Day1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
Day 1
The last time I posted here I was so excited and pumped about starting the day 1 journey of getting physically fit and sober. I had some positive words of encouragement, but also "encouragement" that felt like what I was doing just wasn't good enough. I went from excited to very discouraged.
After that I decided I wasn't coming back to SR, but I need SR. To answer the question of what support I'm going to have to help in this journey. The answer is SR. I have reached out to people I know with no success. I don't want to go to AA.
I have already made some life changes just by getting out of the house some, joining a gym, signed up for a 60 day challenge yesterday and am going to church. (I wanted to do a boot camp fitness center, but my knee said no.) Last tuesday I officially broke it off with the toxic relationship I have been in for years.
I'm going to do some research, using some tools and links received during prior times here, so I can figure out what to do when the urge to drink hits. 5 pm is the hardest for me because that's when I usually start drinking for the night. Tonight I have a 6 pm meeting at the gym so that will help.
Please feel free to encourage me, but I am still a bit fragile emotionally. Deciding to make this day 1 and losing what I considered my one and only real friend is tough. So please be gentle with your words if you don't mind.
After that I decided I wasn't coming back to SR, but I need SR. To answer the question of what support I'm going to have to help in this journey. The answer is SR. I have reached out to people I know with no success. I don't want to go to AA.
I have already made some life changes just by getting out of the house some, joining a gym, signed up for a 60 day challenge yesterday and am going to church. (I wanted to do a boot camp fitness center, but my knee said no.) Last tuesday I officially broke it off with the toxic relationship I have been in for years.
I'm going to do some research, using some tools and links received during prior times here, so I can figure out what to do when the urge to drink hits. 5 pm is the hardest for me because that's when I usually start drinking for the night. Tonight I have a 6 pm meeting at the gym so that will help.
Please feel free to encourage me, but I am still a bit fragile emotionally. Deciding to make this day 1 and losing what I considered my one and only real friend is tough. So please be gentle with your words if you don't mind.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
Day1
The last time I posted here I was so excited and pumped about starting the day 1 journey of getting physically fit and sober. I had some positive words of encouragement, but also "encouragement" that felt like what I was doing just wasn't good enough. I went from excited to very discouraged.
After that I decided I wasn't coming back to SR, but I need SR. To answer the question of what support I'm going to have to help in this journey. The answer is SR. I have reached out to people I know with no success. I don't want to go to AA.
I have already made some life changes just by getting out of the house some, joining a gym, signed up for a 60 day challenge yesterday and am going to church. (I wanted to do a boot camp fitness center, but my knee said no.) Last tuesday I officially broke it off with the toxic relationship I have been in for years.
I'm going to do some research, using some tools and links received during prior times here, so I can figure out what to do when the urge to drink hits. 5 pm is the hardest for me because that's when I usually start drinking for the night. Tonight I have a 6 pm meeting at the gym so that will help.
Please feel free to encourage me, but I am still a bit fragile emotionally. Deciding to make this day 1 and losing what I considered my one and only real friend is tough. So please be gentle with your words if you don't mind.
After that I decided I wasn't coming back to SR, but I need SR. To answer the question of what support I'm going to have to help in this journey. The answer is SR. I have reached out to people I know with no success. I don't want to go to AA.
I have already made some life changes just by getting out of the house some, joining a gym, signed up for a 60 day challenge yesterday and am going to church. (I wanted to do a boot camp fitness center, but my knee said no.) Last tuesday I officially broke it off with the toxic relationship I have been in for years.
I'm going to do some research, using some tools and links received during prior times here, so I can figure out what to do when the urge to drink hits. 5 pm is the hardest for me because that's when I usually start drinking for the night. Tonight I have a 6 pm meeting at the gym so that will help.
Please feel free to encourage me, but I am still a bit fragile emotionally. Deciding to make this day 1 and losing what I considered my one and only real friend is tough. So please be gentle with your words if you don't mind.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Welcome back Sinderos. I'm sorry you felt discouraged the last time you posted. Congrats on trying again.
Soooo, you'll hear this from more than me I'm sure. I try not to take anything personally, not to attach. Especially on the internet. That is really hard, I know. Just remember that people are sharing their experience and what worked for them. If it comes across as harsh, try to turn your thinking around. Some people are just blunt. I know I have to constantly challenge my thinking and perceptions. I cannot afford to take things personally. Especially when I have no idea how something is really meant. That's mind reading....not a mind reader
I know I drink for many reasons. But one is loneliness. I have completely isolated myself over the years since my husband died...really, I've always been a lone wolf. Well, guess what? It isn't ok. Some alone time is good. But I really have no friends. I fought the idea of AA for years. I have attended quite a bit, but I was always separate from. Not really all in. I have realized in spades that without support, contacts, friends and a community, I'm screwed. Period. I cannot do this alone. I am just saying try not to close your mind to a community in the F2F world. If you attend church, maybe Celebrate Recovery. Ask yourself what part of you is rejecting the concept of AA. For me, it was my addiction. It does not want the competition. Just my two cents.
Good luck!
Soooo, you'll hear this from more than me I'm sure. I try not to take anything personally, not to attach. Especially on the internet. That is really hard, I know. Just remember that people are sharing their experience and what worked for them. If it comes across as harsh, try to turn your thinking around. Some people are just blunt. I know I have to constantly challenge my thinking and perceptions. I cannot afford to take things personally. Especially when I have no idea how something is really meant. That's mind reading....not a mind reader
I know I drink for many reasons. But one is loneliness. I have completely isolated myself over the years since my husband died...really, I've always been a lone wolf. Well, guess what? It isn't ok. Some alone time is good. But I really have no friends. I fought the idea of AA for years. I have attended quite a bit, but I was always separate from. Not really all in. I have realized in spades that without support, contacts, friends and a community, I'm screwed. Period. I cannot do this alone. I am just saying try not to close your mind to a community in the F2F world. If you attend church, maybe Celebrate Recovery. Ask yourself what part of you is rejecting the concept of AA. For me, it was my addiction. It does not want the competition. Just my two cents.
Good luck!
Catch and Release
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Crazy Canuck
Posts: 441
Hi Sinderos:
I've been sober for 19 months using only SR. AA does not resonate with me. I found that just reading here and posting on occasion has helped me. There are thousands of people who are successfully sober without using AA.
The key to successful sobriety is you have to want it more than anything and have a plan. I've found that things like exercise and healthy diet, while noble and worthy, was not enough for me. It was way too easy to just not go to the gym (even if you bought a membership) or just eat that piece of cake. There was no real accountability.
For me, the key to my success, was joining a community theatre group. I had to be accountable because the entire guild depends on all the members involved in the production to do their part to be a success. This particular guild puts on 3 productions a year and they rival professional productions. This saved me. It is loads of fun and I get a huge sense of accomplishment. I have to be sober to do my best and since the rehearsals and productions are in the evenings, I can't be drinking.
This accountability made the difference for me. Every morning I wake up and am just so happy that I have no hangover and can face whatever the day may throw at me - be it death (pet and friends), birthdays, holidays, working through my divorce, being alone for the first time in my life, losing a job, making new friends, etc.
Anyway, that's what worked for me and continues to work today.
Grins,
CF
I've been sober for 19 months using only SR. AA does not resonate with me. I found that just reading here and posting on occasion has helped me. There are thousands of people who are successfully sober without using AA.
The key to successful sobriety is you have to want it more than anything and have a plan. I've found that things like exercise and healthy diet, while noble and worthy, was not enough for me. It was way too easy to just not go to the gym (even if you bought a membership) or just eat that piece of cake. There was no real accountability.
For me, the key to my success, was joining a community theatre group. I had to be accountable because the entire guild depends on all the members involved in the production to do their part to be a success. This particular guild puts on 3 productions a year and they rival professional productions. This saved me. It is loads of fun and I get a huge sense of accomplishment. I have to be sober to do my best and since the rehearsals and productions are in the evenings, I can't be drinking.
This accountability made the difference for me. Every morning I wake up and am just so happy that I have no hangover and can face whatever the day may throw at me - be it death (pet and friends), birthdays, holidays, working through my divorce, being alone for the first time in my life, losing a job, making new friends, etc.
Anyway, that's what worked for me and continues to work today.
Grins,
CF
Last edited by Calicofish; 09-20-2016 at 06:14 AM. Reason: typo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 669
Great idea on joining something that holds me accountable. I will check around and see what I find that is interesting to me. I do plan to volunteer at my new church. I'm deciding which area I would be best suited.
I do need to have thicker skin too. Usually things don't bother me too much, but I do feel a bit more emotional right now than usual.
I'm going to just take it one day at a time and for now come here when I'm struggling.
I do need to have thicker skin too. Usually things don't bother me too much, but I do feel a bit more emotional right now than usual.
I'm going to just take it one day at a time and for now come here when I'm struggling.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Sinderos, I've followed your posts for some time now. I absolutely think you can do this, and are ready for it. Just like you signed up for a 60 days challenge, maybe try and give yourself a 100 day challenge alcohol free. At 100 days I think you'll really like your life.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,189
Hello,
I am on day 6, and have had many "Day 1's". Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for being an addict. I don't care for AA either, but do find it helpful to be here and realize we are not alone!
Love yourself, and bless you on your journey. You are worth fighting for!!
I am on day 6, and have had many "Day 1's". Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for being an addict. I don't care for AA either, but do find it helpful to be here and realize we are not alone!
Love yourself, and bless you on your journey. You are worth fighting for!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 322
Just some of my amateur observations about my infancy in trying for sobriety. SR is great, it fills in the gaps in the day to day things that go on in life. I am learning a lot of things about having a sober "life", not just not drinking. I have learned that alcohol is VERY misunderstood by people that do and do not have problems with alcoholism. Understanding the root cause, I believe, is very important. That requires information. I found Annie Grace's book, This Naked Mind, to be very helpful in understand the physiological aspects that alcohol has on the human mind/body. Also, I think face to face interaction is important. Life involves people other than ourselves and if you want to participate in life, you gotta deal with it. I was always the poster child for anti-AA. I was wrong. It does have benefits. It's probably the most widely available resource, it's free, it's anonymous, and it does provide literature that helps to get rolling on mapping out what is helpful in achieving a sober life. For us alcoholics, the drug, yes drug, alcohol has our mind locked up. One needs to have an open mind to be successful in a sober life, I think. AA did that for me. Sure, you will hear a bunch of self-pity, crybaby stories in the rooms, but you have the option to filter out what you want. People need other people and they are there. I hope you do well.
P.S.: some folks have told me that the wrong end of the horse is depicted in my avatar.
P.S.: some folks have told me that the wrong end of the horse is depicted in my avatar.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Sinderos. Sounds like you've taken lots of positive steps in preparation for this, that is essential to make recovery work.
SR is here for anyone and everyone. I do know how you feel regarding hearing things you don't want to hear. I heard a lot of them during my drinking years and I too "left" SR once because i figured I didn't need it. Well, I was wrong of course and thankfully came back.
There is a fine line between finding what "works best" for us in regards to recovery and throwing aside things simply because we don't think they will work or that we won't/don't/can't use them. I think the best solution is to keep an open mind and listen to what others have to say, knowing full well that we will meet others that we don't agree with. That's simply inherent to life itself, not just sobriety, right?
I hope we can help you make this be "the" time and find long term sobriety/peace.
SR is here for anyone and everyone. I do know how you feel regarding hearing things you don't want to hear. I heard a lot of them during my drinking years and I too "left" SR once because i figured I didn't need it. Well, I was wrong of course and thankfully came back.
There is a fine line between finding what "works best" for us in regards to recovery and throwing aside things simply because we don't think they will work or that we won't/don't/can't use them. I think the best solution is to keep an open mind and listen to what others have to say, knowing full well that we will meet others that we don't agree with. That's simply inherent to life itself, not just sobriety, right?
I hope we can help you make this be "the" time and find long term sobriety/peace.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Welcome back Sinderos
I've probably given you this link before but I'll do it again because I think it can really help:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
I've probably given you this link before but I'll do it again because I think it can really help:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
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