DefofLov

You know..I am trying very hard not to become co-dependent and I am trying not to own my friends and their problems. I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with herpes and she has been really down about it. I wrote her a poem and I have been very supportive. However, it is all she can talk about at all and I have said what I can. I told her about support groups. Even when she called recently to wish me a happy birthday, she kept me on the phone. She just keeps on talking about it. About the guy she got it from and how stupid she was.

I keep on telling her over and over again that she is being too hard on herself and I am getting very tired of it. I dont want to be selfish but I cannot be her counselor. I also dont want to get sucked into yet another draining and tiring situation. Whenever I try to hang up she wont really let me until I have to get abrupt with her. Then I feel really, really bad. But she says things like "Oh, I shouldn't bombard you with this." Then I say, "Oh no, no, itz okay." I say it because I dont want to be harsh. You know? I dont want her to feel all alone....

And advice?

smoke gets in my eyes

Tell her what you have learned about the value of "letting go". It is GOOD to fill your time and mind with other things besides your obsession. Tell her you're going to help her with that by talking about ANYTHING else but that.

Hugs!

DefofLov

GREAT IDEA!!! Thanx so much...whew...I will try that.I think I am also prepared to tell her I cannot help her in the way that she needs help.

amarie

Def, tell her to see a Doctor. There is a prescription available to help prevent outbreaks that they advertise on tv. Maybe she can get on that and she will feel better and not be so upset about it. And maybe now she will know to use protection!! Thank God it's herpes and not AIDS.