Soberandhealthy

I spoke with my sponsor and she told me call 3 people and go to a meeting today, call me after the meeting.

The problem is i dont want to go is day 3 of being dry and feling better and not as desperate so i dont want to deal with the whole "hi im s&H and im an alcoholic"

arhhh i just want to be normal and i dont want to go to a meeting with a bunch of people i dont want to talk with beacuse im sober.

im just scary i havent been able to keep sober and i think i need this meetings and the sponsor i just dont want to do it

Soberandhealthy

oh God sorry this is in the wrong place

saphire39ca

I know how you feel hang in there xo

Endeavor

There is no wrong place and there is no normal to speak of. There is only us dealing with our own decisions and consequences of health or otherwise. What I do know, is day 3 is rough when consistently drinking, but it gets much easier after then. Just keep an eye on your physical responses because dependency is dangerous. When we are really sick, we seek professional help right? Meetings may not be your thing, but a doctors discretion and goal to get you well, might be in your best interest.

Dee74

Hi soberandhealtthy

Many many times I've not wanted to be an alcoholic either - but we are what we are. I think accepting that is pretty vital for long term success.

More than that - accepting that I am an alcoholic has made it possible for me to embrace a rich and full life I never could have dreamed of as a drinker, much less lived.

Life is awesome - but it took a little hard work and effort in those early days to get there.

Have faith you're doing the right thing - don't lose heart...and keep putting in the effort.

You'll get back what you put in, I promise

D

january161992

try some different meetings and you dont have to talk

just say pass if called on

and you dont have to introduce yourself

i sure as hell didnt when i was new!

cwood3

Day 3 is not too soon to keep working your plan.....

fini

Soberandhealthy,

looks to me like you posted in the perfect place.

here's a question for you:
what has been your experience with doing the things you want to do and not doing the things you don't want to do?
how has that panned out so far in relation to drinking and not drinking?

Soberandhealthy

Hi Fini,

My way has not work out pretty well, to be honest my way had been horrible.

having things my way got me into so much trouble pain and hardship.

anyways i went to the meeting and called my sposor afterwards. i am going to a meeting she is talking in tomorrow after work so theres my plan for tomorrow.

i am very grateful im sober today. thank you for listening to me everyone

Soberandhealthy

Have faith you're doing the right thing - don't lose heart...and keep putting in the effort.

yes i need to keep this in mind, my mind play tricks with me making me feel im doing the wrong thing, an exagerating i dont belog here but i do and i am so bad that this may be the only thing that works for me. sorry for being so down i am pretty scare today my live is unraveling, problems at work, home with family and friends and to to everything blacking out and drinking during the day for days.

i need to stop before something terrible happen already too many bad things had happened to me.

thank you D and everyone for replying

Dee74

I'm glad you feel a little better soberandhealthy

D

fini

Soberandhealthy,

i'd never advocate to blindly do everything a sponsor recommends, but i do know i made a decision to "get" a sponsor because i wanted the guidance, and i had some trust that the person i asked for that guidance would be a good one to ask because it sure looked like what they had done had panned out for them quite well.

if you went through a similar looking before you asked your sponsor to be your sponsor, in general it might be a good idea to follow the suggestions.

glad you found you could do what you didn't want to do.

Soberandhealthy

thank you everyone for your comments.

hi fini, thank you, actually my sponsor at the moment choose me. she walked up to me in a meeting and asked me if i had a sponsor i say no. she said well get my number i will sponsor you for 30 days and after you are sober 30 you can decide if we stay on.

i went to my 4 meeting today, very different meeting very spiritual with meditations break and all.

Soberandhealthy

I am pretty much willing to do anything to get those 30 days sober even get my own jailer. i dont know why but maybe at 30 days something happens and i see the light.

right now im not a happy camper i am a completly monster, everything bothers me and it is reason for arguments. i miss my drinking adventures go figured 4 days ago i was crying beacuse of the insane things i do while drunk.

meaning i know im insane so i need to try to wind out to 30 days even if it is crawling. believe me it is almost impossible wait till friday i will be looking for wine like a crackhead. this is why i need to do whatever it takes meaning going to these insane meetings with stranger who cry at the drop of the hat and tell me to pray pray pray.

i have no problem with God so to speak but i cant remenber a time a pray solved any of my problems. i have to gve everything a try like they say my life depends on it. to me its more like what i would be doing now drinking is MY LIFE.

thank you for hearing my selfcentered nonsense.

By the way 4 days sober and my life is not better actually i am in the middle of a nighmare due to consequence of my last bender. I should have worked more on being a more discreet drunk;(

Dee74

Some days for me it was hour by hour but I got through.

I knew where drinking led me - I had to have faith that not drinking would lead me somewhere new and better.

Start thinking about Friday now and what you could do to stay sober

Don't lose heart.

D

Soberandhealthy

my job buy my office luches fruit coffe and alcohol. yes in that order alcohol included in the same category with fruit and coffe. it is not rare for people to open a bottle of rose after a bad meeting.

my point is they are already planning fridays happy hours and all the booze is already laying aroung in the kitchen. how am i suppose to get past Friday?
people would wonder why im not drinking. i am notorious for my presence at every drinking opportunity. i am just ashame i dont want anyone to know, i am also jelous i cant drink anymore.

ugh feeling a lot of self pity over here. my husband asked how long are you going to keep on going to these meetings? i mean can you exercise or do something else? is kind of pointless to be home late cause those meetings are not preventing you from drinking.

i said to him well i have 5 das sober with "those meetings" but if it is bothering you i can go back to my previous schedule of two bottle of wine and a pack of cigarretes. im so angry and so confused.urgggg

Dee74

I would let people wonder, quite honestly.

Isn't it far better that way that to do what I did a million times and go to a happy hour with work colleagues and ended up making a drunken fool of myself?

D

Mountainmanbob

The above plus your sponsor may be a little gun ho.
I'm sure they think it's in your best interest.

M-Bob

trachemys

Yes, let people wonder. "I quit" shocks them.

Ruby2

"i am also jelous i cant drink anymore." This was the hardest thing for me in the beginning. I was so angry that other people got to drink and I couldn't. It took a mind shift. I could drink, but the consequences were always bad so I CHOSE not to drink.

Hang in there. The beginning is the hardest, hardest part. I had a lot of ups and downs. A LOT of anger and self pity. "Why me?" It does get easier. I read on here. I reach out to people in real life. I go to AA meetings. Anything to keep from drinking.