Winter is Coming - corporate wellness assessment
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Winter is Coming - corporate wellness assessment
My work Has a wellness programming like many companies.
I mostly use the activity program for such amazing benefits of earning a pair of athletic socks for 500,000 steps!
I filled out my annual health assessment this week. It had been about 18 mo since I did the last one. I was 11 points higher in health than last time and I was giving myself props like, 'High 5 CodeJob! Not so anxious! Not so depressed! Eating more fruit/veggies!! But then I noticed there was a color banding going on and the chart also compared me to 'most women my age.' My previous score was red and I had moved up to yellow. I was still 10 points from 'green = normal' and most of my warning signs are depression.
This really got me thinking that maybe what I think of as 'normal' is not at all normal. Perhaps I've lived so darkly for so long that even seeing the winter sun is pretty awesome but 'most women my age' are actually enjoying May-June sunshine? I use this sun comparison because my last depressive state kicked in during a Christmas run. I was outside and knew I was depressed and needed to do more than run for the detached from life feeling I was suffering through. This last year I just made it through winter and quite frankly it was mild! I was really anxious about spring coming and this whole summer I've had this fear of fall. I'm afraid of feeling depressed again and I know winter is just not a good time for me. It could be though that what I feel as pretty OK is actually mildly depressed?
So I made an appointment for a physical with my MD for some input from him.
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I mostly use the activity program for such amazing benefits of earning a pair of athletic socks for 500,000 steps!
I filled out my annual health assessment this week. It had been about 18 mo since I did the last one. I was 11 points higher in health than last time and I was giving myself props like, 'High 5 CodeJob! Not so anxious! Not so depressed! Eating more fruit/veggies!! But then I noticed there was a color banding going on and the chart also compared me to 'most women my age.' My previous score was red and I had moved up to yellow. I was still 10 points from 'green = normal' and most of my warning signs are depression.
This really got me thinking that maybe what I think of as 'normal' is not at all normal. Perhaps I've lived so darkly for so long that even seeing the winter sun is pretty awesome but 'most women my age' are actually enjoying May-June sunshine? I use this sun comparison because my last depressive state kicked in during a Christmas run. I was outside and knew I was depressed and needed to do more than run for the detached from life feeling I was suffering through. This last year I just made it through winter and quite frankly it was mild! I was really anxious about spring coming and this whole summer I've had this fear of fall. I'm afraid of feeling depressed again and I know winter is just not a good time for me. It could be though that what I feel as pretty OK is actually mildly depressed?
So I made an appointment for a physical with my MD for some input from him.
:
Sober date 5/1/13
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire UK
Posts: 3,547
I suffer from Seasonally Affected Disorder and find a very bright light in my field of vision for 20 minutes each morning helps lift the winter blues. Better still is getting outside if the weather permits.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 786
CJ,
Good for you noticing the difference between you and "average"...I remember wondering if I should lie on a few of those wellness questions because I knew they were searching for depression (and I was definitely there). I didn't though because what good would that do? Lol
Don't let the fact that you're still yellow bring you down --you just jumped up from RED!!! You're making great improvements and headed in the right direction.
One thing I ultimately realized in my life was that for so many years I had tethered my life to someone else's who was unhappy and drained me instead of lifting me. I didn't realize it until it was gone. You've done an amazing job toughing things out and making them work in your own way with your RAH. I wonder sometimes if you'd feel a weight lift if you were free of the "husband/wife" part of that relationship and could just be friends. Just a thought, and I don't mean to question you at all--I highly respect what you're doing. I just sometimes feel like you're held back from being the full you.
I also struggle in the winter months. I run more when I can. When I was in my lowest I even bought one of those lights that's supposed to help replace sunlight. I have no idea if it works.
One thing that does work for me is to have more social plans and things I'm looking forward to through January and February. But then sometimes that just seems like work, haha.
This isn't a setback, just a realization that you are on a longer path...and good for you for the progress you're making!
Good for you noticing the difference between you and "average"...I remember wondering if I should lie on a few of those wellness questions because I knew they were searching for depression (and I was definitely there). I didn't though because what good would that do? Lol
Don't let the fact that you're still yellow bring you down --you just jumped up from RED!!! You're making great improvements and headed in the right direction.
One thing I ultimately realized in my life was that for so many years I had tethered my life to someone else's who was unhappy and drained me instead of lifting me. I didn't realize it until it was gone. You've done an amazing job toughing things out and making them work in your own way with your RAH. I wonder sometimes if you'd feel a weight lift if you were free of the "husband/wife" part of that relationship and could just be friends. Just a thought, and I don't mean to question you at all--I highly respect what you're doing. I just sometimes feel like you're held back from being the full you.
I also struggle in the winter months. I run more when I can. When I was in my lowest I even bought one of those lights that's supposed to help replace sunlight. I have no idea if it works.
One thing that does work for me is to have more social plans and things I'm looking forward to through January and February. But then sometimes that just seems like work, haha. This isn't a setback, just a realization that you are on a longer path...and good for you for the progress you're making!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
CodeJob, just wanted to give you some well-deserved kudos. You're making good progress, and progress is what it's all about, right?
On the one hand, it's good that you noticed that your idea about normal may not sync up w/others' idea of normal. Sometimes we've lowered our bar so much that we just don't have any idea what our reasonable expectations could be any more, and as a result, we accept way too little.
On the other hand, you've gotta factor in where you personally are starting from and what your individual situation is when you look at where you are. It's not an isolated moment in time, it's part of a journey and makes the most sense when viewed w/that perspective.
I've told this story on myself before and will repeat it once more: Several years ago, I was doing an indoor triathlon. It was poorly organized and many of us were standing in line waiting for a pool lane to do the swim component. The gal behind me was very overweight and I started having a lot of judgmental thoughts about how she should have lost some weight and done some training before signing up for this event and don't people take this stuff seriously, blah blah... Well, she struck up a conversation w/me while we waited. Turned out she'd seen this event going on the previous year, was inspired and decided she was going to participate next time, not just watch. Over the course of the year, she'd worked out every day and lost a bit over 100 lbs. Was she going to win, or even win an age group? Not very likely, but what mattered was the journey, the fact that she was standing on the starting line after working for a year to get there, and ecstatic about it.
I felt about an inch high. My little judgmental snapshot in time totally lacked any perspective about where she'd been and what she'd done to get to where she was that day. The panoramic view was way different and most humbling. I've never forgotten it and hope I never do.
What I'm trying to say is that you don't exist in a vacuum--look at the big picture as well as those numbers. And again, great job in making the changes you've made!
On the one hand, it's good that you noticed that your idea about normal may not sync up w/others' idea of normal. Sometimes we've lowered our bar so much that we just don't have any idea what our reasonable expectations could be any more, and as a result, we accept way too little.
On the other hand, you've gotta factor in where you personally are starting from and what your individual situation is when you look at where you are. It's not an isolated moment in time, it's part of a journey and makes the most sense when viewed w/that perspective.
I've told this story on myself before and will repeat it once more: Several years ago, I was doing an indoor triathlon. It was poorly organized and many of us were standing in line waiting for a pool lane to do the swim component. The gal behind me was very overweight and I started having a lot of judgmental thoughts about how she should have lost some weight and done some training before signing up for this event and don't people take this stuff seriously, blah blah... Well, she struck up a conversation w/me while we waited. Turned out she'd seen this event going on the previous year, was inspired and decided she was going to participate next time, not just watch. Over the course of the year, she'd worked out every day and lost a bit over 100 lbs. Was she going to win, or even win an age group? Not very likely, but what mattered was the journey, the fact that she was standing on the starting line after working for a year to get there, and ecstatic about it.
I felt about an inch high. My little judgmental snapshot in time totally lacked any perspective about where she'd been and what she'd done to get to where she was that day. The panoramic view was way different and most humbling. I've never forgotten it and hope I never do.
What I'm trying to say is that you don't exist in a vacuum--look at the big picture as well as those numbers. And again, great job in making the changes you've made!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
I too suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder and usually start to notice changes in mood late Sept-October. Like Treerat said, I too got a light and try to spend time in front of it in the dark mornings.
Quitting drinking really helped me last year minimize the duration of my depressions. I had a cloud over me most years from Oct-April. Last year, I had minor stretches of a few days, but not the daily soul crushing blackness that consumed all my energy.
People forget that alcohol is a major depressant. I used to drink to relieve my depression. It was like pouring gasoline on a raging fire. If this is your first Fall/Winter sober, you may be surprised how much better you will feel mentally.
Quitting drinking really helped me last year minimize the duration of my depressions. I had a cloud over me most years from Oct-April. Last year, I had minor stretches of a few days, but not the daily soul crushing blackness that consumed all my energy.
People forget that alcohol is a major depressant. I used to drink to relieve my depression. It was like pouring gasoline on a raging fire. If this is your first Fall/Winter sober, you may be surprised how much better you will feel mentally.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I think it's a pretty great awareness about yourself CJ and I agree with honeypig about factoring in the journey & growth.
SAD is a serious obstacle for a lot of people & I was surprised to find out from my doctor that just being in the sun for the recommended amount of time isn't enough - he said it isn't what you absorb through your arms/legs that matters so much because your body absorbs Vit D through your trunk more affectively. Also that Vit D absorption is different for everyone (age, weight, skin color all change the way we process/produce this vitamin... I'm a redhead & part of my superpowers are that I can produce my own Vit D internally.
On the flip side, someone with dark skin would have to expose themselves to more than the suggested amt of sunshine in order to absorb the same amt of Vit D as me.... which is dangerous in terms of skin health.) He said that your best bet is to check your levels via a blood test & supplement via dietary & OTC vits as necessary.
I think you're doing great - steady, sustainable forward progress like this is the way to go!
SAD is a serious obstacle for a lot of people & I was surprised to find out from my doctor that just being in the sun for the recommended amount of time isn't enough - he said it isn't what you absorb through your arms/legs that matters so much because your body absorbs Vit D through your trunk more affectively. Also that Vit D absorption is different for everyone (age, weight, skin color all change the way we process/produce this vitamin... I'm a redhead & part of my superpowers are that I can produce my own Vit D internally.
On the flip side, someone with dark skin would have to expose themselves to more than the suggested amt of sunshine in order to absorb the same amt of Vit D as me.... which is dangerous in terms of skin health.) He said that your best bet is to check your levels via a blood test & supplement via dietary & OTC vits as necessary.I think you're doing great - steady, sustainable forward progress like this is the way to go!
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
CJ,
Thinking of you today, and so glad to see this thread.
I want to more fully enjoy this coming winter season, and typically winters have been very hard for my emotions, my energy, my mental health.
It hasn't been long since my last check up with my doctor, yet I'm making another appointment today. Vitamin D is a huge player for me and we've done mega-doses through some past winters. Time to get my blood levels checked and see where I'm starting at... thinking out loud here.
Thank you, my friend. I love how your post from last year is just what I needed today.
KTF
Thinking of you today, and so glad to see this thread.
I want to more fully enjoy this coming winter season, and typically winters have been very hard for my emotions, my energy, my mental health.
It hasn't been long since my last check up with my doctor, yet I'm making another appointment today. Vitamin D is a huge player for me and we've done mega-doses through some past winters. Time to get my blood levels checked and see where I'm starting at... thinking out loud here.
Thank you, my friend. I love how your post from last year is just what I needed today.
KTF
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,004
Hi KTF, I'm another who gets a bit down in the winter. I don't think it is Seasonal Affective disorder but just can't spend as much time out doors . . . well I can but it isn't as pleasant.
Anyhow it is the time to double down on exercise and self care . . . always a challenge for me.
Anyhow it is the time to double down on exercise and self care . . . always a challenge for me.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
I tend to wish I could just hibernate some years. But I can't do that...so there's got to be a better way of getting through the cold...brrrr....even my cat doesn't like the temps in the '30's that we're having lately. Poor kitty. He likes to go outside for awhile everyday...but lately? No, right back in. Is there such a thing as animals having SAD?
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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Originally Posted by Treerat66 
I suffer from Seasonally Affected Disorder and find a very bright light in my field of vision for 20 minutes each morning helps lift the winter blues. Better still is getting outside if the weather permits.
I really hope to ENJOY this winter more.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi CJ, we don't have a harsh winter here so SAD doesn't tend to be a thing, but I certainly related to you wondering whether we create our own normal without knowing where others sit.
It's given me something to think about regarding myself. Hope you get through winter with good spirits, and congratulations for taking the hard actions that have improved your score so much.
It's given me something to think about regarding myself. Hope you get through winter with good spirits, and congratulations for taking the hard actions that have improved your score so much.
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