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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 4
New Here
Hi everyone -
I'm new to being an actual, registered member, but I have lurked and read posts for quite a while.
One of the things I began doing about two years ago was to keep a journal.
I don't know why I had never done this before, but recently I went back and re-read the whole thing... I feel like I could have just read one week because its ALWAYS the same (other than big life events of course).
It is a cycle where I start drinking on Wednesday or Thursday because, you know, that's so close to the weekend why wait? I then proceed to have between 6 -12 beers per day the next few days (through Sunday 90% of the time - rarely I'll take a Sunday off).
Then the dreaded "Monday" - I feel awful, both mentally and physically. I'm angry with myself and disappointed. Those feelings are enough to sustain me and keep me from drinking for just about two or three days and then they have faded enough so that the desire to have a drink wins out and I'm back into the cycle.
I'm 34 and have been at this for years. I know it doesn't "get better" over time. I've seen a couple new member posts that said something that resonated: it's the fear and anxiety of trying to imagine NOT drinking for all those times that are clearly (in my head) perfectly appropriate times to drink.
But that isn't right... I should not look forward to football on Sunday primarily because it's a chance to drink, I should not imagine drinking as being the primary reason to do, well, just about anything and everything. But I do =(
Thanks for reading!
I'm new to being an actual, registered member, but I have lurked and read posts for quite a while.
One of the things I began doing about two years ago was to keep a journal.
I don't know why I had never done this before, but recently I went back and re-read the whole thing... I feel like I could have just read one week because its ALWAYS the same (other than big life events of course).
It is a cycle where I start drinking on Wednesday or Thursday because, you know, that's so close to the weekend why wait? I then proceed to have between 6 -12 beers per day the next few days (through Sunday 90% of the time - rarely I'll take a Sunday off).
Then the dreaded "Monday" - I feel awful, both mentally and physically. I'm angry with myself and disappointed. Those feelings are enough to sustain me and keep me from drinking for just about two or three days and then they have faded enough so that the desire to have a drink wins out and I'm back into the cycle.
I'm 34 and have been at this for years. I know it doesn't "get better" over time. I've seen a couple new member posts that said something that resonated: it's the fear and anxiety of trying to imagine NOT drinking for all those times that are clearly (in my head) perfectly appropriate times to drink.
But that isn't right... I should not look forward to football on Sunday primarily because it's a chance to drink, I should not imagine drinking as being the primary reason to do, well, just about anything and everything. But I do =(
Thanks for reading!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 20
Welcome Salt! 😊
I'm fairly new here as well.
I would find every excuse under the sun to justify why it was ok to drink for a particular day and then continue to drink for the next and the next...by Monday when it was time for work I would feel completely horrible...I would swear to myself I'll never do that again...after a couple days I would forget the awful feeling I had after I stopped drinking and I would find myself back at the LQ store buying more...endless cycle.
Glad you decided to post. This site has def helped me turn my life around. Stay close...best wishes!
I'm fairly new here as well.
I would find every excuse under the sun to justify why it was ok to drink for a particular day and then continue to drink for the next and the next...by Monday when it was time for work I would feel completely horrible...I would swear to myself I'll never do that again...after a couple days I would forget the awful feeling I had after I stopped drinking and I would find myself back at the LQ store buying more...endless cycle.
Glad you decided to post. This site has def helped me turn my life around. Stay close...best wishes!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 337
Welcome, Salt!! Keep reading, keep posting and don't drink--one day at a time. I'm not drinking today. I'll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. So far I've put together 15 days, one day at a time...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by Elicia08 
Welcome, Salt!! Keep reading, keep posting and don't drink--one day at a time. I'm not drinking today. I'll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. So far I've put together 15 days, one day at a time...
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,902
Welcome to SR!
At 34, it's time to stop this behavior while you can. If not, before you know it your 5 days a week of drinking will turn into 7. And then in my experience, the next step after that is to have a drink in the morning to help with the hangover. And it get's worse after that . . .
At 34, it's time to stop this behavior while you can. If not, before you know it your 5 days a week of drinking will turn into 7. And then in my experience, the next step after that is to have a drink in the morning to help with the hangover. And it get's worse after that . . .
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 148
Welcome.
I too have noticed it's always the same pattern over and over. Nothing advances in those 7 days except the number of drinks at each binge.
A two day break would feel like a lifetime and a perfect detox to let myself drink again.
I too have noticed it's always the same pattern over and over. Nothing advances in those 7 days except the number of drinks at each binge.
A two day break would feel like a lifetime and a perfect detox to let myself drink again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 14
Welcome Salt, I identify strongly with the cycle you describe.
I'm on day one so I can't provide you with a lot of guidance but I can provide you with some encouragement.
You are correct it doesn't get better with time. I wish I had taken the steps to correct my behavior at 34 but at 45 I have the hindsight to see how much better life could be had I maintained sobriety.
I'm on day one so I can't provide you with a lot of guidance but I can provide you with some encouragement.
You are correct it doesn't get better with time. I wish I had taken the steps to correct my behavior at 34 but at 45 I have the hindsight to see how much better life could be had I maintained sobriety.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
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