Optimini

Oh boy, what a crazy few days it's been. Work's picked up and other life events made this weekend super busy and I started my week exhausted. Massive cravings starting kicking in yesterday. Even though things are good, it's still stressful and that's definitely my trigger, the need to 'wind down'.
I finally got to the grocery store today, I've been out of food for at least 5 days and have been eating out alot, which sucks.
My AV gave me every line in the book - I heard that red wine has health benefits, that I've done such a great job with x, y & z in my life and I deserve some vodka - which doesn't have many calories, etc.
I'm home with a diet pepsi and I also munched on a couple of bacon croutons. Yes, that's a real thing! LOL
I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep up with conversations and posts in some of the threads. Very happy to have found this place.

cwood3

bacon and bacon accessories is now a separate food group of it's own

Optimini

Indeed! I thought they might be fun to throw on some brussel sprouts. That was definitely an impulse item.

dwtbd

Bacon is so good, when added to bacon it makes the bacon even better I like bacon, great job kicking some AV butt !

Nonsensical

In addition to being delicious, bacon will travel through your neuron pathways, find your AV, and club it in the head.

Bacon>>> <<<AV

The science is complicated, but I read about it on the interwebs, so you know it's true.

Great job yesterday! You're doing this!

Della1968

Love bacon!! Great job!!

August252015

Before I switched to copious amounts of vodka at the end of my drinking, I was a copious wine drinker.

Now, when I go to the grocery, I glare at the end caps with all the wine bottles. On Sun, I had my first friend tell me she had gone back out, nearly ODed and was going back inpatient; all this right before we were supposed to have lunch.

I went to the grocery later in the day and I swear my first thought when I say the displays was "wine is the devil."

Glare, move on, get my veggies or my bacon, and get out!

Good job fighting the AV- and now, get some sleep and eat better

PS may I suggest not going to the store when you are so tired and probably hungry? At 6mo I still have to just NOT do things when I am either of these.

MLD51

Good job ignoring that AV, Optimini. Whenever my AV acts up (more and more rare these days, thank goodness) I just play a tape or two in my head. Remember an embarrassing or dangerous drinking incident, or try to imagine what could and probably would happen if I drank. That's always enough to get my AV to shut up. That AV is nothing but a big fat liar that wants to see you fail and ruin the rest of your life.

Optimini

Thanks everyone for the support. I was pretty bummed even to have such strong cravings. August - I'm usually very good about keeping a stocked fridge, and going to the store regularly. I rescued a dog this weekend and it's going very well, but I'm sure some on here know it's a ton of work at first! So that is part of the reason I'm so tired. Today is a better day
And yes, wine is the devil and I did remind myself of WHY I quit. I didn't think it was an emergency enough to text my sober friend, because the alcohol aisle was at the end of the store (next to the veggies, stupid right?) so I just rushed by and got my veggies and then left.
This is my tough time now....I'm over 2 weeks and I kind of feel the next big number is 30 days. And now it's busy at work, good busy, but I guess I'm just an anxious person by nature. I reminded myself of what happened the last few times I quit for 2-3 weeks - first I get that little black box of wine (which is 3 glasses). I say I'm going to split it with my husband but I usually down that before he gets home. Then I'll text him to tell him, pick up a bottle of wine which we split over dinner, then we will both usually go to the store and buy liquor. By the end of the night, I would have drank 7-10 drinks. And I bet my sober time off wouldn't stop me from going right back to that scenario.
I just rushed right home and checked in here. Today is a new day!

Optimini

Also, thanks from the bacon enthusiasts, you guys make me laugh!

cwood3

bacon sprinkles on top of ice cream...........how do I contact the patent office??

graciepearl

I admit to flipping off the pretty wine bottles

MLD51

I have flipped off wine bottles, too. Wine was my DOC. Because, you know, I'm a lady. Ladies drink wine, right?? Sure they do - a glass or two, not a BOTTLE or two. So yeah - I flip off the wine bottles. That's not very ladylike, but I don't care.

EndGameNYC

AVs are portable. You literally cannot leave home without it. The best you can do is learn to shut it down as soon as it starts. I can guarantee that you're not missing anything other than misery.

PurpleKnight

Great job on pushing through Optimini!!

hpdw

Shopping at Asda last weekend got a text from wife to buy vodka for some cousin of hers visiting from Australia , she did,t think , I didn't think . I wandered into one of the 3 booze isles and found the clear stuff , as quick as I could I had one in the trolley . Immediately went to the snacks / cold food area and found a huge Melton Mowbray pork pie ( I was hungry ) . The AV was trying but I was using the pork pie as a distraction , missed a dozen things i needed but wanted out , enjoyed the pork pie driving on the way home . Probably about 1000 calories but it shut the AV up lol .

Good for you Opti

Optimini

I guess it's encouraging to hear other people still have the same issues. I started getting upset about it thinking that if I felt this way now, there's no way I can quit forever. That AV is really evil. Thomas59 - I've been eating pop tarts since being sober. I'd rather have the 200 calories in one of those instead of the 1500-2000 from drinks. Even using calorie free mixers I'm sure I downed at least over 1000 cals in drinks on a regular basis.

ExDrinkingCub

Just remember it is not an "Us vs Forever" battle. That trips me up sometimes too. Forever is a really long time, but at the end of forever at least on this world we are dead too, along with the AV. So just today you are thinking about your AV, and hopefully tomorrow it will be a little more quiet. I'm on 5 weeks and it's mostly quiet, but when it sparks up to misbehave I focus on reminding myself what it is, and what I don't want. And I don't want to drink again, even if it feels like a good idea for a few minutes, just a slight misdirection and the moment is over. Good job! Always better to talk about it.

MLD51

Talking about it works for me, too. A couple of weeks ago I was at a friend's house watching a movie. He was having a cocktail. Suddenly, I looked at his glass and thought "that looks good." It scared me. So I told my friend what I was thinking right in that moment. He asked me if I wanted him to pour it out. I said no, that just saying it out loud was all I needed. He was so worried, though. He's been one of my biggest supporters, and always asks me if it's ok if he drinks around me. Usually it's fine and doesn't bother me at all. Just that one day, it was tempting for a second or two.