Optimini

Since I'm past a month now, I've stopped attending anything that focuses solely on drinking. Like happy hours. My office has weekly happy hours and I stopped going. I kept getting harassed over it, then it stopped and then again today people were pressuring me. Asking me to attend and NOT drink, just to attend. I don't think people are trying to be rude or disrespectful, but I do get a bit resentful over it. No means no. If I said I quit drinking - no matter what the reason - that should be the end of the conversation. It's so annoying, I'm still mad over it. Just wanted to vent.

tomsteve

it can be difficult when people just dont get it.
it reads like ya might have to get firmer with your boundaries.
how to do that, now, is a good question i hope someone can have suggestions for.

least

Just tell them again, no thank you. Tell them that until they 'get it'. Repeat it like a broken record until they stop asking.

Anna

You're right, no means no, but a lot of people just don't get that simple concept.

Good for you for avoiding places with alcohol.

Optimini

My day started with an infuriating email at 4am. I'm definitely not going to challenge my sobriety under these circumstances. Very sick of accommodating what everyone else wants.

Optimini

It's nothing I started or encouraged. If I could create a way to keep people from talking before they even do, I'd be a billionaire. LOL

Bailey3

Sounds to me like you won today! Keep it up.

Mklove

I stayed back from things for a while where people wouldn't stop asking but for the most part no one even notices and I have had more fun sober, stayed longer, safer there, definitely safer driving. Though I tried not to D+D I took some risks over the years.

madgirl

Oh man I get it!!! At work in my OWN OFFICE some people were drinking wine out of one of the BIG bottles of pinot noir for a coworker's birthday - it pissed me off but they came in my room because evidently they enjoy talking to me (?!) or whatever, so I was a chatterbox and it worked out - for them.
They kept asking until I finally made a joke "what is this - high school? Am I not in the cool kids group if I don't drink?"

Optimini

AMEN SISTER!
It's ridiculous. It's a stupid event anyway, drinking in the office. Just asking for a DUI.

Mountainmanbob

This won't be happening for long.

And going just to hang out and basically watch others drink is not recommended in early sobriety. Actually I still don't care for it.

If I hang out in a barber shop,
I just may end up with a haircut?

M-Bob

Maudcat

Are you okay with going to the happy hour but not drinking? If so, just stick a glass in your hand with some beverage in it. People bug me less about drinking if i have something in my hand. It's stupid, I know, but it works for me. Frankly, when I worked (I'm retired), the absolute last thing I wanted to do was hang out with colleagues and drink, but that's another story. Good luck.

Dee74

I wasn't working in that kind of situation but after a while it got to be almost a badge of honour for me - 'no, I do not drink'.

People got it in the end...and those who didn't don;t annoy me anymore even when they ask

D

Optimini

MNBob & Maudcat - I didn't attend, I left the office. In the future maybe if I feel like I might attend, a pop in if I am armed with a mocktail or something. I know better than to do that on a day that I'm exhausted and upset though. So didn't attend today and I'll only go if and when I want to and if I feel comfortable doing so.
Dee - so far it hasn't been a big deal but I really got some blow back from the "she quit drinking" comments. Like it puts a question mark out there. Finally I just said - "Look, I'm just too old for this ****. I get too tired and I'm already stressed about x,y&z....I just need a change."
But it pisses me off to be pressed for any explanation. Because it's a bunch of binge drinking guys and I used to be a girl that would drink the same. I hate that I even did that at my work.
Maybe another day I won't be as angry about it I guess.

meowychristmas

Good for you for standing your ground! I'm about to turn down a social gathering centered around wine tasting. It's just not worth it to put myself in a compromising situation like that. Going forward I know I need to be firm with just saying 'no' (and not feeling guilty for it).

Maudcat

I know! When I tell people that I don't drink, some respond with "Oh?" Like "Tell me more. What super-stupid, embarrassing things did you do that made you decide to stop drinking?" The heck with that. My not drinking is my business. I just smile sweetly ( I'm a granny, so I can pull off sweetly) and say "The entire biker gang went on the wagon. Can you imagine?" This either gets a laugh or total befuddlement. One of the nice things about getting older is that you can say the most outrageous things and get away with. My friend says that if we ever started a granny crime ring, we'd be brilliant!

VibrantQueen

Congrats on your win Optimini! You handled it with grace.

Maudcat LMAO @ Granny Crime Ring LOL

Optimini

I always wanted to start a chick vespa biker gang....lol

Maudcat

Yeah, Baby!

Delilah1

You are smart to avoid happy hours. I often use my kids as an excuse as to why I can't attend work functions, not even so much because I am worried I will drink, but because I am tired at the end of the day!!

Honestly, the majority of my drinking took place at home on my couch. I am not missing that either!!