Stewy84

Hey, in recent weeks I've been going out on Friday with my neighbour and a few of his mates to the pub for a couple of drinks. He has noted that I've been living on my own the last few weeks and he was doing a good thing by inviting me out so I have some company and can chat with the lads.

I'm supposed to be going out this week but at the moment I'm not really up for going to the pub. It just doesn't seem like a fun environment anymore and I end up getting in quite late and it screws my sleep up a bit for the next day.

That said, my neighbour is also a friend and a trusted confidant and I do not wish to cause him any offence by declining the invite however I'm quite clear I don't want to go.

The invitation will most likely keep coming which may cause issue in the future.

How do I politely decline (I have already agreed in principle) without having to provide any particular details about previous issues with alcohol whilst also stressing that I would still like to spend with him and the other lads.

He also asked me to drive this week, so it's a double whammy dissapointment

Any suggestions?

LadyBlue0527

If your neighbor is a friend and trusted confidant why can't you be honest with him?

Easy words are "Right now a bar is not a good place for me, if you guys want to do something that doesn't involve drinking then I'm completely up for it".

If he begins to ask questions, and is a true friend and confidant, then telling him that you need to step away from the alcohol shouldn't be an issue.

If it is an issue then I would then question if he's really a friend.

A lot of my issues with not going out with friends had more to do with my disappointment than theirs. This may not be the case with you but it's something to consider. True friends are not going to care if you don't go drinking with them.

MissPerfumado

Great advice from LadyBlue. My thoughts exactly but expressed far more clearly than I would have done.

Tonymblue

For me "Honesty is the best policy" has been the best thing for me. After my last bender, which left me with the worst withdrawals ive ever had. I became brutally honest with myself and others. I feel this day and age people are more willing to accept it when you tell them you have a drinking problem.

MLD51

I totally agree with everyone else. I was completely honest with my friends when I quit. They are very understanding, and willing to do things other than sit in bars with me. You might be surprised how accepting your friend will be.

Soberwolf

Just say thanks but you don't fancy it for a while nothing personal

Dee74

Lots of good advice here.
Keep it simple Stew
D

Optimini

I had a similar thing, the office happy hour. When I skipped it with no explanation I was getting texts and comments about me "bailing out". So I was honest with my friends and I said that drinking is just not a part of my personal and professional goals and it's holding me back. I felt the response was better than I expected....I offered to go out to lunch with people if they missed me that much.
Bow out nicely, and maybe offer another non-drinking outing to your friend.

kittycat3

Remember that you don't have to confess to any problems or issues with alcohol if you don't want to. You can just say, I'm making some changes and I'll be unable to join you at the bar...or similar (something in your own words.)
no need to confess your sins, keep it simple