Making a Change hopefully will be positive

Old 08-26-2016, 01:56 PM
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Making a Change hopefully will be positive

I thought Id give an update quickly. I do recognize the authentic concern people have here for me and others. I know I may.have put a few people off not agreeing with my things BUT

I had another therapy session today. I'm going to really try to work through some things.

Made a decision that it would be a good idea for me to take a step back from physical relations with my husband while I do some of this work. I have been making a mistake and the emotional connection is.not fully intact and Ive been ignoring this.

I talked to him last night and explained. I guess it was my version of telling him no and see what happens.
He was calm and receptive. He feels we need that to keep us close. But I told him I really felt the issue is that emotionally I'm not healthy and giving myself to.him in a safe, trusting way. I want him but want to not hold back. He was a little frustrated but didnt lose his cool. He had previously offered to move into a different bedroom and he did seem shocked I was now saying I think we should do this. Except I said I would be the one to move rooms for a couple of different reasons.. No I didnt move out last night but am doing I tonight. I asked him to understand and lets step back and nurture just the emotional side. Trust.

He has his first therapy session next week. He handled it good so far. I hope the weekend goes.ok. you know how sometimes you can toss something around in your mind and become angry, hurt, confused.

He asked how long. And many questions. I dont think it was meant to rush me.

its big change for me. He clearly stated he was doing better and felt more in control.said he was not going to use drugs again. Acknowledged it was a mistake and he has poor control once he starts.

I just thought id share what I decided. Its going to be hard . I was apart from him while in rehab and did fine. But now he will be here and it will be tougher. Will test my resolve at healing myself and being gentle and patient with myself .

Have a nice weekend. Thank you all for your views and the genuine concern for my physical and emotional safety.
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:03 PM
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Good luck, please continue to be careful. From what you've described about his demanding sex when he was at rehab, etc., I'm concerned. Please don't hesitate to call for help if you need it.
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:03 PM
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((hugs))

Sending prayers your way.
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:06 PM
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
Good luck, please continue to be careful. From what you've described about his demanding sex when he was at rehab, etc., I'm concerned. Please don't hesitate to call for help if you need it.
Thank you Lexie. And I apologize to you for some of my earlier attitude. I'm very emotional lately.
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:11 PM
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I think this is a great plan for you to get some clarity! I hope your husband will take this time to work on himself as well.

And to echo Lexie....I share the same concern. Please please call for help if you need it! You have the right to do this whether you are married or not. You have the right to do this whether you live together or not. You have the right to NOT know how long this will be for.

(((HUGS))) I'm so glad you have a therapist you are comfortable with, and please keep us posted. I can't wait to see see the changes in your life from taking these steps!
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Old 08-26-2016, 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted by aliciagr View Post
Thank you Lexie. And I apologize to you for some of my earlier attitude. I'm very emotional lately.
Not a problem. I've been there (emotional mess, that is). Trust me, I didn't take anything personally.
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Old 08-26-2016, 03:31 PM
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Alicia, I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself. Even though I don't post on your thread as frequently as others, I think about you every single day.
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Old 08-27-2016, 04:01 AM
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Glad to hear Alicia I think you are doing the right thing . Lots of ((((hugs))))
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Old 08-27-2016, 05:40 AM
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Sending hugs my friend. Baby steps is the healthy way of detaching from our addicts.

You can do this, hell you can do anything u put your mind too!!!
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