marbles71

I have been living with her for 6 months, I found a meth pipe in her purse - twice - and both times she came up with excuses for that... not mine... my friend's, blah, blah, blah... I have found little ziploc bags around a couple of times, she accepted she used "Speed" long time ago and the bags may be from that "long time ago"... yesterday... I found a little bag with Crystal Meth (no doubt about it) and an empty one next to it in her bag... I left them there and mentioned nothing...
When I found the crack pipes she got EXTREMELY offended that I didn't trust her and why I checked her bag (I know it was wrong but I had my doubts which seemed to be correct).
Now with having found a bag with actual drug in it... I am not sure how to approach this as I really want to help her and I would be ready to help her but she has to accept her addiction... there are too many "coincidences" to even believe she is not using it... and yes, she has many of the symptoms of meth users.
I am extremely unsure when she uses it or even how to recognize when she is on a high or a low... any help and advise would be welcome.
PS. She is adamant she "doesn't" use drugs and is offended at the mention of me even hinting it...

Lightning Bug

Denial is a pretty powerful force for an addict, especially when they are confronted with the truth. You can't do anything though, acceptance and action has to come from her. It is hard to see someone take this path, you feel powerless to help. There is a friend's and family forum here. You need support. I hope you'll post.

Dee74

I'm sorry for whats bought you here, but you'll find support here Marbles.

It's hard to make someone who's in the midst of an addiction admit something if they don't want to.

I remember vehemently denying I was an alcoholic. I just wasn't ready to do that and I deeply regret I took my loved ones on that ride with me before I broke through my denial.

Have you considered support for yourself? things like NarAnon etc?

Nar-Anon Australia

D

marbles71

I appreciate your words and I am thinking long and hard about this relationship... very hard... I do feel addicts are very good manipulators and know well "how to get out of these things".
I know there's a lot of evidence to 'prove' there's something really wrong going on and - being a good and kind person as I am - it feels wrong to make a decision without a (so to speak) smoking gun...
I still don't know where she does it or exactly when, which is what makes me hesitate.
I hope I am not "falling for it" as the comments above are overwhelming

january161992

hello marbles

God bless

Soberwolf

Hi Marbles

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Marbles!!

gettingsmarter

Finding the pipes and the bag of meth is a smoking gun. No doubt about it. Addicts are fantastic liars. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

uncorked

Hi Marbles, yeah, sounds like something's up. Is this what you want for your life? Sometimes it takes people years -- if ever -- to admit they have a problem and then do something about it. (Me, for instance...) If you don't want to live that kind of lifestyle, where you're always questioning, doubting, searching for "clues" -- then don't. I'm assuming you don't have kids. Makes it much easier.

marbles71

We just broke up for "different reasons" however it is being difficult for me as I do have feelings for her and (rightly or wrongly) I thought I could help her; even today she never accepted she is using it.
I feel my heart is aching and my head is thanking it but such is life I guess.
I appreciate all your help and comments...

uncorked

Awww, marbles, I'm so sorry. Breaking up is always hard to do when you still have feelings for the other person -- even if it's the right decision. You probably know that you can't "save" her or help her. She has to want it for herself. Now stay away from damsels in distress! :-) Hugs.

lexilynn

Hi Marbles, my advice is to stay out of her belongings, as you mentioned, you know it's wrong. You are right.

What you can do is accept she uses meth and stay with her or accept she uses meth and leave her.
Either way seek help for yourself, there is nothing you can do for her if she is not ready,

I suggest that you attend Alanon for yourself. Hugs