MrsB1963

Hiya, people , I am a new comer to this site, and am looking for as much advice as possible please. Thing is...don't really know where to go next, with what's going on at home, anyhow basically my husband has been drinking heavily for about 3 years, he's always been a drinker but mainly red wine, a while he did say he drinks because he says he doesn't want to feel like **** everyday he wakes up, there's nothing wronge with him Physically doctors have proved that, it's an anxiety thing. But he's drinking about a bottle of whisky a day I'd say. I'm not a drinker myself, but when I go to work at the weekends when I do lates, he's topping the bottle up to where it was when I left to try and make me think he's sober we have stopping to talking to each other a few weeks ago, and only talk if we have to. Apparently he's always been a drinker, which makes me think now, maybe that's why his last 3 marriages ended. Thank you all for taking the time to read this and I'll look forward to your responses

rae145

Hi and welcome Mrs B,
I'm sorry you're going through this mess, but you're not alone on this board.
Was the doctor okay with your husband drinking to alleviate his anxiety? Maybe your husband was storying? Lol aww the lies they tell!
Keep reading you'll gain a lot of insight here

letitend

I have to say that is most likely the reason.

Welcome. There are so many people in a better spot than I am concerning an active A. My first inclination is to ask if you have children with the guy?

If the answer is NO, I personally would get out like yesterday. Based on my experiences of actually having a child with an active A, I would never, ever choose to have another kid with someone who is not responsible and who drinks actively.

It is painful to wish and hope someone would just conform and be who you want them to be. But, alas, people are who they are. The only person I have control over is ME.

LexieCat

I'd say there IS something physically wrong with him--he's an alcoholic. Even if his test results are normal, he's still physically, emotionally, and spiritually ABNORMAL. Alcoholics do not process alcohol the same way other people do, and there is a mental compulsion to drink if they are not drinking, and an inability or extreme difficulty stopping once they do.

You're more than likely correct about what contributed to the end of his previous marriages. I'd suggest finding an Al-Anon meeting for yourself (it's for family/friends affected by someone else's drinking). You will find a lot of support there--people who really GET what you're dealing with--and learn ways to get your head clear so you can make good choices about what you want for yourself and your future.

Bekindalways

Welcome Mrs B. I'm glad you found us and at the same time sorry to hear about what you are going through.

I second what Lexie said about finding an Alanon group. These groups are composed of folks like us that are in or have been in relationships with alcoholics.

You might also look for the book Codependent No More. Many here have found it helpful.

Let us know how things are going.