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Teetotal Life: Mode/On

Old 08-29-2016, 08:38 AM
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Teetotal Life: Mode/On

Goal 1: One year teetotal
Week 1

Setting longish term goals is like running a marathon. If I start the marathon thinking to myself "Jesus, I have 26 miles ahead of me" it can mentally seem very heavy and very daunting. I can almost be defeated before I start. To run a marathon smartly you break it down into manageable chunks and you plan exactly at what speed you're going to run these chunks and at what time you wish to complete them.

Probably that's why most people find the "quit drinking forever" daunting, because forever seems so vast.

Me I like structured goals and find I work better when I have goals to aim for. I have more of a sense of urgency about my days. Anyone that knows anything about setting goals knows these few things:

1. Write down your goals (commitment and consistency rule)
2. Be specific, very specific
3. Be realistic
4. Have an end date in mind

So first goal: Teetotal one year. (marathon planning taking into consideration)

Reflections:
1. I'm quitting a poisonous substance, there is nothing to give up
2. Alcohol or other drugs give me nothing, it's DELUSIONAL thinking to think that they give anything
3. Alcohol is a socially acceptable drug (highly taxed) and for this I have thought before "Why me?" etc etc and started drinking to fit in with the so called "normal drinkers". This too is DELUSIONAL thinking: Alcohol wrecks so many lives and the evidence is all around. It's not "just me" or a small percentage, it's a big number.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/...-cent-one-year
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/...-record-rates/
4. I don't need it, ever
5. It does't make me more sociable, in fact in a weird way it makes me anti social and slightly dumb as it deadens my senses.
6. Alcohol brings a lot of master guests to the after party: anxiety, depression, remorse, paranoia etc I don't need any of that
7. Alcohol leads to poverty
8. And shite health
9. Nothing cures thirst like water

It's better to be natural, like an animal.
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Old 08-29-2016, 08:44 AM
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I personally have found it easier having no goals at all,

I've got no targets or any challenges,

I simply do not drink alcohol anymore. It's very similar to how I don't eat vindaloo curries anymore because they have an adverse reaction to me.

Good luck with your sobriety though, whatever works for you is great

Bruno.
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Old 08-29-2016, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Bruno1979 View Post
I personally have found it easier having no goals at all,

I've got no targets or any challenges,

I simply do not drink alcohol anymore. It's very similar to how I don't eat vindaloo curries anymore because they have an adverse reaction to me.

Good luck with your sobriety though, whatever works for you is great

Bruno.
No targets or any challenges with regards to alcohol I hope you mean and not life...

Ok then, so answer me this: Do you count days/weeks/months/years since you don't drink alcohol anymore?

Do you have a sobriety clock? Like so many people come on here and they state their "sobriety clock". I often wonder does it do any good counting days, like you have alluded. (Granted some use their sobriety clock as a form of superiority but that's another issue)

So if you don't count your sobriety days then I applaud you and I see your point about how it's just like the fact that that you don't eat vindaloo curries anymore because you have an adverse reaction.

However, if you do have a sobriety clock it would beg the logical question of whether you have a clock for your vindaloo curries too? And if not why not?

Also, if you just don't drink anymore just like you don't eat vindaloo curries anymore, are you on a website committed to not eating vindaloo curries? if not, why not?

I mean if it's just as easy as that, why bother being on a sobriety website? Why feel the need?
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Old 08-29-2016, 09:00 AM
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Thats a great list and so very true. But you should call it a double marathon seeing as each week is 1 mile. 26 miles/ marathon 52 miles/ double marathon.
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Old 08-29-2016, 09:16 AM
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Number 6.... Very well put.
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Old 08-29-2016, 09:20 AM
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Congratulations Nalanda
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Old 08-29-2016, 10:17 AM
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I'm mostly of the mindset that, I worry about today. I won't drink today. My mind turns deadlines into pressure, and I don't do pressure well. Everyone is different, though.

I do count sober days (day is day 110). I think it's because I'm stubborn as heck and do not want to start over, or worse tell other people I'm needing to start over, so it works for me.

The most important thing, though, is to stop, however you go about it. Congrats on that!
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Old 08-29-2016, 10:24 AM
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Yeah, every time I had a goal like that, I was (consciously or not) counting the days until I could say, "Hey, I made it! Now I can drink again!"

I celebrated (and still celebrate) milestones like x number of days sober, or months, or years (just celebrated eight years). But having a "goal" or an endpoint in sight, has always tripped me up.

Nowadays my goal is to die sober--hopefully a long time from now. With no drinking in the interim.
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Old 08-29-2016, 10:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Nalanda View Post
No targets or any challenges with regards to alcohol I hope you mean and not life...

Ok then, so answer me this: Do you count days/weeks/months/years since you don't drink alcohol anymore?

Do you have a sobriety clock? Like so many people come on here and they state their "sobriety clock". I often wonder does it do any good counting days, like you have alluded. (Granted some use their sobriety clock as a form of superiority but that's another issue)

So if you don't count your sobriety days then I applaud you and I see your point about how it's just like the fact that that you don't eat vindaloo curries anymore because you have an adverse reaction.

However, if you do have a sobriety clock it would beg the logical question of whether you have a clock for your vindaloo curries too? And if not why not?

Also, if you just don't drink anymore just like you don't eat vindaloo curries anymore, are you on a website committed to not eating vindaloo curries? if not, why not?

I mean if it's just as easy as that, why bother being on a sobriety website? Why feel the need?
Nope,

I'm not sure of the days, I know it's nearly 7 weeks though so it must be working.

I come on here because I like to socialise online with likeminded people like yourself,

My post wasn't aimed as a dig and I'm sorry if it came across that way. I tried everything target wise and I just drank once I hit the target.

My style is working for me, or it maybe that any style would've worked this time around for me because I honestly had enough.

I wish you well,

Bruno.
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Old 08-29-2016, 11:27 AM
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I see what both Bruno and you are saying, Nalanda.

I have fallen for the trap of reaching goals before and drinking to celebrate it, I have also fallen for the trap of not having goals at all and convincing myself there was no problem in drinking.

The solution for me is a combination of he two. My approach to not drinking is the same as Bruno's, I just don't do it anymore. Nobody to call, no protocol to avoid alcohol, the only thing I do is come here often to remind myself and also socialise with like minded people.

On the other hand I have set some ridiculously big targets in life. Things that will keep me busy for years to come, will take work every single day and just can't happen if I am drinking.

Guess my point is that there is only ever one approach that is correct for each person, but that is unique for everyone.

My advice for anyone writing a plan is to not only look at what others are doing and their suggestions, but to also take a deep look at yourself and understand both who you are and who you want to be.

It's awesome that you have a plan and you are structuring it Nalanda!

Best of luck for everyone!

P
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Old 08-29-2016, 11:39 AM
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Your plan is YOUR plan Nalanda and if this works for you brilliant .
The same goes for Bruno , Tom ,Dick or Harry ,whatever works for Them .

For me one bad trait I had was the need to be right no-mater what , my ego was too big and ruled me in all of my affairs . Now I practice acceptance with an open mind .
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Old 08-29-2016, 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Thomas59 View Post
Your plan is YOUR plan Nalanda and if this works for you brilliant .
The same goes for Bruno , Tom ,Dick or Harry ,whatever works for Them .

For me one bad trait I had was the need to be right no-mater what , my ego was too big and ruled me in all of my affairs . Now I practice acceptance with an open mind .
Did you mention your one bad trait because that's what you saw in this thread?

Are you cured of it? Because you may be projecting....

Where there's perception there's deception

I'm actually considering each person's comment with an open mind, believe it or not
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Old 08-29-2016, 12:00 PM
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Leave it in the bottle

Some interesting points, making me think....

I'm someone who usually sets goals. I thrive on them. It gives me a sense of urgency. I like to add a little something to each goal daily (usually have about 10)......

Like throwing a penny in the piggy bank each day, little by little, it starts to grow.....of course I believe what they say.....

....it's not so much the goals that are important, rather the person you become in the process of achieving them.

So, I've been putting "teetotal" on top of that list and it's been "almost" working. Obviously almost is not enough. But this year, I've not drank for at least 6 months of the year.

....two fsck ups/falls, both totaling around two months....

So this year, I've been sober a lot more than I have drunk. However, obviously I wish I could erase those two fvkc ups and make it a permanent full house...

So the question: Do I remove teetotal as a goal? (thus maybe removing any "pressure"?) Is it better to just make the decision and get on with the rest of your goals?

It could be a factor.....if I'm constantly seeing it as a goal......to which really there is no end line....I could be constantly "trying to get to sobriety". Hmm interesting...

Maybe my goal should be.....quit drinking. There, done. I quit. Goal achieved.

Oh there is one way for all.........don't put the liquid in your mouth
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Old 08-29-2016, 12:05 PM
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Try these free podcasts, they're awesome and will get you in the right mindset,

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/...=2&i=372222643
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Old 08-29-2016, 12:14 PM
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Maybe if you think of SOBRIETY as the goal (rather than "teetotal"--which implies a certain deprivation or sanctimoniousness about not drinking), you'd be on a better track. Sobriety is something you do FOR yourself--not something you are denying yourself.
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Old 08-29-2016, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Bruno1979 View Post
Nope,

I'm not sure of the days, I know it's nearly 7 weeks though so it must be working.

I come on here because I like to socialise online with likeminded people like yourself,

My post wasn't aimed as a dig and I'm sorry if it came across that way. I tried everything target wise and I just drank once I hit the target.

My style is working for me, or it maybe that any style would've worked this time around for me because I honestly had enough.

I wish you well,

Bruno.
No dig taken on my part, if you felt they were digs back at you, they were genuine questions...

Probing the mentality, see?

A few people spring to mind that I know, who after whatever bad experience with alcohol........quit. Just like that.

I don't know, maybe they weren't HUGE LOVERS of alcohol, so the desire to never have that experience again greatly outweighed any desire to consume alcohol again...

I remember someone saying to me "it's all in the head".

But yeah I suppose, they didn't make it a goal, nor did they frequent a sobriety website.....they just did it and got on with their lives
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Old 08-29-2016, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Nalanda View Post

Oh there is one way for all.........don't put the liquid in your mouth
Whatever your method I hope you succeed as per your last line, good luck and best wishes .
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Old 08-29-2016, 12:19 PM
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I think your goal and mindset it great Nalanda. I see it as no different from the AA mentality of "one day at a time" Just don't drink today. If you can extend that to a year and make that your goal, awesome. Then when you arrive at one year, you just repeat as they do in AA. Super inspiring post! Keep it up and keep us posted.
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Old 09-27-2016, 12:24 PM
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Cool

Originally Posted by Meraviglioso View Post
...the AA mentality of "one day at a time" Just don't drink today...
Some AAer's may have a mindset of not drinking one day at a time, however, the AA (the organization according to its founders) mentality of 'one day at a time' only refers to how one lives one's life----as per the line in the Serenity Prayer, "Living one day at a time..."

When it comes to quitting drinking the AA mentality is to quit drinking for good (like forever); it's in the book..........lolol

(o:
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Old 09-27-2016, 12:53 PM
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im not a big thinker or analyzer

more of a just do the next right thing and everything else seems to fall into place kind of guy
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