endlesspatience

So I had a slip ten days ago and I'm trying to keep quiet about it or tell myself it doesn't matter. Actually, it was a shame to waste my sober time for that new glasses of wine. I've been sober since then and I went back to AA today but I only listened to the chair and didn't stay for the discussion. Also, my sponsor called yesterday but I didn't get back to him.

I think it's time to take some responsibility for staying sober now.

TorontoGuy28

Thanks for posting.

Why do you think you drank ? It is absolutely critical to understand your triggers.

Tonymblue

We all have slips. I feel it's a part of recovery. You dusted yourself off and got back on the sobriety train. You should be proud of that. You're doing great.

mecanix

Hey Endless ,
sorry to hear you had a slip .

for me drinking isn't part of recovery, like falling of a bike isn't cycling .

Why not talk to your sponsor ? I think they might have guessed why you've gone quiet ...

Isolation and keeping quiet just when we need the help is something thats pretty normal for us drunks . the AV feeds on shame and isolation .

Make sobriety your no1 priority .

Bestwishes, m

tomsteve

no,tony, we dont all have slips and it is NOT part of recovery.
it is part of active alcoholism.


endless,PLEASE dont believe the lie that it doesnt matter. and it all honesty, i dont think it was a waste. it could be a very useful lesson for you to see the seriousness of alcoholism.
PLEASE call your sponsor!

Verdantia

It does matter, but please don't beat yourself up over up. I have had many relapses and I learned from them. Get back up and keep on going in your sobriety. Sending you best wishes.

2muchpain

Sounds like you learned a valuable lesson, but I wouldn't wait too long to connect with your sponsor. Important to dive right back in and go to meetings and connect with the people there. John

Nonsensical

Getting drunk doesn't erase sober time any more than being sober erases drunk time. That sober time is yours. You did it.

Go do it again. Rootin' for ya!

ScottFromWI

Sounds like you know exactly what needs to happen, kudos on coming here and owning up...especially to yourself. Make the call to your sponsor and tell your AV that it DOES matter.

FreeOwl

welcome back.

next meeting, stay for the whole thing.

I recently watched a friend of mine going through DT's.

I stand helplessly by as his life continues to swirl downward.

He'll be homeless soon. Has lost his job. Has lost all relationships. Has lost his health. Is losing his mind.

Seeing it up close and personal like that was a shock.

I'm grateful I chose sobriety and turned my life around well before that stage.... but it's also a glaring reminder of how close I came. How easily that could be me.

Shaking uncontrollably. Crying miserably. Convinced of my worthlessness. Wishing for death - believing it to be a better option.

Can you envision that? Can you hold an image of yourself at that terrible precipice? Can you see yourself despairing so deeply and woefully that drinking, sobriety and death all seem equally horrific prospects? Because that's where this leads. That's what's waiting for you. It could be decades away. It could be months. The truly terrifying fact is that we just don't know. We carry on, believing that possibility to be in some far-flung future. Or worse, believing it will 'never happen to me'.

But it does. It does and that is what waits in the shadows of the game we are playing with every time we choose to continue descending the elevator shaft of addiction.

It's nothing to play with.

Get out, while you have the capacity to do so. Before you wind up truly trapped. Or dead.

Surely, surely that's enough to at least stay for the whole meeting. Maybe even enough to embrace sobriety - if only for today..... each new day.....

Dee74

Welcome back EP.
I think taking that responsibility is vital

D