kfa2004

Today is my birthday and it is anything but Happy. I keep trying to "get it together" and all I can do is cry. I really miss my AH today. I got an e-mail on Friday telling me that he knew our problems were both our faults and that he was not happy because he missed our kids but then going on to say that his drinking was not a problem and that everything that happened was my fault. I don't believe he is ever going to be able to admit that he has a problem, he is going to go right on blaming me for everything going wrong and that nothing ever changes. I'm really not surprised but it hurts. I have to agree that nothing ever changes but he never changes either. He is never to blame it is always my fault, my sons fault, etc. etc.

I just pray that sooner than later we all find peace.

Have a blessed day.
Kat

Lorelai

I pray that you find peace too, Kat.
Big Birthday Hugs - L

Paulie

Happy Birthday Kat I understand your sadness, but for today I want you to only think about YOU. Do something today just for you, get a massage, get your nails done, buy a new skirt, whatever big or small, something that is just for you!!!

:bparty3

cwohio

kat - sorry you're feeling so low on your birthday. you need to get out and do something for yourself for your special day and maybe this will lift your spirits. there was another thread today that talked about acceptance and how hard it is. don't let his quacking ruin YOUR day!

hugs to you on your birthday!

:bparty3

kfa2004

Thanks to all of you. I do have plans with my kids for later on today. I guess I am feeling especially low because my kids were so depressed last night and this morning. I think they were just tired but both are normally so upbeat and happy until the change along with the message from AH has me bothered.

Hugs
Kat

Rose56

Happy Birthday Kat!!! I am so glad that you were born today!! Many of my favorite people on this earth were born in October!!! A very special month. Maybe it might help to spend 10 minutes to write out all the things that are bothering you, that you are unhappy about. Just go on a great big rant. Perhaps that will help you to let it go. I understand sorrow, and sometimes we just have to be there. I pray that you can move toward joy as the day goes forward.

Sometimes it seems like nothing changes, but it's not true. If you watch nature you know that everything is constantly changing, even rocks change a little at a time. So you are changeing and so is he and the situation. But perhaps like the rocks you just can't see it right now. As long as you are moving forward, following your gameplan, the magic will happen. You are the magic..............DO something special for You!!

gelfling

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!!!!

Mine was September 25th and I was very much alone and lonely. Something I've learned to do on the morning I wake up is to celebrate with myself by singing the birthday song to myself. I've done this for the lat 4 years. It's kind of funny because on that day, it's the very first thing I think of.

Life with the alcoholic never changes, does it. They love us, accept partial blame then dump it all on us. Like I tell my husband about our son who is in recovery, I'm glad he lives 325 miles away. And I thank God I can't get into his head. Just take a second and imagine yourself inside his head and all the stuff going on and the things he's thinking and his reasoning. It's insane. It's alcoholism.

You need to take care of yourself. You're number 1. Then your children come next. Get to meetings for yourself and them. And don't forget that there is a higher power/God who is waiting to hear from you.

Love, hugs and blessings to you on your own special day.

Kathy

Veronica

Have you thought about changing your email address? It would be one less way for him to upset you. He has a problem - so don't let him think it's your fault or that you caused the his current circumstances. He did. I hope you had a great birthday!

smoke gets in my eyes

((( Kat! )))

Extra Birthday Hugs!
Smoke

kfa2004

Thank you all for your support yesterday. I made it through and today is a better day.

Gefling - Getting into his head, BOY IS THAT A SCARY THOUGHT!!!

Hugs to you all.
Kat