Good things are Happening
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 121
Good things are Happening
My RAF and I were able to have a conversation regarding his family and also our feelings last night.
I've never had a conversation go so well with him in God knows how long.
I've stated in previous posts that next month I'm returning to work from mat leave. I lost my portfolio containing all my diplomas so I have to suck it up and return to my job- that I hated.
RAF's sister is going to be our babysitter. My daughter adores her and his sister is really looking forward to it. After a spat I had a month ago with RAF's mom, she's now punishing RAF's sister and doing everything she can to stop her from speaking to me including: taking her phone away (so I can't contact her), threatened to kick her out, verbal abuse, etc. I can't lose my babysitter this close to going back to work. I talked to RAF and told him that although I want nothing to do with the ridiculous drama, I'm worried it could cost us our child care. He wants nothing to do with this sillyness either. I suggested I could throw out an olive branch. For the sake of his sister and to free myself of ill will toward her and maybe her of me. I hardly want a relationship with her and RAF doesn't want much of one either but we want peace. So I threw the olive branch today. I sent an email stating I don't want to carry on with this nonsense. That she's always welcome in my home and I'd never stand in the way of her seeing her grand daughter.
We also discussed the lifestyle and attitude we are trying to obtain. Basically= drama-free, peace. My RAF says he's really been paying attention to his attitude and finds he gets angry easily. He's been cutting out the swearing even at work, and sticking to his principles of how he'd like to be. He says he feels very calm, happy and to me he's even acting very... zen. I told him I have a problem with absorbing other people's problems and letting them consume me and I don't want to live that way anymore. He agreed that although I am kind hearted, I get too involved and let other people's issues stress me out- and that he's guilty of it as well.
I never got a response from his mom but other great things have been happening.
I emailed my head of HR at my company and she called me right away. Apparently I was promoted while I was on maternity leave and will be returning to better hours, good benefits, and a pay raise and I'll only work 1 Saturday and 1 Sunday in a 5 week rotation. This is a huge deal at the company I work for.
I was also cut off from receiving childcare benefits from the government because of their mistake and now I'm receiving them again. I could sure use the help to pay for child care and extracurricular activities and contribute to my daughter's education account.
Great things finally feel like they're happening.
And if RAF's mom doesn't respond, I know I at least made peace with it.
Just wanted to share a bit of the light starting to brighten up my darkness!
I've never had a conversation go so well with him in God knows how long.
I've stated in previous posts that next month I'm returning to work from mat leave. I lost my portfolio containing all my diplomas so I have to suck it up and return to my job- that I hated.
RAF's sister is going to be our babysitter. My daughter adores her and his sister is really looking forward to it. After a spat I had a month ago with RAF's mom, she's now punishing RAF's sister and doing everything she can to stop her from speaking to me including: taking her phone away (so I can't contact her), threatened to kick her out, verbal abuse, etc. I can't lose my babysitter this close to going back to work. I talked to RAF and told him that although I want nothing to do with the ridiculous drama, I'm worried it could cost us our child care. He wants nothing to do with this sillyness either. I suggested I could throw out an olive branch. For the sake of his sister and to free myself of ill will toward her and maybe her of me. I hardly want a relationship with her and RAF doesn't want much of one either but we want peace. So I threw the olive branch today. I sent an email stating I don't want to carry on with this nonsense. That she's always welcome in my home and I'd never stand in the way of her seeing her grand daughter.
We also discussed the lifestyle and attitude we are trying to obtain. Basically= drama-free, peace. My RAF says he's really been paying attention to his attitude and finds he gets angry easily. He's been cutting out the swearing even at work, and sticking to his principles of how he'd like to be. He says he feels very calm, happy and to me he's even acting very... zen. I told him I have a problem with absorbing other people's problems and letting them consume me and I don't want to live that way anymore. He agreed that although I am kind hearted, I get too involved and let other people's issues stress me out- and that he's guilty of it as well.
I never got a response from his mom but other great things have been happening.
I emailed my head of HR at my company and she called me right away. Apparently I was promoted while I was on maternity leave and will be returning to better hours, good benefits, and a pay raise and I'll only work 1 Saturday and 1 Sunday in a 5 week rotation. This is a huge deal at the company I work for.
I was also cut off from receiving childcare benefits from the government because of their mistake and now I'm receiving them again. I could sure use the help to pay for child care and extracurricular activities and contribute to my daughter's education account.
Great things finally feel like they're happening.
And if RAF's mom doesn't respond, I know I at least made peace with it.
Just wanted to share a bit of the light starting to brighten up my darkness!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
All sounds great, kbf! You might want to suggest a book to your husband. Since you mentioned he was talking about how to "live right" and mentioned his seeming "zen," he (and you, for that matter) might get a lot out of a book I found VERY helpful in my early sobriety, "One Breath at a Time" by Kevin Griffin. Kevin is a practicing Buddhist, and the book is about the 12 Steps, through a Buddhist lens. Buddhism is not a theistic religion, so it's especially helpful for those who have an issue with the Higher Power concept in AA, but it's great for anyone who wants to build a better life in sobriety. I used it along with AA, but I know a few folks sober without AA who found it equally helpful. Kevin also does recovery retreats. I've heard him speak at a local Buddhist center, and he's a very cool guy--a musician, too.
Just a thought.
Just a thought.
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