Step One For Chistians In Recovery

 
Old 03-23-2002, 07:41 AM
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Roven_Rev
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Post Step One For Chistians In Recovery

The Journey Begins....

STEP ONE

We admitted we were powerless over our dependencies,
that our lives had become unmanageable.

Admitting powerlessness runs contrary to many of our cultural messages that say, "Be strong! Be the master of your own destiny!" The admission of powerlessness also conflicts with the addictive message, because the addiction itself will tell us, "You have a high tolerance! Use more of me! You can handle it!"

Nevertheless, the central paradox of Step 1 is that the admission of complete defeat permits a life-transforming victory through recovery. The admission of powerlessness over an addiction actually becomes the foundation for the strength to eventually overcome the dependency.

Admitting powelessness is absolutely essential to breaking the addiction cycle, which is made up of five points:

1) Pain
2) Reaching out to an addictive agent, such as work, food, sex, alcohol, or dependent relationships to salve our pain.
3) Temporary anesthesia
4) Negative consequences
5) Shame and guilt, which result in more pain or low self-esteem.

For example, the workaholic who has low self-esteem (pain) begins to overwork (addictive agent), which results in praise, success, and achievement (relief). However, as a rule, family relationships and his personal relationship with God suffer terrible because of preoccupation with work (negative consequences). The result is an even greater sense of shame and guilt because of inadequacies, both real and imagined, which brings him back to point 1 in the addiction cycle. Now the workaholic feels compelled to work even harder to overcome his guilt.

Understanding the addiction cycle is important because it helps explain why the admission of powerlessness is the first step to recovery. Otherwise, we remain caught. If we rely on willpower alone, then the only thing we know to do is to escalate our addiction to get out of the pain. Step 1 calls us to do less -- to yield, to surrender, to let go.

Two factors that keep the addiction cycle spinning are 1) the fear of withdrawal and 2) denial.

First, in order to take Step 1, we have to move beyond the fear of stepping off the addiction cycle. We may fear withdrawal and the pain that goes with it. Doctors historically thought that withdrawal in drug addiction was mainly biochemical and physical. It is true that when the heroin addict stops taking heroin, for example, the mind and body literally rebel as they struggle to restore balance. However, addictionologists now believe that the emotional and spiritual components of withdrawal from any addiction are of far greater significance than the physiological dimensions. The workaholic, for example, goes through withdrawal when he tries to scale back work activities. The real fear in this case is probably the emotional fear of losing control. The paradox of Step 1 is that the act of surrendering addictive control will actually bring us back into a state of healthy control.

Second, we have to break out of denial about our addictions. Denial is a cloak of self-deception that blinds us and shields us from an honest assessment of our own dependencies. Some of the common denial messages with which we may delude ourselves are: "I can stop any time I want to." "Things aren't that bad." "I only practice my addiction because I want to." "When things get better (or worse!), I'll stop my addiction." We may even project blame onto someone else, saying, You make me do what I do!" All of these messages deny the force the addictions impose on our lives.

Breaking out of denial often requires a painful encounter with the consequences of our addictions, called "hitting bottom." "Hitting Bottom" forces us to admit our powerlessness over our additive life-styles. The three major "bottoms" we may hit are:

1) A physical bottom
2) An emotional bottom
3) A spiritual bottom

Common specific examples of "bottoms" that precipitate recovery include:

1) A marital crisis
2) A physical health crisis (as in the case of the workaholic who suffers a heart attack)
3) Confrontation by a family member or loved one.
4) Vocational or life-purpose crisis (a pink slip that forces one to look at one's addiction)
5) A financial crisis.
6) A spiritual crisis, a feeling of alienation from God.

The addiction cycle, as a rule, cannot be broken without yielding to a Power outside ourselves. We may have to surrender again and again, as we admit our powerlessness over, not only the primary addiction, but over various other aspects of our lives. We must recognize when we are powerless over people, places, and situations and learn to let those things go. For example, when we are caught in freeway traffic, instead of allowing anxiety and anger to build, we need to admit that we cannot alter our situation. In even the most trivial issues we face, we must learn to become flexible. We may also fine ourselves switching addictions or transferring obsessions, and we will need to apply the first step to these new dependencies as well.

For codependents, control or the lack of it, is central to every aspect of life. As we admit our powerlessness, we embark upon the antidote for our control addiction, an addiction characterized by extremes of both overcontrol and undercontrol. For example, the workaholic may overcontrol efforts to achieve and accomplish. What tends to be undercontrolled is the quality of spiritual life ant the investment of time and emotional intimacy with family members. By admitting powerlessness, he opens the door to allow God to creatre a healthy, new balance in which he can lessen the compulsive control exercised in the work arena. He can then begin to experience greater positive control over his contribution to family relationships and his creation of quality private time.

We should not be fearful that powerlessness will result in passivity. On the contrary, to admit powerlessness is to subordinate our human will to God's will so that we can become the most effective and potent instruments we were created to be.

To help you understand what the Scriptures say about admitting the unmanageability of our lives, see the following passages:

Matthew 9:36
Romans 7:18-20
Psalm 6:2-4
Psalm 31:9,10
Psalm 38:1-9
Psalm 44:15, 16
Psalm 72:12,13

Source: "Serenity" "A Companion For Twelve Step Recovery."

We have provided a Bible search engine with multiple translations to assist you in your search.

Click here http://www.donet.com/~denf/search1.htm This Bible Search will open in its own window To return, simply close the window.

May God Bless you as your journey continues...

Den

[This message has been edited by Roven_Rev (edited April 28, 2002).]
 
Old 03-30-2002, 10:44 AM
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I'd like to add a few things to the first step and some bible reading if that is alright with the staff.

Step 1
A TIME TO CHOOSE
Bible Reading: Acts 9:1-9
We admitted that we were powerless over our dependencies---that our life had become unmanageable.

There are important moments in life that can change our destiny. These are often times when we are confronted with how powerless we are over the events of our life. These moments can either destroy us or forever set the course of our life in a much better direction.
Saul of Tarsus (later called Paul; see 13:9) had such a moment. After Jesus ascension, Saul took it upon himself to rid the world of Christians. As he headed to Damascus on this mission, "a brilliant light from heaven suddenly beamed down upon him! He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, 'Saul! Saul! Why are you persecuting me?...I am Jesus, the one you are persecuting! Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you are to do'....As Saul picked himself up off the ground, he found that he was blind. So his companions led him by the hand to Damascus. He remained there blind for three days. And all that time he went without food and water" (acts 9:3-6, 8-9).
Saul was suddenly confronted with the fact that his life wasn't perfect as he had thought. Self-righteousness had been his trademark. By letting go of his illusions of power, however, he became one of the most powerful men ever--the apostle Paul. When we are confronted with the knowledge that our life isn't under control, we have a choice. We can continue in denial and self-righteousness, or we can face the fact that we have been blind to some important issues. If we become willing to be led into recovery and into a whole new way of life, we will find true power.

The Life Recovery Bible

Just for Today--------I am Sober
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Old 04-01-2002, 01:09 PM
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.. and HOW!

Some very important moments that changed my life...

the births of my children...

my divorce...

one very ugly moment at a restaurant with someone I loved...

finding this board in an attempt to fix that loved one...

going to my first Al-Anon meeting...

developing a relationship with my creator...

... and the rest of this journey I call my life.

Peace & Prayers

EyesWideOpen
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