Today is 4 weeks, why is it so underwhelming?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 147
Today is 4 weeks, why is it so underwhelming?
I'm two days away from the big 30 day milestone, well for me that was a big number. I remember when I started coming here I was so enthusiastic about reaching the magic 30th day, and for some reason, I'm less dazzled then I thought I'd be.
I feel I'm past physical cravings, but the last few days the mental or emotional desire to drink came back with a vengeance. I feel I am very clear minded at this point, and now I can really understand how I fell into such a bad habit in the first place.
There's definitely many positive physical improvements I've noticed, I probably would have noticed more if I had eaten a little better instead of allowing myself junk and sweets to compensate, but I'm not beating myself up over it. My next vice I'm going to quit is pop tarts, LOL!
Any advice from the long timers how to reset the enthusiasm with this task?
I feel the biggest lesson I've learned so far is that sobriety is really hard, and life is even harder.
I feel I'm past physical cravings, but the last few days the mental or emotional desire to drink came back with a vengeance. I feel I am very clear minded at this point, and now I can really understand how I fell into such a bad habit in the first place.
There's definitely many positive physical improvements I've noticed, I probably would have noticed more if I had eaten a little better instead of allowing myself junk and sweets to compensate, but I'm not beating myself up over it. My next vice I'm going to quit is pop tarts, LOL!
Any advice from the long timers how to reset the enthusiasm with this task?
I feel the biggest lesson I've learned so far is that sobriety is really hard, and life is even harder.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,203
Congratulations on 4 weeks Optimini
30 days is a big deal imo so when you get maybe you will feel a bit more upbeat about it. The "mental and emotional desire to drink is your addiction calling to you so it is good that you are posting here and obviously keeping your guard up
A lot of people (me included) ate a lot of sweet filled rubbish in early recovery but it fades gradually so don't be too concerned
Keep going and good luck
30 days is a big deal imo so when you get maybe you will feel a bit more upbeat about it. The "mental and emotional desire to drink is your addiction calling to you so it is good that you are posting here and obviously keeping your guard up
A lot of people (me included) ate a lot of sweet filled rubbish in early recovery but it fades gradually so don't be too concerned
Keep going and good luck
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
well, one of the things we learn in sobriety is that the world isn't going to stop, throw a parade, set of fireworks AND an F-18 flyover every time WE hit another day, month or year of sobriety. we now join the ranks of the non-drinkers, who get up every day and just get ON with it and find joy where they can or where they choose.
trust me, 30 days is HUGE, but it's huge for YOU. remember you are now NOT doing what you probably should NOT have been doing for a long time.
AA and other support groups are very good at recognizing the milestones of recovery......birthday meetings, coins, chips, speakers meetings......lots of super good mojo.
with others who DO appreciate the valiant effort of the recovering.
trust me, 30 days is HUGE, but it's huge for YOU. remember you are now NOT doing what you probably should NOT have been doing for a long time.
AA and other support groups are very good at recognizing the milestones of recovery......birthday meetings, coins, chips, speakers meetings......lots of super good mojo.
with others who DO appreciate the valiant effort of the recovering.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 147
Darwinia - Sometimes, yes I'm bored socializing, sometimes it hasn't been as bad. I make a conscious effort to try to talk to others who aren't drinking when I'm out as well, which helps.
Saoutchik - thanks and yes I wanted to post about my recent AV encounters. Came out of nowhere and sometimes I get angry at myself over them.
Saoutchik - thanks and yes I wanted to post about my recent AV encounters. Came out of nowhere and sometimes I get angry at myself over them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
well, one of the things we learn in sobriety is that the world isn't going to stop, throw a parade, set of fireworks AND an F-18 flyover every time WE hit another day, month or year of sobriety. we now join the ranks of the non-drinkers, who get up every day and just get ON with it and find joy where they can or where they choose.
trust me, 30 days is HUGE, but it's huge for YOU. remember you are now NOT doing what you probably should NOT have been doing for a long time.
AA and other support groups are very good at recognizing the milestones of recovery......birthday meetings, coins, chips, speakers meetings......lots of super good mojo. with others who DO appreciate the valiant effort of the recovering.
trust me, 30 days is HUGE, but it's huge for YOU. remember you are now NOT doing what you probably should NOT have been doing for a long time.
AA and other support groups are very good at recognizing the milestones of recovery......birthday meetings, coins, chips, speakers meetings......lots of super good mojo.
with others who DO appreciate the valiant effort of the recovering.Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 322
Today is Day 30 for me. I wouldn't give up Pop Tarts...no way. I do think it's important to keep busy. Idle time is just asking for it. I also think sobriety is what you make it. I know life happens everyday whether I'm drinking or not. Since I chose not to drink, I have to roll with life in that mode. Look ahead and visualize the the things you want to achieve down the road. Then map out what has to occur to get there. You'd be surprised how much time you can take up with that. "Faith without works is dead". Sure it's tough, it really is. BUt we are trying to get something. Stay tough and we will get it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 109
For me, the second time around, I decided not to "count the days", which I did the first time. Sure every so often, I stooped to count back, but I do not do the milestones. Seemed to help me, just a thought.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Originally Posted by Optimini
I feel the biggest lesson I've learned so far is that sobriety is really hard, and life is even harder.
I found parts of sobriety hard, but coping with a sober life nowhere near as hard as trying to put on the facade of normalcy while drinking heavily. I found socialising in large groups hard too, and a couple of work-related things where everyone else drank were particularly tough at about that stage. I was crawling the walls with anxiety at those things. I think anything involving large boozy groups should be avoided if you're not comfortable with them.
It sounds like you're looking to the next aspects of a sober life ... about that time, I started seriously reengaging with close friends and redevoting myself to hobbies I'd stopped enjoying.
30 days is great and it's normal to think - is that all there is? Don't forget how bad it used to be.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,781
I hit a 'flat' spot early in recovery. I was advised to start practicing gratitude and now I do it every day. It's made me have a more positive outlook.
Congrats on the first of many sober months!
Congrats on the first of many sober months!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 147
cwood3 - congrats on your 30 days. One of my personal flaws is that I don't plan for the future, or think about it enough. Thinking about how I would feel in the morning has stopped me from drinking several times this last month. It's something I am working on for sure.
1984Toy - I have a counter on my phone and it does help me to look at the days, because I'm one of those people that feels like a week is 3 weeks, especially considering sobriety. I probably would have relapsed thinking I've made it 6 months already, lol.
1984Toy - I have a counter on my phone and it does help me to look at the days, because I'm one of those people that feels like a week is 3 weeks, especially considering sobriety. I probably would have relapsed thinking I've made it 6 months already, lol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 147
Thank you least and MissPerfumado.
This is exactly why I really love this place. Encouragement, positive reinforcement and yet not a bunch of fluff and blowing smoke. I really appreciate the different points of view you all have shared.
This is exactly why I really love this place. Encouragement, positive reinforcement and yet not a bunch of fluff and blowing smoke. I really appreciate the different points of view you all have shared.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: MI
Posts: 626
Congrats on your 30 days! It's really a great achievement (as you must know compared to daily grind of being a drinker) but even though it feels as though, "daaaang, I made it 30 days and this is it?" Let me tell you that as everyday and ever other 30 days and eventually a year a pass.... You are going feel more of an accomplishment and look back and say... "Thirty days was huge.... It got me here!!"
Stick with it..... It gets soo much better and you really will see it.
Stick with it..... It gets soo much better and you really will see it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Originally Posted by Optimini
cwood3 - congrats on your 30 days. One of my personal flaws is that I don't plan for the future, or think about it enough. Thinking about how I would feel in the morning has stopped me from drinking several times this last month. It's something I am working on for sure.
1984Toy - I have a counter on my phone and it does help me to look at the days, because I'm one of those people that feels like a week is 3 weeks, especially considering sobriety. I probably would have relapsed thinking I've made it 6 months already, lol.
1984Toy - I have a counter on my phone and it does help me to look at the days, because I'm one of those people that feels like a week is 3 weeks, especially considering sobriety. I probably would have relapsed thinking I've made it 6 months already, lol.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
It takes thirty days to get thirty days.
It took me twenty five years to get twenty five years. And then I drank for three years. I'm at a little more than five years again, so I've got twenty years to go.
I was so beaten up after my extended experiment that I had no choice but to lower my expectations. I didn't have any, and I didn't have any reason to. My mind and my body were rebelling against all the damage I had done. I was twenty five years older when I started drinking again, and no longer enjoyed the physical benefits of being a man in his twenties while living a life built around drinking. I didn't pick up where I left off; I was left off at a place much worse than I could have imagined.
I had intense and daily cravings for more than a year. Scare tactics don't tend to work for me, so I needed something else to keep me going. Though I may not have been fully aware of it at the time, but what I needed was a leap of faith that there was a better way for me. Beyond intractable and inconsolable remorse for what I'd done, there was nothing else that kept me going for the first year or so.
There's a kind of suffering that causes pain, and another kind that can change your life. I won't list all the ways in which my life has gotten better, but I've had more than a few pleasant surprises along the way. It takes time and a lot of patience to get to a better place, just like most other things that are worthwhile in life.
This may be the best time you'll ever have to build a better life. Don't drink, and do whatever you need to stay sober. It's the best chance you have to avoid a relapse.
It took me twenty five years to get twenty five years. And then I drank for three years. I'm at a little more than five years again, so I've got twenty years to go.
I was so beaten up after my extended experiment that I had no choice but to lower my expectations. I didn't have any, and I didn't have any reason to. My mind and my body were rebelling against all the damage I had done. I was twenty five years older when I started drinking again, and no longer enjoyed the physical benefits of being a man in his twenties while living a life built around drinking. I didn't pick up where I left off; I was left off at a place much worse than I could have imagined.
I had intense and daily cravings for more than a year. Scare tactics don't tend to work for me, so I needed something else to keep me going. Though I may not have been fully aware of it at the time, but what I needed was a leap of faith that there was a better way for me. Beyond intractable and inconsolable remorse for what I'd done, there was nothing else that kept me going for the first year or so.
There's a kind of suffering that causes pain, and another kind that can change your life. I won't list all the ways in which my life has gotten better, but I've had more than a few pleasant surprises along the way. It takes time and a lot of patience to get to a better place, just like most other things that are worthwhile in life.
This may be the best time you'll ever have to build a better life. Don't drink, and do whatever you need to stay sober. It's the best chance you have to avoid a relapse.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Originally Posted by Optimini
I'm two days away from the big 30 day milestone, well for me that was a big number. I remember when I started coming here I was so enthusiastic about reaching the magic 30th day, and for some reason, I'm less dazzled then I thought I'd be.
I feel I'm past physical cravings, but the last few days the mental or emotional desire to drink came back with a vengeance. I feel I am very clear minded at this point, and now I can really understand how I fell into such a bad habit in the first place.
There's definitely many positive physical improvements I've noticed, I probably would have noticed more if I had eaten a little better instead of allowing myself junk and sweets to compensate, but I'm not beating myself up over it. My next vice I'm going to quit is pop tarts, LOL!
Any advice from the long timers how to reset the enthusiasm with this task?
I feel the biggest lesson I've learned so far is that sobriety is really hard, and life is even harder.
I feel I'm past physical cravings, but the last few days the mental or emotional desire to drink came back with a vengeance. I feel I am very clear minded at this point, and now I can really understand how I fell into such a bad habit in the first place.
There's definitely many positive physical improvements I've noticed, I probably would have noticed more if I had eaten a little better instead of allowing myself junk and sweets to compensate, but I'm not beating myself up over it. My next vice I'm going to quit is pop tarts, LOL!
Any advice from the long timers how to reset the enthusiasm with this task?
I feel the biggest lesson I've learned so far is that sobriety is really hard, and life is even harder.
Originally Posted by Darwinia
Prepare yourself for more of the same. I am 4 months sober and I feel exactly as you do. Socialising is a bore, and the rest is pretty much the same.
and yeah, I thought the price for sobriety, and being not dead, would be an existence of 'meh'.
I also subconsciously thought that this would be the best I'd ever be.
I was wrong on both counts
I found both joy and growth - but it took a little while.
I'd drunk and drugged myself into a stupor that lasted nearly 30 years - it takes a little time for body and mind to repair itself from that. - but it does and it will
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 147
I failed a few times on my first few attempts to get to 30 days so I was pretty happy to accomplish that. Then I figured I'd go for 60. 6 months was cool too. But during the process I came to realize I still had to get through 24 hours sober. I still rely on that at least once a week, if not more when I think about drinking. One day at a time. It's nice to have some sober time but I still have to make sure I put in the work to stay sober
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
I think that you will realize more happiness and joy in your life as you continue recovery. I would ask you what changes have you made in your life besides stopping drinking? I was able to get involved with hobbies that I'd ignored and also some volunteer work which was life-changing. I think if you can be patient and be kind to yourself each day will be better.
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