Just... sad
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 384
Just... sad
Went back to the house to drop off a form we need to sign. All the beers I left in the fridge were gone and some empties were lying around.
He always wanted to "save" empty bottles of booze that we drank, I never really understood why... those were gone and I hope in the trash where they belong. They used to stand on top of our cabinets.... I hated that our home was decorated with booze bottles, ugh!
He's throwing out all the things I was asking him to get rid of for years. He always wanted to hold on to things that just didn't make sense... same with the putting off of repairs... we lost the W&D sale because we exchanged them in lieu of the repairs the inspector said we needed, which were all things I was asking him to complete for years!
I'm so frustrated... I was never high maintenance and I didn't ask for much. I really didn't. I find it sad/ironic/sick that now that he has no choice he's doing all the things he refused to do when I asked. This was a common theme with us,.. I would ask him to do something and he'd refuse until something else came up or someone else said something, then suddenly it was "right away!". I'm seeing now that he was also very passive aggressive about it... saying that he would but then just never doing it...
He did not respect me. At all. Him walking out was seriously the best thing that could've happened to me because I wasn't going to do it myself, I didn't respect myself enough at the time. He walked out because I started putting up boundaries and limits and stopped doing things that I didn't want to do. Me gaining a sense of self is what destroyed us.
To exA- good riddance and good bye
He always wanted to "save" empty bottles of booze that we drank, I never really understood why... those were gone and I hope in the trash where they belong. They used to stand on top of our cabinets.... I hated that our home was decorated with booze bottles, ugh!
He's throwing out all the things I was asking him to get rid of for years. He always wanted to hold on to things that just didn't make sense... same with the putting off of repairs... we lost the W&D sale because we exchanged them in lieu of the repairs the inspector said we needed, which were all things I was asking him to complete for years!
I'm so frustrated... I was never high maintenance and I didn't ask for much. I really didn't. I find it sad/ironic/sick that now that he has no choice he's doing all the things he refused to do when I asked. This was a common theme with us,.. I would ask him to do something and he'd refuse until something else came up or someone else said something, then suddenly it was "right away!". I'm seeing now that he was also very passive aggressive about it... saying that he would but then just never doing it...
He did not respect me. At all. Him walking out was seriously the best thing that could've happened to me because I wasn't going to do it myself, I didn't respect myself enough at the time. He walked out because I started putting up boundaries and limits and stopped doing things that I didn't want to do. Me gaining a sense of self is what destroyed us.
To exA- good riddance and good bye
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 25
Your post really resonated with me - I'm going through those exact emotions. I think it is good and healthy that you are looking at the relationship through the perspective that you are - no more rose-colored glasses. Hopefully this means you are in the final stages of grieving what you lost and gaining hope for a new brighter future. One that demands respect.
I've been doing that lately too - While we had SO many good times, it doesn't change WHO he is as a person and how he treated me during the lows. We deserve so much better.
I've been doing that lately too - While we had SO many good times, it doesn't change WHO he is as a person and how he treated me during the lows. We deserve so much better.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
E,
So proud of your post!! You say that you are so sad, but your last sentence is " good riddance and good bye"!!
You have learned so much and you realize that you deserve so much more. Not sure why us codies feel we are deserving of nothing. We'll you don't anymore!!
Hugs my friend, stay busy and keep working your program!! You are going to be OK!!
So proud of your post!! You say that you are so sad, but your last sentence is " good riddance and good bye"!!
You have learned so much and you realize that you deserve so much more. Not sure why us codies feel we are deserving of nothing. We'll you don't anymore!!
Hugs my friend, stay busy and keep working your program!! You are going to be OK!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 612
I see this as sad for him, and sad for the old you that accepted the behavior. Happy for you as you are free from all of that, and he made it easy on you by leaving. My thoughts are with you as I'm sure it's very tough. Hugs and congrats on your new lease on life. Xo
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Midwest
Posts: 120
Yeah my AH does the same thing with beer containers and I don't get it. Like are you that lazy or you don't want to really face how much you actually drink? He hides the vodka bottles though. He doesn't realize I stopped looking for hidden alcohol years ago.
Same with repairs too! We have a current issue in the house that needs immediate attention, but he sat in the house and drank all day. I didn't say a word.
It's a sad situation, whether he left or you did. Good thing he made it easy for you by leaving though. All I can do is offer encouragement to you to keep on truckin at this point. I'm still trying to find my way as well.
Same with repairs too! We have a current issue in the house that needs immediate attention, but he sat in the house and drank all day. I didn't say a word.
It's a sad situation, whether he left or you did. Good thing he made it easy for you by leaving though. All I can do is offer encouragement to you to keep on truckin at this point. I'm still trying to find my way as well.
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