thephoenixrises

This has been such a HUGE learning curve for me-my friends dad is in the hospital. I went to visit him today. He's older and has been a daily drinker (mostly drunk lately) for decades. It was surreal to watch the denial in his family-and in him. He told the doctor he drank "a couple of drinks" per day. (Insert my : wha?!? What is it about alcoholics and the code of "a couple"?!). Naturally the doctors know nothing of his drinking so he was told basically, aw, you're fine man, you know hearts just kind of get slow when you're older so we will give you a pacemaker and fix you right up. But take care of yourself bc you were close to having a stroke.

Hmmm, yeah, it COULDNT be the alcohol ???? Nah, that's not it.

Another one, I fear, lost to it completely. And I watched the family discuss how he's too old to change and too set in his ways, his wife even stated the same about herself when I casually mentioned Alanon as a means of support. She's too prideful to even fathom that SHE needs help.

Yikes. Yikes. Yikes.

Just .... Wow.

letitend

Denial runs deep. I mean if you look at it from across different topics even, a lot of life is controlled by denial. And the cycle of dysfunction in families from addiction in this country just seems outrageous and out of control.

I suppose that's why it is said here that one can only truly mind his/her own side of the street. One can't change another. One can plant seeds and hopefully they take root.

healthyagain

I am pretty sure doctors know, because they do run diagnostic tests, and these never lie. My ex tried to fool everyone saying he had a "small heart attack."

They can only advise your friends dad, mention that he should avoid alcohol, but unless he wants to be treated for alcoholism, they "fix" the fixable body damage because it is their job, and that is what they do.