Something I am doing to help my situation is...

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Old 08-22-2016, 02:14 PM
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Something I am doing to help my situation is...

...talking to my boss TODAY about assuming a full time position here at my place of employment. I need to work on becoming somewhat financially independent. I plan on taking one task a day/week and getting something productive done towards my end goal of serving Divorce ppwk.

I might, nope- scratch that, I WILL also talk to boss about refreshing my paperwork and setting up a game plan so that HE can move out this time. The kids and I are staying put.
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Old 08-22-2016, 02:32 PM
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. . . getting serious about regular exercise and meditation as these are a few of the things that really help with my depression.

Good on ya Thousandwords!!!
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Old 08-22-2016, 02:34 PM
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Excellent plan! Good luck!
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Old 08-22-2016, 05:32 PM
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My recollection, words, is that you did talk with an attorney way back when. Your husband is employed. He would be responsible for child support and, most probably, some spousal support while you are improving your situation.

I think it's GREAT that you are working on improving your status at work, but are you sure this isn't just another way of putting off what you know you need to do? IOW, is it really NECESSARY before you file for divorce? How did things work when you were separated? You managed OK then, right?
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Old 08-22-2016, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
My recollection, words, is that you did talk with an attorney way back when. Your husband is employed. He would be responsible for child support and, most probably, some spousal support while you are improving your situation.

I think it's GREAT that you are working on improving your status at work, but are you sure this isn't just another way of putting off what you know you need to do? IOW, is it really NECESSARY before you file for divorce? How did things work when you were separated? You managed OK then, right?
Lexie,

I work for an attorney and he is familiar with my situation. But as far as he knows we are reconciled and have not discussed it since. And you are probably correct that I do not need to do this right now- I would just feel much better taking this leap a little more prepared.

The legal separation was difficult and I was without child support for almost two months at first and was also on state assistance which was not terrible but I'd like to do this with a better Foundation this time. I do not make very much money on my salary and have zero Savings of my own. I just feel the more I do the more confident and committed I will be at this decision.
(sorry about errors, using talk to text.)
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Old 08-22-2016, 06:35 PM
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OK, but do yourself a favor and let your lawyer boss know what's going on. It might even help you get that change of position a bit sooner if he knows what your plan is.

The state has ways of making sure he meets his obligations. Your children have a RIGHT to their father's support--it isn't something you are doing out of spite or because you don't feel obligated to make your own contributions.

Just bear in mind, there is no such thing as a divorce that doesn't impact finances. It WILL happen, and it will impact both of you--don't for a second let that "fair" argument get under your skin. If it weren't for his actions--including abusive behavior toward you and your children--none of this would be necessary. It's utterly "fair" for him to shoulder his part of the burden.
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Old 08-23-2016, 10:40 AM
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
OK, but do yourself a favor and let your lawyer boss know what's going on. It might even help you get that change of position a bit sooner if he knows what your plan is.

The state has ways of making sure he meets his obligations. Your children have a RIGHT to their father's support--it isn't something you are doing out of spite or because you don't feel obligated to make your own contributions.

Just bear in mind, there is no such thing as a divorce that doesn't impact finances. It WILL happen, and it will impact both of you--don't for a second let that "fair" argument get under your skin. If it weren't for his actions--including abusive behavior toward you and your children--none of this would be necessary. It's utterly "fair" for him to shoulder his part of the burden.
Thank you Lexie. I appreciate your legal standpoint as well as your insight on these situations. I plan on not being so "nice" this time. Nice has gotten me in this situation. Not good.
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