Jubilee64

Hi I've been in celebrate recovery and al anon and I'm BACK. It seems most of my relationships with people especially men have been with addicts. I'm definitely codependent and struggle with over eating when I'm upset. Today I blocked my alcoholic boyfriend as I didn't want to talk to him and be sucked into his crazies and I'm in a lot of pain because I know it's over. Been with him 7 months and I have made ever excuse possible for him disappearing at times not calling or texting not showing up or canceling and his lies about going to stop drinking and it just got worse. I asked him to go to AA He's in NA but I don't think he's been honesty entirely there and with me so many lies and gaps in his stories that I've lost trust in him. I know he's drinking and is in trouble with the law as a result but he was just so angry with me today because he once again fell through on plans and just didn't bother to answer phone or texts. I'm just tired of this and him not having money and borrowing from me and I feel so used and manipulated. He cares more about himself and his alcohol and cigarettes and buying things for himself rather than me. I love him but I'm done. I need support not to get sucked in. I am so afraid for his mental health and his physical health like his liver and bad cough and just not taking care of himself. I have guilt for letting go. I do love him and in his way know he loves me but the love I get from him is not healthy and I'm in pain and grief more than being happy. I feel bad and think he's gonna change but it's not happening. Then I think what if we are supposed to be together in the future am o doing the wrong thing and I second guess. I've loved him hard but I can't stand him being sarcastic and the raised tone I get and if I try to discuss the problems I'm accused of starting and nagging. I need help not to call back because I'm worried he's with someone else or he still wants me. All I want is him to be sober and be in recovery and take care of himself and me to not have that horrible pain I've had for months. I'm heartbroken and lonely but trying to trust God is in control and has better for me.

sugarbear1

Have you worked those 12 steps, yet?? This is where we change! Maybe give them a go?

Jubilee64

I have to gotta find my books and do it

january161992

thanks for your humble post


i was taught to work the steps under the guidance of a sponsor