sadsadgirl

I'm drinking now. I drank yesterday too. I'm in bed and I'm drinking. What a pathetic waste of space I am. I feel completely pointless. How do I get off this merry go round?

Behappy1

Firstly - think of how awful you'll feel in the morning if you continue to drink. The guilt, shame, regret, shakes, anxiety, nausea, the red face, the hungover eyes.

Secondly, dump out what you have. Make some tea, get in the shower, binge on Netflix or a book until you recoup. Then when you feel better, make a plan.

We all have btdt. Don't drink what you have left. It's not worth it. At all.

grocerease

Your reaching out to us now so the first thing would be to dump the poison down the sink. It's not easy to break the addiction but you really have to just say"enough of this misery!" Find support through the many available options. Ex. AA, Smart, SR, reading recovery books, get friends involved. Exercise always seemed to help me too. You can do this but you can't just wish it will go away.... It will take work. Dump it out, take a nap, and wake up and rock out sobriety!

Darwinia

You sound lonely. If you are AA is a good option. People face to face who understand exactly how you feel now. If you do not want people try not drinking for an hour, and then another hour, and then another. Eat ice cream. Sugar is a fabulous short term solution.

doggonecarl

If you can't remove alcohol from your life, perhaps you need to remove yourself from the ability to attain it. Detox and in-patient rehab. With some sobriety under your belt, you can start the recovery work needed to stay sober.

ScottFromWI

First you stop drinking. If you can't physically do that today by pouring out what you have left, I'd suggest calling the local AA hotline or your doctor to see if a local detox facility is available. There's plenty of things you can do once you get sobered up, but take things one step at a time. Call someone that can come help you if you cannot do it yourself.

fgo

ssg,
I know you want sobriety. I agree with doggonecarl, maybe it is time to look at other optons, you have to do what it takes. You know we support you.

entropy1964

You are not a pathetic waste of space. Although your addiction would love to keep you thinking that. That way you'll keep drinking. Challenge those core beliefs....they are not accurate. They are not YOU. Your thinking and emotions drive your behavior. Change your thinking and you can ultimately change the behavior.

I was right where you are only 33 days ago. I bought a box of wine, pulled the bag out, stuck a straw in it and drank (that was the end of the 2 week bender....so lots of alcohol was consumed). When the anxiety set in I went to the ER. Then I checked into rehab...I needed this to halt the obsession to drink. I am now in IOP, AA and counseling. I am in a completely different space.

Don't be afraid to take drastic measures to stop. You can do this.

Bunny211

I was like you. I lost the power of choice. I didn't know how to NOT drink. People would say "Don't drink, go to meetings and ask for help" and I was like "HOW DO I NOT DRINK!!!!!!!" This disease is insane. It is not logical. I was a chronic relapser for 2 years. I'm now 16 months sober. Here's what you need to do: You need to go to detox, then inpatient rehab for a few months (stay as long as you can), get a sponsor, and start working the steps.

I've been where you are. It's a horrible place to be. Sending you hugs.

Anna

You've gotten lots of good advice here, sadsadgirl. You've also done the right thing by coming here and posting. We do understand how hard this is.

Do whatever you have to do to stop drinking right now. We're here for you.

Soberwolf

Well your obviously not happy drinking & this is where we draw the line & say I'm not doing this no more

Stick close to us x

january161992

i relate

i got an apartment after high school drapes closed alone and tried to drink myself to death

after 11 years i went to aa and got help

God bless

Elle126

Hi sad girl. Have sent you a pm please let us know in the August class how you are doing, we are all very concerned for you. Hugs. Elle 🙏

Pinky1

Oh sadsadgirl sending hugs to you
Take care x

Dee74

Hi sadsadgirl

I remember that despair - but there can be life after quitting - and it's a good one.

Is rehab an option for you? It might give you a good headstart.

If not, have you tried AA or one of the other meeting based recovery groups like SMART or LifeRing?

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players, including but not limited to AA:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

Try not to lose heart Sadsadgirl.

I believe anyone can get sober and stay that way with the right support, the right changes in their life and the desire for change

MrPL

Hi ssg,

I am sorry you are struggling, but this is no easy task. I have seen so much positivity coming from you only a few weeks ago, those posts are the real you, not the sadness, anxiety and negativity that alcohol brings to your life.

The choice is yours, it may not seem like it, especially from where you stand now, but it really is. Make the right choice, stop drinking now, consider the suggestions everyone here made and soon the real you will take over again.

We are here for you.

P

melki

You truly have a choice. In your heart of hearts you know what you should do. Stop now and go from there, one hour, one day at a time.

You never have to feel this way again.

Elicia08

((((((SSG)))))) Oh sweetie... I'm so sorry you are struggling so badly. I struggled like you are for the last year or so if my drinking--waking up sick and hungover, promising myself that today would be the day and I wouldn't drink, making it until 3:00, 4:00, sometimes 5:00 and finding myself with the drink in my hand again, having no idea how to stop. Then one day I just had enough. My first day without a drink I really didn't intend to stop forever, or even for an extended period of time... I just wanted to go one damn day without a drink. I made it through that day--it was ugly. Crying, shaking, sweating, feeling like my heart was gonna explode with anxiety, dreading the moment when I would have to try to go to sleep, knowing it would likely be one of the hardest nights of my life--but I made it through. The next morning I thought, "Okay. I made it through one day. I'm gonna try for one more." I have continued to do that the last 44 days. Tomorrow I intend to do it again. You can too!! As others have said, perhaps it's time to get more help? I did rehab the first time I got sober. It was the best thing I could've possibly done for myself. I know it's easy to say, "I can't do rehab. I've got this and this and that to do and these people who are counting on me, etc. etc.". The sad truth is, though, if you don't get help you won't be able to do anything because you'll just be stuck in the bottle. Do this for you, sweet girl. We are here for you every step of the way...

And please post something just so we know you're okay....

sadsadgirl

Hi everyone, I'm back on day 1 again. I followed your advice and poured the rest out. I then just slept. I feel so anxious today. But I feel quite resolute. This is my last ever day one. I'm going to do everything in my power to stop. I have looked at my plan and tweaked it. I need to structure in my day. I need to work hard. I need to do this to get some pride back in myself.

MrPL

Good call SSG. You will get there, I know it. I am sure that by sometime next week you will star feeling positive again, then it is really just a matter of building up on that, working out what is driving positivity and doing more and more of that, which will inevitably help you stay away from drinking.

I recommend you read LBrain's thread about called The Cycle, he puts it in a very clear way how important this "last day 1 thought is".

Hope you have a nice day.

P