My relapse story
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 7
My relapse story
I am an alcoholic binge drinker. After being sober for over a year I got complacent. In that complacency I convinced myself that I don't have a drinking problem. Sobriety was no longer a priority. In fact I was never sober I was just dry. I didn't drink every day or even once a week, but when I did drink I drank to oblivion. I've relapsed multiple times since that dry spell and each one more severe. After each bout I still told myself I didn't have a problem. I had no qualms proclaiming that i was an alcoholic and stating that i cannot drink in moderation. Thats two lies in one. What i told people was a lie because in my mind i didnt have a problem. I was just saying what I thought they wanted to hear. I was lying to myself because i did have a problem with alcohol. The alcoholic mind is a helluva drug.*
During that 1 year dry spell I rebuilt my life with help from good people and Church. It was bigger and better in every way. It still is. I haven't hit rock bottom this time around yet, but we all know the rate of speed an alcoholic falls increases exponentially. At my job I was promoted twice and made managment all just under a year. I was so busy at work that I no longer worked on my sobriety. That's when I started telling myself I no longer had a problem with alcohol because a guy who can accomplish this much in such a short amount of time didn't have problems with drinking.*
All that I learned about alcohol and sobriety went out the window. The first bouts of drinking weren't severe and I gave my fiancé all the best excuses on why I relapsed just like a good alcoholic does. I would stay sober for a little while then relapse. I made a career change and went from working 15-20 hour days to having all the time in the world, but I never got back to working on my sobriety. I didn't have a problem anymore.*
Fast forward to my most recent relapse and I'm sitting here going through hellish withdrawals while my fiancé is in Mexico with her mom. I was supposed to be with my fiancé in Mexico, but I was too wasted to get up.*
During that 1 year dry spell I rebuilt my life with help from good people and Church. It was bigger and better in every way. It still is. I haven't hit rock bottom this time around yet, but we all know the rate of speed an alcoholic falls increases exponentially. At my job I was promoted twice and made managment all just under a year. I was so busy at work that I no longer worked on my sobriety. That's when I started telling myself I no longer had a problem with alcohol because a guy who can accomplish this much in such a short amount of time didn't have problems with drinking.*
All that I learned about alcohol and sobriety went out the window. The first bouts of drinking weren't severe and I gave my fiancé all the best excuses on why I relapsed just like a good alcoholic does. I would stay sober for a little while then relapse. I made a career change and went from working 15-20 hour days to having all the time in the world, but I never got back to working on my sobriety. I didn't have a problem anymore.*
Fast forward to my most recent relapse and I'm sitting here going through hellish withdrawals while my fiancé is in Mexico with her mom. I was supposed to be with my fiancé in Mexico, but I was too wasted to get up.*
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,188
Thank you for sharing. I've experience a similar situation, 9 months. Not sober, but dry. The initial relapse was 'okay' in drinking terms, no blackout, no fights, no broken hearts. The second time I drank after the dry spell - blacked out from 20 beers and a bottle of rum, lost my wallet, told a good friend to bugger off (in harsher terms) with his 'take it easy' bull etc. Conclusion - dry, not sober.
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Originally Posted by Julia8 
Welcome! You came to an amazing place of unconditional support. The good news is you never have to go through this again. <3
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Join Date: Sep 2016
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Originally Posted by Anna
I hope that you are planning to stop drinking again. You will find lots of support here.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good. Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
Welcome to SR!
As you've learned, alcoholism is progressive. Alcohol is also cunning, baffling and powerful. And patient.
I guy I know with years of sobriety, one of the people in the AA group that others look up to. He recently relapsed after years of sobriety, at the age of 68.
If you are an alcoholic, you need to be careful, it's a lifelong condition. I once had several years of sobriety. Then I got complacent, thinking I could drink like a normal person. I spent a year trying to get, and stay, sober again.
Stick around this website, it can really help.
As you've learned, alcoholism is progressive. Alcohol is also cunning, baffling and powerful. And patient.
I guy I know with years of sobriety, one of the people in the AA group that others look up to. He recently relapsed after years of sobriety, at the age of 68.
If you are an alcoholic, you need to be careful, it's a lifelong condition. I once had several years of sobriety. Then I got complacent, thinking I could drink like a normal person. I spent a year trying to get, and stay, sober again.
Stick around this website, it can really help.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 322
It's kind of ironic. I am new to sobriety (34 days) and I have been doing a lot of reading and researching, being the engineering sort I am. I have also been attending AA (39 meetings in 29 days). Nowhere have I found any information that indicates that an alcoholic can regain control and become a normal drinker. I haven't found that information yet. As of yet, I can't picture myself ignoring all the studies and information and think that I can drink normally. And my current sobriety just is worth a lot more than risking trying to prove that I can. Just my two cents...YMMV
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Join Date: Sep 2016
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Originally Posted by cwood3
It's kind of ironic. I am new to sobriety (34 days) and I have been doing a lot of reading and researching, being the engineering sort I am. I have also been attending AA (39 meetings in 29 days). Nowhere have I found any information that indicates that an alcoholic can regain control and become a normal drinker. I haven't found that information yet. As of yet, I can't picture myself ignoring all the studies and information and think that I can drink normally. And my current sobriety just is worth a lot more than risking trying to prove that I can. Just my two cents...YMMV
Thanks for the support everybody it's much appreciated.
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