Sister
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Attleboro MA
Posts: 3
Sister
I am looking to find support from someone who has been threw same situation.
I am dealing with a younger sister (10yrs) who has had drug and alcohol issues since a teen (shes 33) Dcf has placed her child with me twice cause of her actions and she is still not taking any blame and shes not speaking to me she has written off all of us.
I am dealing with a younger sister (10yrs) who has had drug and alcohol issues since a teen (shes 33) Dcf has placed her child with me twice cause of her actions and she is still not taking any blame and shes not speaking to me she has written off all of us.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 468
Welcome, purplerosetlm 
I am sorry for what brings you here. All of us on the friends and family forum have loved ones who are on or have gone down the dark, painful, tortuous road of addiction. Please know, you and your family are not alone in this.
Unfortunately, it sounds like your sister may still in the throws of alcohol/drug use. Is that true? If so, you are in a limbo period that you cannot do much about. You cannot control whether she chooses to stop and get help. You cannot control whether she takes steps to get her child back. The one thing you CAN do is take care of yourself while lovingly detaching from her and her actions. If/when she is ready for real help, you can be there, but don't try to facilitate it. She must choose to take the steps. I understand this is hard because you love her and you have responsibility of her child now, but it is what you must do.
Be patient, and others will come along with more advice. Keep coming back.
I am sorry for what brings you here. All of us on the friends and family forum have loved ones who are on or have gone down the dark, painful, tortuous road of addiction. Please know, you and your family are not alone in this.
Unfortunately, it sounds like your sister may still in the throws of alcohol/drug use. Is that true? If so, you are in a limbo period that you cannot do much about. You cannot control whether she chooses to stop and get help. You cannot control whether she takes steps to get her child back. The one thing you CAN do is take care of yourself while lovingly detaching from her and her actions. If/when she is ready for real help, you can be there, but don't try to facilitate it. She must choose to take the steps. I understand this is hard because you love her and you have responsibility of her child now, but it is what you must do.
Be patient, and others will come along with more advice. Keep coming back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Attleboro MA
Posts: 3
Sister
Ive had her son twice, he is now back with her but DCF has custody and she has things she has to do I just pray she does cause i dont know if I can keep doing this. She makes me like the bad guy tells people im trying to steal her son i am not the one who is getting him taken away, im just the one who is there when she cant do her job! she has told everyone off who has told her she needs help and has not contacted us. I know all I can do is pray she gets it this time and pray that if she doesnt that no one get hurt or killed. Just a tough situation all together.
Thank you for listening
Thank you for listening
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Purplerose,
I'm grateful that your nephew has you to rely on! He has at least one stable person in his life. I take it the Dad is not in picture?
And yes, while in active addiction, your sister's world view will be that everyone else is the 'bad guy' so that she can be the victim and continue to drink/use. It keeps her from having to really look at her own behavior and take responsibility for it. Classic active addiction at work.
It is a tough situation, and I'm sorry that you find yourself here...but I am glad you found us. Please know you can always come here for support and understanding. Have you considered finding some sort of face-2-face support where you live? Maybe Al-Anon meetings or counseling or speaking to someone at your church, if you have one you attend? You deserve support too!!
Take care of yourself and that precious little nephew!
I'm grateful that your nephew has you to rely on! He has at least one stable person in his life. I take it the Dad is not in picture?
And yes, while in active addiction, your sister's world view will be that everyone else is the 'bad guy' so that she can be the victim and continue to drink/use. It keeps her from having to really look at her own behavior and take responsibility for it. Classic active addiction at work.
It is a tough situation, and I'm sorry that you find yourself here...but I am glad you found us. Please know you can always come here for support and understanding. Have you considered finding some sort of face-2-face support where you live? Maybe Al-Anon meetings or counseling or speaking to someone at your church, if you have one you attend? You deserve support too!!
Take care of yourself and that precious little nephew!
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