Not feeling like I was enough

Old 09-11-2016, 10:30 AM
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Not feeling like I was enough

I starting to feel like I was not good enough for my xah. He never went with me to buy a car but he even took his gf to the dealership. When I talked to him he told me how she cried when her car broke down on the way from the hospital (xah had his 19th stent put in).
He was such an a hole to me for years. He wanted me to put a bed permanently in dining room or living room so he and his friends could party all night. He could wear cologne but I couldn't. The smell was too much for him. I could go on and on and one day I bet I do.
Geez I feel so messed Up! Like I crazy.
I did tell my daughter tho that he ain't gonna like being the man of the house (bc new gf cried and cried About broken down car). Believe me I was the man of the house for decades with that pos.
Why do i feel like I wasn't good enough for him?
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:36 AM
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In my expeience, addicts go after overly responsible grown up women in long term relationships. Think about why he tells you about all the details of his new "relationship".


You are worth much better than that - as for the GF, you have not heard her side of the story, plus it is all new and is bound to deteriorate. Especially if GF is needy and whiny - alcoholics don't like to empathize and want spotlight on them and their problems only.
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Nata1980 View Post
In my expeience, addicts go after overly responsible grown up women in long term relationships. Think about why he tells you about all the details of his new "relationship".


You are worth much better than that - as for the GF, you have not heard her side of the story, plus it is all new and is bound to deteriorate. Especially if GF is needy and whiny - alcoholics don't like to empathize and want spotlight on them and their problems only.
I told him I have two therapists. He said how come all the women I'm with have Therapist? Then asked what meds I was on. Told him I'm not on any meds. So for that and other reasons I think the new gf has issues. I suppose it was a feather in his cap.
I thought I was through with my whining but I guess I'm not. Thanks for responding
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:49 AM
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WHY are you talking to him about personal matters? his or yours? to what end?
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:54 AM
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I don't know why I am. Yea I know i shouldn't have but I did
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Old 09-11-2016, 11:01 AM
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ok,,,and just to close the loop, how did YOU end up feeling AFTERWARDS?

a) BETTER
b) WORSE

addicts aren't the only ones who need to consider the consequences of their choices.....we can hurt ourselves too.

it's called going to the hardware store for bread.........
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Old 09-11-2016, 12:03 PM
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Originally Posted by rae145 View Post
I don't know why I am. Yea I know i shouldn't have but I did
Oh yeah - I would not give out any personal details - everything you say WILL be used against you. I had to request XAH stops giving me details of his recovery/emotional turmoil/whatever - don't care about that at all
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Old 09-11-2016, 12:17 PM
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I would HIGHLY recommend cutting all contact with this guy. Everything he tells you is suspect as far as veracity goes, and motive. Do you really want to waste your time figuring out whether it's true, and if so, why he told you, or what it means?
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Old 09-11-2016, 01:05 PM
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Active alcoholics eagerly seek new enablers when the old one sees the light. If you don't go no contact you'll continue to be dragged along by his craziness.
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