Katzen

I haven't had a drink since 8/30, so this is my 12th day sober.

I used to only drink at night, and sometimes abstained for days. But after moving into a new house I felt a lot of anxiety being in such a secluded area with my husband gone 14 hours a day, 4 days a week (10 hour days, 4 hours total commute). We have tarantulas all around the property, and they scare me to death (on 2 occasions they came at me while I was using the bathroom.) So I got in the habit of taking a swig (1/2 - 1 oz) of vodka that I hid in the linen closet next to the bathroom every time I needed to go. I never got drunk, just that feeling of the warmth of the vodka going down my throat relaxed me and eased my anxiety. I realized I really needed to quit when I started to feel shaky and very anxious if I didn't have a swig every couple hours, I was then physically addicted and needed it not just for mental anxiety.

I managed to taper off on my own by adding water to my vodka bottle a little each day until around day 6 it tasted like pure water, so that was the end of that. I didn't have any physical withdrawals, though I do have a lot of anxiety esp. when using the bathroom when my husband's not home.

About a week ago I visited the doctor for a sinus infection and honestly told him about how I had started abusing alcohol, I told him how I tapered off on my own but was still concerned about the horror stories I read about people having hallucinations or seizures. At that time I believe I was 5 days sober. He was concerned, saying some people the physical withdrawals start after 5 days or even a week, so he prescribed me Librium, to be taken over 8 days (4,4,3,3,2,2,1,1). I went home took 1 pill and about half an hour later I felt like I hadn't slept in a week and had drank 5 bottles of booze (which I've never done). I couldn't even walk down the hallway without staggering against the walls, tripped over my own feet and fell down hard (thank goodness for thick carpet padding).

In the bathroom I had a weird dizzy spell and fell backwards onto the toilet and have huge bruises on my back and butt. I then passed out in bed and slept at least 12 hours and vowed never to take Librium again, and I didn't.

So I've managed to make it to my 12th sober day, no physical withdrawal symptoms (only problem was when I took the Librium). I feel great, yes sometimes I do feel anxious and wish I could have a swig, but I don't want to get addicted again so I tough it out. I have no physical need or desire to drink.

My husband bought his monthly bottle of bourbon (he has a couple drinks on weekend nights) and a bottle of vodka for me since he noticed I usually had one in the freezer but there wasn't any. I haven't touched it, I don't want to. I don't even really like the taste of it, it was more like a medicine for me, which I no longer need.

Sorry for the long, rambling post, my main reason for posting is I want to know if this is it, I'm on day 12 sober and should I worry at all about having physical withdrawals at this point? (Thinking about that possibility brings on my anxiety, but I refuse to try taking Librium again).

P.S. Not asking for medical advice, but would like to know what others have experienced.

Forward12

Congrats on 12 days! At this point, any kind of serious withdraws should be long gone, but underlying issues may remain that caused you to drink in the first place. I would suggest speaking with a therapist about your anxiety and paranoia issues.

saoutchik

Congratulations on 12 days Katzen

The situation with the tarantulas sounds terrifying, is there no way you can "proof" your house (probably not I suppose)

As regards withdrawal symptoms my estimation is that 12 days is about the limit on physical symptoms although things like sleeping properly, lack of energy and "brain fog" can take quite a while longer

Is there any way you could get out a couple of times a week to take your mind off things?

JK130

I'm glad you're not drinking. What is going on with the tarantulas in the house? That's frightening. And, to me, a terrific reason to stay sober (so you can handle the situation). What do you do when you find them? Congrats again for your new sobriety!

DesertDawg

Katzen, this is my experience, and my experience only:

Whenever I would quit drinking, the worst of acute withdrawal symptoms (shakes, sweating, rapid heart rate, anxiety) always passed by around day 3. I had seizures on two occasions, they were both within the first day without alcohol. However, everyone is different, and some people have reported milder symptoms (such as insomnia or general anxiety) even months after quitting. But I always felt like if I could make it through day 3, the worst was over.

Hope that helps, and congratulations on 12 days.

Soberwolf

This is why having regular monthly check ups through early recovery is well advised and helps with accountability & acceptance

Grats on day 12

Katzen

My problem right now is we live in a very rural area, we do have a hospital with an ER, but they don't take my medical insurance (Kaiser). They would if it was an emergency situation and I was more than 50 miles away from the nearest Kaiser, but there is one about 35 miles away, but due to being in such a rural area it takes more than an hour to drive there. And I hate driving more than a a few miles (have been in 3 bad car accidents, all the other drivers' fault.)

So for now therapy isn't a real possibility for me, I'd be even more anxious just driving there. Also, nearest AA meetings are over 60 miles away (so a good 1 1/2 drive), I think they'd help me but can't handle the drive.

My husband's job makes it very difficult for him to take time off, he recently took his 2 week vacation time when we moved 5 months ago, and he's still trying to catch up on responsibilities at work, so unless it's a life-or-death emergency I wouldn't even want him to take time off.

But thanks to all the wonderful people in these forums that have been supporting me and inspiring me to become and stay sober. I don't post that often, but I'm on here almost every day reading others' experiences and it really helps to know I'm not alone.

Katzen

The tarantulas in the house were a couple months ago, and since then we've had the outside perimeter of the house sprayed with poison (didn't want to spray inside the house, even though they said the stuff they use indoors is "organic" and safe.

They sprayed all around the garage, as well as the entrance from the garage to the house, and haven't seen a tarantula indoors in a couple months. But in the garage, every week there's at least 2-3 dead ones, plus a dozen+ dead crickets, so I guess the poison is working to kill them after they walk across it.

But on day 1 or 2 that I stayed sober I was bitten by something in bed, leg swelled, itches like crazy, can see two bite marks about 1/4" apart, both husband and I believe it was a tarantula. In our bed. That really made me anxious worse than ever, this thing was likely hiding out somewhere in the house, but I was able to tough it out, do deep breathing, and not be anxious enough to drink again (only thing we had at the time was husband's bourbon, which I hate the taste of, anxiety almost made me take a swig, but I toughed it out.)

I now spend time online looking up new recipes (I love to cook, but usually went with our old favorites) then I go out grocery shopping almost every day now (used to do grocery shopping once or twice a week), which is keeping me busy. Not many jobs in this rural farming community other than retail or restaurant, and we don't really need extra money (plus I hate having to be tied to a schedule). I'm hoping if I can continue with sobriety a month or more that I can start volunteering at the local animal shelter, where I wouldn't really be tied down to certain hours each day, they appreciate volunteers coming in when they can.

Thanks for your support and everyone at SR, you all have inspired me to get sober and stay sober.

Katzen

Maybe too much information... But when I use the bathroom I have a can of bug spray and a big heavy box next to the toilet in case another one comes crawling under the door towards me. I am very aware and on the alert, though I haven't seen one in the house in a couple months since the outside was sprayed. But I was bitten by what was likely a tarantula about 10 days ago when I was 1 or 2 days sober while I was in bed. Uber anxiety over that but I resisted drinking.

FLCamper

Good job on 12 days!
My guess is that if you tapered then made it 12 days, you're beyond withdrawals.

Now about the furry friends! I would get a dog or something to chase those pesky things away.

Dee74

Hi Katzen

we're all different but generally, assuming you feel well now, I think it's ok to say that at 12 days your main issue are those darn tarantulas....

D

Katzen

We plan on adopting a dog eventually, but our new house the front yard is beautifully landscaped, the backyard/side yards are unlandscaped, nothing but loose dirt, we didn't realize how expensive it would be to get it landscaped until we got estimates on what our dream backyard would look like, at least $40k plus maybe more due to the poor drainage issues as it floods when it rains (though the house did pass city code.)

So until we get something done with the backyard, no dog for us. I'd love to have cat but my husband hates cats, growing up his family always had a cat or two that clawed up furniture, and we have invested in all new furniture.