Jtmlk

So my adventure into moderation showed me what a complete idiot i am. I have drunk for about 10 days between august and now - first of all i drunk just at weekends then very quickly it became more difficult to have 4 then 3 then 2 days sober inbetween.
Its time to say stop completely - ive tried to think about why I made the decision to drink and i can only come up with always having a desire to punnish myself due to my emotionally unstable personality disorder ( that the psychiatrist hinted i may have).
I still dont enjoy drinking- in fact i find lime and soda more refreshing- when i drink its until drunk as i can get.
In fact my brain tells me the 5 .5 months of sobriety where the best my life has been.
My uric acid level has returned to dangerously high and an attack is imminent - have started taking meds for it again.
I just feel foolish so so foolish.
So day one again today- as a fat unfit person i need to get training for a half marathon ive been booked onto early next year- have been doing regular excercise but need to step it up dramatically. I also need to finally get a job again .
Hopefully this will be the last day one but im the only person who can make this true and the only person who can decide to have a drink.

JD

You've got the right attitude. You are the only one who can decide to drink or not. And if you're like me, why would you want to drink moderately? I'm all in our not. And not is a lot better.

waywardson8260

I've found out the hard way that "moderation" never worked for me either. Congratulations on your determination to get sober and good luck on your training for a half marathon! Like you said only you can make it happen!

Soberpotamus

One thing I remind myself from time to time about moderation is that if I could moderate and drink the suggested minimal limits, then drinking wouldn't be a craving. I wouldn't have been a drunk. I would've been a moderate drinker who could've easily lived without drinking alcohol.

But that's not my reality.

Maudcat

Moderation never worked for me. Had to give it up completely. You should try it. Take it step by step, remembering that you are not drinking at this moment. I cannot describe how absurdly pleased I was after a few days of not drinking. I felt empowered, finally. I still have that feeling.

january161992

reminds me of the book

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.

Fluffer

Nobody has to take that first drink. You can do it, buddy! Keep us posted.