Familyfirst6

I'm on day 5 and life is good. Still trouble sleeping but that's okay. Although I'm still having reoccuring thoughts and urges that I'm trying to shake. But as the days go on they keep coming on stronger. Such as, "It's so hot outside. Maybe just ONE beer to take the edge off??" Or, "Maybe if I reach 20 days I can go ahead and have a few? Just maybe 4 drinks??" This puts me in a bad mood when it happens and i become very quiet because I WANT to be done drinking. But the urges...and ooohhh the excuses in my head ....they are relentless.

U75

No.

August252015

Hi there-
What is your plan to stop drinking? Have you considered AA? I am one of those 100% AA-ers you will find around here. At the beginning, I was often dragged to meetings (thanks, Dad) and it has saved my life.

You will learn a lot of things from the program you choose- playing the tape through is one you will hear around here a lot. Think about what will happen and what you will feel like if you drink. Happy you did? Sad, sick, mad at yourself? Did you hurt anyone, do you remember the night before? Sucks. You don't have to do that, you can wake up sober, and remembering the perfectly normal night you had before.

In the beginning, too, distraction is your friend- binge watch Netflix, decide to do the laundry then after that to make dinner, then..you get the idea. Do you have anyone who can be around you so you won't drink? If there is no alcohol in the house, don't leave it. Order food if there's nothing in the fridge, don't come up with an excuse to "run an errand" then go by the store for alcohol. Whatever it takes to get you through the urges and AV banging in your ear. That will lessen as you get and stay sober, and you can learn tools to deal with all of this.

Please look around here at the programs and plan ideas Dee and others put up - I would suggest going to an AA meeting and getting started with support and the beginnings of a plan to bolster "just don't drink."

You can do it.

Opivotal

Those AV voices were relentless my first week. All lies.. treat those thoughts as such. It does get better the longer your sober.

When the thoughts overwhelmed me it was time to distract myself. Exercise, hobbies, chores anything to keep my mind off of drinking.

Congratulations on 5 days!

Fusion

No: do something more beneficial to your life instead!

Zanna

I think, by the time it gets to us all seeking out an alcohol support forum, then the answer is NO!

cwood3

I agree with August. Ultimately, it's about what you want the outcome to be, because you can make it be what you want it to be. But it's pretty cut and dried. If you are an alcoholic, like me, you can either drink, or never drink again. No grey area. It's hard and requires a commitment, a real commitment. But it's darn sure doable and this is a place to start. Nothing beats face-to-face for me (i.e. AA)

Coldfusion

Remember your username. Read around the "Friends and Family of Alcoholics" forums here if you forget what you put your family through when you drink.

gettingsmarter

No you can't. If you drink you are going to want to quit again and it might be even harder next time.

August252015

^^^Important point! We never, EVER know when the next time will be the last time. You could hurt someone, kill yourself (plenty of people get alcohol poisoning even when they didn't think they "drank that much" and such things- your body absolutely CAN fight you enough to kill you), all kinds of horrible things. The sooner you quit, the better. In every way possible.

FarToGo

I remember a bargaining phase too, very hard. What helped me was mentally stamping on it, and be harder than the bargaining voice. Mine was a bit of a mantra, "I will NEVER drink again, my life is going to get better"
This phase will pass.
xx

Tonymblue

Remember your AV is your toughest adversary. Maybe Google urge surfing. It may help.

Familyfirst6

I Googled Urge Surfing Urge surfing is genius. Thank you so much for the advice.

Familyfirst6

I am alone alot and sometimes have no one to talk to, which is why I turn to you all to tell me no. I understand the obvious answer is no, but it helps so much to hear/read it. Thank you

Hevyn

I'm glad you posed the question, Familyfirst. Unfortunately I gave in to my AV dozens of times over the years. It always led to danger & recklessness. Bad things had to happen for me to be truly convinced I couldn't touch a drop. I was so relieved to have SR to lean on in the early days of recovery. We're never alone.

Familyfirst6

Thank you. And you are so right. I couldn't have said it better myself...they indeed are lies. So much so I get teared up just thinking about it.

least

It gets better the longer you're sober.

Delilah1

Stick with it, the first few days are the hardest. I promise you it is worth it!

Soberwolf

Berrybean

Once you recognise your AV as distinct from your rational thoughts it will get easier to ignore it. I learned that I could not shut off my AV, but if I didn't feed it (by drinking), looked after myself so that those HALT triggers didn't come up or stay potent for too long (Hunger-Anger-Lonely-Tired ), and just learned to say a short, swift, uncompromising "NO" to its lies, then that nasty little inner-city that is my AV hot quieter and less powerful as time progressed.

How to recognise your AV? Well. It'll be the voice that says drinking is a good idea or justified for what ever reason. They can also get insulting and abusive as they know that self-pity and anger and hopelessness are it's friends and will weaken our resolve.

If you're ever unsure, run it past someone on here and they'll help you figure out if it's a rational thought or your AV. When you're being given bombarded with those thoughts in early days it gets strangely confusing.