My Time Has Come
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 33
My Time Has Come
Hi everyone,
I've lurked around here for awhile now. I've debated for a long time where I really stand with my life. I'm the kind of drinker who "only drinks on weekends." Which is actually true. But, when I do...oh boy when I do...
I thought I could just cut down. I thought I could be one of those who only drinks once a weekend. Which, I did. But again, when I do, I've been blowing out more and more. Especially lately. Like I'm making up for not drinking the other days. I've been starting on Fridays at 5p, and going clear through to 2a or 3a Saturday morning. So that's a good 8-9 hours of vodka. And not only that, but I'm drinking at home by myself. Finishing a 750ml bottle by myself is fast becoming commonplace. I used to be a social drinker, but nowadays I justify staying home because it's "cheaper."
And I always, ALWAYS, wake up the next day regretting it. The thought that always enters my mind as I wake up craving a gallon of water and wanting to submerge my hands and fingers into a tub of lotion from all the dehydration is "...that was not needed." And I inevitably spend all day just waiting for bedtime to come around. I can never sleep past 8am. I wake up full of energy, but then crash after a couple hours. But by then it wouldn't be good to go back to sleep all day; then I'd just be up overnight.
So I totally **** away my weekend recovering from a single night drinking by myself. And to what end? What's the point?
Sometimes I can curb the cravings after a long week and enjoy my weekend, but the next weekend rolls around and it's always "Well, you didn't drink LAST weekend..."
The only way for me to get things in check is to put it out there that I am not a drinker anymore. I do not want this anymore. Until then, I will continue to miss out on a good portion of my life, and I want to be done with that.
So this is just me putting it out there. Acknowledging I have a problem, putting it in writing for me to come back to, and telling myself "You are no longer a drinker."
Thanks to anyone who made it to the end of this. It's a long post, and I do honestly feel I wrote it up for myself more than anything. I know I'll need to come back to this and take my own thoughts to heart, to remind my future self of what my ultimate goal is going forward.
I've lurked around here for awhile now. I've debated for a long time where I really stand with my life. I'm the kind of drinker who "only drinks on weekends." Which is actually true. But, when I do...oh boy when I do...
I thought I could just cut down. I thought I could be one of those who only drinks once a weekend. Which, I did. But again, when I do, I've been blowing out more and more. Especially lately. Like I'm making up for not drinking the other days. I've been starting on Fridays at 5p, and going clear through to 2a or 3a Saturday morning. So that's a good 8-9 hours of vodka. And not only that, but I'm drinking at home by myself. Finishing a 750ml bottle by myself is fast becoming commonplace. I used to be a social drinker, but nowadays I justify staying home because it's "cheaper."
And I always, ALWAYS, wake up the next day regretting it. The thought that always enters my mind as I wake up craving a gallon of water and wanting to submerge my hands and fingers into a tub of lotion from all the dehydration is "...that was not needed." And I inevitably spend all day just waiting for bedtime to come around. I can never sleep past 8am. I wake up full of energy, but then crash after a couple hours. But by then it wouldn't be good to go back to sleep all day; then I'd just be up overnight.
So I totally **** away my weekend recovering from a single night drinking by myself. And to what end? What's the point?
Sometimes I can curb the cravings after a long week and enjoy my weekend, but the next weekend rolls around and it's always "Well, you didn't drink LAST weekend..."
The only way for me to get things in check is to put it out there that I am not a drinker anymore. I do not want this anymore. Until then, I will continue to miss out on a good portion of my life, and I want to be done with that.
So this is just me putting it out there. Acknowledging I have a problem, putting it in writing for me to come back to, and telling myself "You are no longer a drinker."
Thanks to anyone who made it to the end of this. It's a long post, and I do honestly feel I wrote it up for myself more than anything. I know I'll need to come back to this and take my own thoughts to heart, to remind my future self of what my ultimate goal is going forward.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 87
You are fortunate that you are recognizing your alcohol abuse now. My story was similar to yours, but the over consumption eventually rolled into Sunday, and then Monday, and then...you get it.
Cut the head off the snake off now and move on with your life.
Cut the head off the snake off now and move on with your life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Originally Posted by Ironhorse1 
You are fortunate that you are recognizing your alcohol abuse now. My story was similar to yours, but the over consumption eventually rolled into Sunday, and then Monday, and then...you get it.
Cut the head off the snake off now and move on with your life.
Cut the head off the snake off now and move on with your life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 33
Thank you all for the welcome! I helps to know no one is in this alone. I realized I joined the forum just over a year ago this month. I guess it took me that long to realize where I really stand. Hopefully on my second anniversary of being part of the forum, I will be singing a different tune.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's great to meet you, Brandon. Not feeling alone any more is what helped me when I first came here - after a lifetime of drinking.
I started out as a weekend drinker too. I always drank more than I intended. If only I had done what you're doing - been honest with myself. Instead, I continued trying to manage it so I didn't have to quit all together. As a result, I found myself later in life drinking 24/7. I was completely dependent on it to get through the day. I never thought that could happen to me.
Happy to have you here - this is the best place for encouragement as we travel this road together. You can do it!
I started out as a weekend drinker too. I always drank more than I intended. If only I had done what you're doing - been honest with myself. Instead, I continued trying to manage it so I didn't have to quit all together. As a result, I found myself later in life drinking 24/7. I was completely dependent on it to get through the day. I never thought that could happen to me.
Happy to have you here - this is the best place for encouragement as we travel this road together. You can do it!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
I understand what you mean! I could be ok some work days but come the weekend it was hellz bellz!! Instead of resting up and spending time with family on the weekends I was drunk and hung over. This occurred every weekend for a very long time. What kind of life is that??? Not a good one at all!! I finally had to say enough is enough. It is possible! Stick around here for support.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Cypress
Posts: 56
I'm a binge drinker, too, or I was. It's hard to quit, but it's so nice to wake up in the morning and feel good! It's so amazing to wake up without a hangover. I think it's one of the biggest gifts of sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 425
From what you described, it sounds pretty terrible? It only makes sense to come up with a plan and stop now. Why put yourself through that mess again?
And as others' have said.... it can get A LOT worse... trust me. I wish wish wish wish I had stopped when I was weekend binge drinking....
And as others' have said.... it can get A LOT worse... trust me. I wish wish wish wish I had stopped when I was weekend binge drinking....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 33
Thank you all again so very much for the welcome! It's incredible how much MORE support I have gotten here than from when I announced this to my friends on Facebook. It's not even that a lot of them were against it, but more so that the silence of the overwhelming majority of them was pretty deafening.
It's all right, though. I understand a lot of them are still heavy drinkers, and my relationships with most of them are built upon nights out at the bar. I think a lot of them may not understand my commitment, and some doubt I will succeed (maybe even HOPE I won't???). I have the undying support of my family, fiancee, and closest friends, and that's the most important thing.
some of you mentioned a plan. I think I saw something about a link to an article about making a plan on another post? If someone has it handy, would you mind posting it here so I can check it out?
I have definitely been apprehensive this week. Thinking "Am I really ready for this? Quitting for GOOD? Like...never again? Can't you just make it special occasions only? Or just commit to the rest of the year? Surely you can't mean you'll NEVER drink again??"
I definitely think I need to evaluate this idea of making a plan...
It's all right, though. I understand a lot of them are still heavy drinkers, and my relationships with most of them are built upon nights out at the bar. I think a lot of them may not understand my commitment, and some doubt I will succeed (maybe even HOPE I won't???). I have the undying support of my family, fiancee, and closest friends, and that's the most important thing.
some of you mentioned a plan. I think I saw something about a link to an article about making a plan on another post? If someone has it handy, would you mind posting it here so I can check it out?
I have definitely been apprehensive this week. Thinking "Am I really ready for this? Quitting for GOOD? Like...never again? Can't you just make it special occasions only? Or just commit to the rest of the year? Surely you can't mean you'll NEVER drink again??"
I definitely think I need to evaluate this idea of making a plan...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Glen Allen, Va
Posts: 2,589
Originally Posted by BrandonInCO
I have definitely been apprehensive this week. Thinking "Am I really ready for this? Quitting for GOOD? Like...never again? Can't you just make it special occasions only? Or just commit to the rest of the year? Surely you can't mean you'll NEVER drink again??"
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,578
Originally Posted by BrandonInCO
I have definitely been apprehensive this week. Thinking "Am I really ready for this? Quitting for GOOD? Like...never again? Can't you just make it special occasions only? Or just commit to the rest of the year? Surely you can't mean you'll NEVER drink again??"
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