Need a little advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Thousand Oaks, CA
Posts: 2
Need a little advice
I quit drinking two months ago to the day, but I must admit, I don't want any pats on the back. My choice was my own and I didn't make this choice to be rewarded and to have have my ego boosted by having people tell me what a "hero" I am for quitting. A hero to me is someone who works three jobs so they can raise their family and do it without complaint with the dignity and selflessness of Gandhi. Now that person is a hero. Not me.
I grew to realize that I was not being good to myself, my wife and two children and that from age 15 to now 52, alcohol was killing me and all those around me. I was a moderate to heavy drinker who drank hard when I was in my Teens, 20s and 30s, then became a two to three glass of wine a night guy until I quit. While not as heavy a drinker as during my younger years, certainly a constant drinker and an equally destructive one until the day I quit. NOW, I am free with no desire to return, BUT I'm depressed and am searching hard for answers to to "How long will I be "nuts"? Or, "Should I take anti-depressant medicines until my brain chemistry rebounds to normal?" Or, "Should my brain chemistry already have rebounded by now and therefore I'm naturally "nuts?" I've done what I've needed to do to end a very long and dark period of my past, but now I'm rudderless as to what's in store for me going forward. I sure could use some advise. Thanks.
I grew to realize that I was not being good to myself, my wife and two children and that from age 15 to now 52, alcohol was killing me and all those around me. I was a moderate to heavy drinker who drank hard when I was in my Teens, 20s and 30s, then became a two to three glass of wine a night guy until I quit. While not as heavy a drinker as during my younger years, certainly a constant drinker and an equally destructive one until the day I quit. NOW, I am free with no desire to return, BUT I'm depressed and am searching hard for answers to to "How long will I be "nuts"? Or, "Should I take anti-depressant medicines until my brain chemistry rebounds to normal?" Or, "Should my brain chemistry already have rebounded by now and therefore I'm naturally "nuts?" I've done what I've needed to do to end a very long and dark period of my past, but now I'm rudderless as to what's in store for me going forward. I sure could use some advise. Thanks.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome NeverDull 
you'll get congrats here cos we know what it takes o get 2 months, and no one else is likely to be organising a ticker tape parade...
with 'nuts' - yeah I was a little nuts for the first 90 days - I was emotionally volatile and I didn't really feel grounded...but it got progressively better up to and after 90 days...
I figure after 20 years of drinking 90 days to let mind and body start to heal was a pretty sweet deal
You'll find a ton of support here too - good to have you join us
D
you'll get congrats here cos we know what it takes o get 2 months, and no one else is likely to be organising a ticker tape parade...
with 'nuts' - yeah I was a little nuts for the first 90 days - I was emotionally volatile and I didn't really feel grounded...but it got progressively better up to and after 90 days...
I figure after 20 years of drinking 90 days to let mind and body start to heal was a pretty sweet deal
You'll find a ton of support here too - good to have you join us
D
Guest
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,802
Congratulations on two months Neverdull. Its hard if you suffer from depression but entirely up to you whether you think you need antidepressants. I know people who got depressed in early sobriety and managed to recover without them. I also know a few who decided to take them. It all depends on whether you were using alcohol to self-medicate. Only you can answer that question. You are doing great.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Yes. I remember the nuts feelings. The washing machine head. See sawing emotions. Being restless, irritable and discontent.
For me, after about a month I thought I was going proper crazy. That's when I went along to my first AA meeting. I was alive. And I was sober. But I didn't feel like I knew how to LIVE sober. And that is what recovery groups are for (not just AA, others as well). If you Google the 12-steps of AA, you will notice that of those 12-steps only the first one even mentions alcohol. All the others are about learning to live on life's terms in a way that is comfortable, sustainable and some day preferable to taking a drink. There is a great little, even book called Living Sober that is worth getting hold of and reading.
I would also recommend reading the links on Dee's thread about making a recovery plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
When I stopped drinking, I thought that was the end of a road. What I didn't realise was that if I worked on a program of recovery, actually it was going to be a beautiful new beginning.
For me, after about a month I thought I was going proper crazy. That's when I went along to my first AA meeting. I was alive. And I was sober. But I didn't feel like I knew how to LIVE sober. And that is what recovery groups are for (not just AA, others as well). If you Google the 12-steps of AA, you will notice that of those 12-steps only the first one even mentions alcohol. All the others are about learning to live on life's terms in a way that is comfortable, sustainable and some day preferable to taking a drink. There is a great little, even book called Living Sober that is worth getting hold of and reading.
I would also recommend reading the links on Dee's thread about making a recovery plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
When I stopped drinking, I thought that was the end of a road. What I didn't realise was that if I worked on a program of recovery, actually it was going to be a beautiful new beginning.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 30
You are definitely not alone, and these feelings are normal. The first few weeks/months can be a real challenge. In fact, I thought I was losing my mind. I was depressed, irritable, and on an emotional roller coaster. Once I finally decided to take my recovery plan seriously and work it every day (for me it's AA), I slowly started to even out emotionally, though it is still a struggle sometimes. Like you, I'm in early recovery, but I finally managed--after a few stumbles here and there--to get through the first few critical (and rather difficult) months. The emotions and other feelings are much more manageable now, I'm happy to say. The key for me was to cling to my recovery program, once I got to the point where I wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to drink. Hang in there. It will get better as long as you don't drink.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
Welcome. The first 90 days were a roller coaster for me - I posted here that I had thoughts of death, that I couldn't feel particularly happy or excited about anything, etc
Now I do have moments and days which are much better - peaceful, quiet in my head - hard to articulate but I am very grateful.
Just get through the time - and do it clean. AA sounds like a great program - I may also need it too - but you are feeling (it sounds like) what I experienced, and with time you will feel better.
Now I do have moments and days which are much better - peaceful, quiet in my head - hard to articulate but I am very grateful.
Just get through the time - and do it clean. AA sounds like a great program - I may also need it too - but you are feeling (it sounds like) what I experienced, and with time you will feel better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I think a program a recovery, where you can meet and share with others alcoholics, helps with grounding and learning how to live life without a crutch. An addiction counselor, where you can talk about what's going on, also really helps.
Look into PAWS as well.
Look into PAWS as well.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
(Hi Frick! Haven't seen you around in a bit- hope all is well!)
A few thoughts- as usual, I agree with Dee and with berrybean - AA is my lifeline, too. I started right away (almost 7mo ago) and it is my chosen and dedicated path. Whatever you do - and two months is fantastic!- a plan will be what guides you, teaches you, and ultimately helps you maintain a sober LIFE of recovery, not just one of not drinking and struggle (In my humble opinion and my ESH).
Seeing your dr for the upsetting and depressed thoughts is probably a good idea. Personally, I am a big believer in using our drs to help us get and stay well, and for me that includes medication (I still take Campral, an anti-craving drug which has worked amazingly as I have had perhaps two *mental* ideas of drinking, and no physical ones) and some psych meds. Honesty with your dr about your drinking history is key. For me, because I was very sick, other medical tests and now just keeping an eye on them (things like liver function, iron, potassium, thyroid) are what I do.
Have you tried AA? The feelings you describe are very normal and as was said above, long years of drinking aren't quickly "resolved." Here is a great article on PAWS - getting sober is not just the first few days of getting alcohol out of your system physically. Some of us- me- experience various physiological, mental, spatial, motor, all kinds of "rebuilding" as a process-
https://www.google.com/url?hl=en&q=h...TECB1DBQq6LWeA
Two months is actually not that long in terms of healing, and it is the beginning of learning what we need to in order to live new, healthy, sober lives. I'm still at the beginning at almost seven and I work really diligently at my program. It includes meetings, daily BB reading, daily devotionals, a sponsor and a close circle of supporters, plus work/exercise/eating/SLEEP and such.
Stick around and get to know us- you will find a lot of support- and well-intentioned honesty here.
Good luck!
PS I believe alcoholics who get and stay sober are indeed heroes. I believe we have stories to share and are the strong ones. There are all different kinds of heroes in this world, with room for all.
A few thoughts- as usual, I agree with Dee and with berrybean - AA is my lifeline, too. I started right away (almost 7mo ago) and it is my chosen and dedicated path. Whatever you do - and two months is fantastic!- a plan will be what guides you, teaches you, and ultimately helps you maintain a sober LIFE of recovery, not just one of not drinking and struggle (In my humble opinion and my ESH).
Seeing your dr for the upsetting and depressed thoughts is probably a good idea. Personally, I am a big believer in using our drs to help us get and stay well, and for me that includes medication (I still take Campral, an anti-craving drug which has worked amazingly as I have had perhaps two *mental* ideas of drinking, and no physical ones) and some psych meds. Honesty with your dr about your drinking history is key. For me, because I was very sick, other medical tests and now just keeping an eye on them (things like liver function, iron, potassium, thyroid) are what I do.
Have you tried AA? The feelings you describe are very normal and as was said above, long years of drinking aren't quickly "resolved." Here is a great article on PAWS - getting sober is not just the first few days of getting alcohol out of your system physically. Some of us- me- experience various physiological, mental, spatial, motor, all kinds of "rebuilding" as a process-
https://www.google.com/url?hl=en&q=h...TECB1DBQq6LWeA
Two months is actually not that long in terms of healing, and it is the beginning of learning what we need to in order to live new, healthy, sober lives. I'm still at the beginning at almost seven and I work really diligently at my program. It includes meetings, daily BB reading, daily devotionals, a sponsor and a close circle of supporters, plus work/exercise/eating/SLEEP and such.
Stick around and get to know us- you will find a lot of support- and well-intentioned honesty here.
Good luck!
PS I believe alcoholics who get and stay sober are indeed heroes. I believe we have stories to share and are the strong ones. There are all different kinds of heroes in this world, with room for all.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
"nuts" is a relative term of course...
I was nuts when I first quit drinking, but I was way more nuts when I was drinking.
Long term use of alcohol chemically rearranges our brains.
The healing process takes some time. Depending on several factors, it could take months to years. One thing that has been proven is that the brain 'remembers'. That means that over the course of the 'healing' process, if you go back to drinking again, the brain will also go back to how it was before you quit the first time. To the brain, it's kinda like riding a bicycle. Even if you haven't been on a bicycle for years, in no time, you are an expert again. The brain is an expert at being an addict. It doesn't take but one time for it to go back...
Anyway, I was 'nuts' for a while. I'd find myself driving down the highway in a 'zone' sometimes. Even at the six month mark. Eventually, those symptoms subsided. I was a heavy drinker for 35 years. The last several were all out get drunk till blackout/pass out almost every day. A six pack of beer was nothing to me, I had to be on the second to even begin to 'feel it' most days.
The thing is, even though there are similarities between us, our physiology and history are the determining factors on how fast our brain recovers. Be assured that what you are experiencing is normal. And the longer you are away from your last drink, the improvements will become more noticeable.
I was nuts when I first quit drinking, but I was way more nuts when I was drinking.
Long term use of alcohol chemically rearranges our brains.
The healing process takes some time. Depending on several factors, it could take months to years. One thing that has been proven is that the brain 'remembers'. That means that over the course of the 'healing' process, if you go back to drinking again, the brain will also go back to how it was before you quit the first time. To the brain, it's kinda like riding a bicycle. Even if you haven't been on a bicycle for years, in no time, you are an expert again. The brain is an expert at being an addict. It doesn't take but one time for it to go back...
Anyway, I was 'nuts' for a while. I'd find myself driving down the highway in a 'zone' sometimes. Even at the six month mark. Eventually, those symptoms subsided. I was a heavy drinker for 35 years. The last several were all out get drunk till blackout/pass out almost every day. A six pack of beer was nothing to me, I had to be on the second to even begin to 'feel it' most days.
The thing is, even though there are similarities between us, our physiology and history are the determining factors on how fast our brain recovers. Be assured that what you are experiencing is normal. And the longer you are away from your last drink, the improvements will become more noticeable.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
hi there ND80, welcome to a brilliant group . I,m not too far ahead in sober time and yes I was nuts for my first 6 weeks with wild mood swings and crippling brain fog , tension headaches , It did settle though .
Keep coming here .
Keep coming here .
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Congratulations on yoru 2 months, that's a good stretch. My only advice would be to stay the course, feelings and emotions can be all over the place early on. Obviously a doctors visit wouldn't hurt. I will wager that it will get better, just not certain when exactly that will happen, its different for everyone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
You are definitely not alone and you should be proud of your accomplishment.
It took me a few months to feel 'normal'. I was depressed long before I began drinking, so I needed antidepressants in order to level the playing field for me. If the alcohol caused your low mood, it should rebound in the next month or so. If not, you could always check with your dr.
It took me a few months to feel 'normal'. I was depressed long before I began drinking, so I needed antidepressants in order to level the playing field for me. If the alcohol caused your low mood, it should rebound in the next month or so. If not, you could always check with your dr.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
nuts?? thats actually me in my avatar.
i heard early on, and found it to be true for me, that it can take upwards of a year for the effects of alcohol to be gone.
well worth trudging,too!
i heard early on, and found it to be true for me, that it can take upwards of a year for the effects of alcohol to be gone.
well worth trudging,too!
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Welcome NeverDull. Like others have said 2 months is great. I'm a few years older than you and just passed the one year mark. Keep going. It gets much better and was the best decision I ever made. When you have bad days just power through them. They won't last very long. If they do see a doc, there may be other issues. But do expect the first 3 to 6 months to sometimes be an emotional rollercoaster.
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