jdspang

I haven't been able to stop drinking even after many attempts that last a day or two. I'm drinking now. I don't want to. Nights are the worst. No one to ask how was your day, no one to smile with, no one to share a casual touch with. Alone, except for my drink. Days are fine, I can usually keep myself busy, but there's always the thought of when I can have my first drink. Sad, I know.

How was your day?

Dee74

Hi jd

My days going pretty well.

Have you thought of going to AA or some other meeting based recovery group? Not only will you find help but you will make a few contacts there, interact with other people, and maybe make a few friends into the bargain?

D

jdspang

Thanks Dee. Not a big fan of the higher power thing, more interested in how to resolve issues on a personal level.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Jdspang!!

jdspang

Many thanks.

bikube

Nice to meet you, jdspang! Nights are the absolute worst for me too. I get lonely and start to worry and ruminate over everything that I've lost. Alcohol has cost me pretty much all of the non-family friendships and relationships I had in my life, so loneliness is especially tough at the minute.
I find reading the threads on here is helping. So does AA, although I understand if it's not your thing. For me it helps because by the time my meeting ends, it's past the legal curfew to sell alcohol, so I can't slip!

REsoberALITY

Hello jdspang. My day went pretty well, thank you for asking. I've been where you are now and one thing I can say is, after almost a year of finally setting the alcohol down, it's actually easier than I ever dreamed of to work on the personal issues I have. They are by no means all "resolved" but I certainly feel like I'm headed in the right direction with them.

I know it seems hard or harder if you're alone but the funny thing for me is that I had people around that wanted to give me some of those things you're looking for and because of the alcohol, I pretty much isolated myself away from them. With alcohol in my life, i found myself alone in house full of people. Giving it up was the best thing I've done in my life.

Can you find something to go do or occupy your time in the evenings when you usually drink? Anything to distract you really..... Posting more, reading more... (Not just here, but about addiction and how it works)....? Going for a walk.... Or long drive..... Anything you used to do, that maybe you don't now because that drink is calling?

You CAN do this and you'll be amazed at the changes you'll go through the longer you stay sober.

Wishing you the best tonight..

Dee74

There are secular meeting based groups too - like SMART or LifeRing - that are big on self empowerment

D

Hevyn

Good to hear from you, JD. We all care.

Ananda

I know how hard it can be to feel lonely, but the drinking doesn't really do what we want it to do at some point. A better person than me said "start where you are". So if you are alone, please find the good in that. I have been alone for many years ...errr about 40 years lol, but the truth is that the isolation our drinking puts us in is the loneliness that hurts. It seems like the drink is your friend and makes you less alone, but it really is an illusion. Being alone has ended up being an awesomely great thing for me when I'm sober. If you can put down the drink (use a hospital or treatment center or what ever it takes), the whole word changes. Sometimes what we think sounds horrible ends up being a wonderful blessing we enjoy.

january161992

thats how i spent my twenties at home with the drapes closed

when i had enough pain i became motivated to get help

still going to aa 24 years later

God bless

jdspang

Thanks to you all: Dee, PurpleKnight. bikube, REsoberAlLITY and Hevyn. All great words to follow. It's 9:45p and I'm not passed out on the couch. You guys are great!

Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

jdspang

ananda, very true. I've learned drinking isolates me from the community-- trying hard to get back into the real world. If it still means being alone, I will be the person I can be without drink.

God bless, january.

cwood3

I'm not a big fan of surgery, but if I have a brain tumor, I'd rather have a doctor than tough it out on my own.

Sometimes, to solve a problem or issue, we have to humble up and accept help.

Linz805

I understand about being alone. I live alone and have no one here with me except my sweet dog. However, alcohol only isolated me even more! It is not your friend. It is the exact opposite. I have been going to AA and after a few months and making connections and actually have someone that checks on me daily. I hope you put the alcohol down and find what works for you and make connections with other sober people. There are plenty out there!

Quincy

Hi JD. My day was good. How about yours? It sounds like you only drink at night. What is the difference for you between the daytime and the nighttime?

Delilah1

Hi JD,

Welcome to SR! How was your day? Mine was pretty good.

Dee's advice about trying out a recovery group is good, you may meet some new friends and find support at the same time.

I'm glad you are here!

CajunPrincess

My time to drink was always at night. I had my after work ritual down to a T. I live alone (but with two cats ). I had to completely change my night routine. Once you get yourself used to doing OTHER things at night besides drinking, your body & mind kind of start getting used to it too... and it just gets easier.

VirginiaWoof

Hi JD.

Welcome to SR.

jdspang

Again, thank you all. I'm really liking replacing the time to drink routine, with another routine. Replacing one addiction with another addiction. Two days sober, with hard work filling my drinking times in the apartment with other things to do, Tuesday was a wash out, drunk, passed out again. Wednesday morning, drained the last of Tito into the sink. After work, went to the gym, 3 hrs. The need had passed after getting home. Note, magic time and rational for a drink diminishes for me as the night progresses, Thursday morning I saw glimmers of the old me. More encouragement. Thursday, later day, more of the same; saw Magnificent 7 late and home around 10p -- didn't feel the need for a drink after. Although, I did think about it a few time during the movie. Gym again today, home about now, no booze in the house... another day! Starting to feel a bit like me again.