a problem with that. To me, it's not a big deal. John
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That despair and that apathy are just more lies from our addiction John.
They make it easier for us to keep drinking.
I thought it was me, but when I sobered up, that despair left me.
You deserve the chance to discover that for yourself.
They make it easier for us to keep drinking.
I thought it was me, but when I sobered up, that despair left me.
You deserve the chance to discover that for yourself.
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This will probably sound wierd, but if I end up in detox or treatment, at least I'll be around people like me, and people I can talk to. I know how desperate that sounds, but drinking myself into oblivion and ending up in detox or treatment might me a blessing cause I'd at least have some company for a while. John
I felt that same despair when I was still drinking. After I got sober, I felt better about myself. Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
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John, I am sorry you are hurting so much. I know what if feels like to feel lonely and alone, it is not a nice feeling at all.
You have these kids that are depending on you and you very clearly pointed out how they learn who to trust and who not to. They can see and sense things that we think we can hide. Imagine the difference of the care and attention you provide to them wen you show up clear headed and completely sober versus showing up with a hangover or worse still slightly buzzed.
Why not check out detox and treatment options such as rehab. My true recovery started when i was finally able to detox my system from the alcohol and get intensive psychological support for a month. Not only that, but the simple (or not so simple) fact that I was cared for- 3 hot meals prepared for me each day that I was required to attend and attempt to eat, afternoon tea and biscuits delivered to my room by caring nurses, the support and concern of other addicts 24/7. I remember often not being able to sleep and going outside for a cigarette, I nearly always found someone else who also couldn't sleep. Sometimes we just sat silently together, sometimes we talked about our problems, how we were feeling, sometimes we cried and hugged. Just two addicts who understood without saying much at all.
You have these kids that are depending on you and you very clearly pointed out how they learn who to trust and who not to. They can see and sense things that we think we can hide. Imagine the difference of the care and attention you provide to them wen you show up clear headed and completely sober versus showing up with a hangover or worse still slightly buzzed.
Why not check out detox and treatment options such as rehab. My true recovery started when i was finally able to detox my system from the alcohol and get intensive psychological support for a month. Not only that, but the simple (or not so simple) fact that I was cared for- 3 hot meals prepared for me each day that I was required to attend and attempt to eat, afternoon tea and biscuits delivered to my room by caring nurses, the support and concern of other addicts 24/7. I remember often not being able to sleep and going outside for a cigarette, I nearly always found someone else who also couldn't sleep. Sometimes we just sat silently together, sometimes we talked about our problems, how we were feeling, sometimes we cried and hugged. Just two addicts who understood without saying much at all.
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