tezktl

I have been with my bf for 1.5 years.
He was an ex-addict and was 2 years sober when we first met he was running a drug treatment facility and I was lead singer at the church we attended.
We met in Australia, He's originally from Amsterdam he is Dutch.
His Visa ran out last year and he asked me to come back to Europe with him. I moved over in April.
He was secretly drinking when he moved back and then he relapsed wholly 3 months ago with the worst relapse he's ever had.
He stole money from me among other things. I left him and told him I won't be with him if hes not sober.
He cried, begged me to stay and went into rehab.
He has very close relationships with his ex girlfriends.Something that has always been hard for me to accept.
I have trust issues due to infidelity in previous relationship.
Before he entered rehab I went into his emails/facebook and saw messages to an ex. They were quite emotional messages i was so angry I messaged her.He forgave me for this and Im not proud of going into his stuff and I have no intention of ever doing it again.
- During rehab we called everyday. Talked about when he was going to get out. How much we missed each other etc.
-He got out of rehab and we spent my two days off work together. We had a great time.
- He started to become distant and I felt it.
-he is currently in a 'midway' house to assist him in his recovery.
- I called him out on his distance and told him to tell me straight if he wants to end it or not and he text me he loves me very much but hes not ready for a relationship right now but this isnt intended to be a break up text?
- We met at the gym for a workout. I mentioned about moving in with a mutual friend, he was friends with this person before me. He blew up at me at the gym telling me to leave his friends alone and im intruding in his life and choking him. He brought up about me going into his email/facebook. I cried at the gym because he was being so nasty but he didnt seem to give a single **** about how I felt.
- He told me he needs space. I suggested we have a break. No calls/no messages unless its important.
- We agreed on the break on that Friday and meet up again at end of month to see where we are at.
-Eventhough we are on a break not hearing from him still hurts me when we would be in contact daily. I haven't contacted him either and its so hard not too. Its currently been 11 days and feels like 11 months.
I feel completely used by him. I feel he begged me to stay in Europe with him, I supported him in Rehab and now he's out he doesnt want anything to do with me. He brought me into his world and now he tells me Im intruding in it? I know I shouldnt of gone into his personal stuff and I apologised for it but I thought we had sorted that out in rehab he didnt seem phased by it only until he was out he brought it up. I forgave him for all his terrible things he done to me yet I feel its so hypocritical that he cannot forgive me for this. Im in Europe without friends and family and he knows this yet doesnt seem to care. His response was 'I need to find my own life' 'stop intruding on his', Im trying to go out and meet up with work colleagues and concentrate on me but its so hard too when I just want to cry all the time.Has this happened to anyone when their partner gets out of rehab? Was this just a phase they went through or did they never return? Feeling, used, abused and confused right now.

Ann

He wants to hang on to every relationship, that's why his ex's are still in his life.

You deserve better, this isn't going to get pretty any time soon.

I hope you see that you are the only one bringing anything to this relationship and put some time and space between you soon.

Good luck.