A big moment today...
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Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 648
A big moment today...
Hi everyone,
So I went to yoga therapy today... It is therapy with meditation and yoga and it is one on one. I love my therapist and I have seen her about once every 2 weeks for the past year or so. Today we met in a park...It is a very huge and beautiful park. We sat under a tree and began to talk. She is very aware of my situation with my exAB as well as my history etc. We were sitting there no longer then 10 minutes talking about the week when a man walks up to us. He was 50-60 years old and obviously drunk. He also seemed homeless and was holding a big red plastic cup and drinking out of it. He was really nice but intoxicated. We were polite to him and he talked t us for 2 or 3 minutes and then went on his way.... After he walked away I sat there for a minute in silence and my therapist looked at me and I said that is my exAB in 20 years if he doesn't end up hitting rock bottom and getting sober... We continued to talk and towards the end of our meeting I was just talking a bunch (Like I usually do) and in the middle of me talking I just stopped and looked at her and said "I guess all of this doesn't even matter.... because he is an active alcoholic...end scene" She smiled at me and said "Wow what growth"... And it hit me like a ton of bricks and things simplified in that moment.... It doesn't matter how much he has hurt me, what things he has done, what things he has said or what attempts he has tried to make things better.... As long as he is an active alcoholic none of it matters.... He might as well be the older very drunk man who I saw today in the park who was very intoxicated.... I wouldn't try to reason with that guy because he was clearly drunk and clearly mumbling and I had no ties or attachment to him. It made me realize that I need to start seeing my exAB that way... It was a big aha moment for me
So I went to yoga therapy today... It is therapy with meditation and yoga and it is one on one. I love my therapist and I have seen her about once every 2 weeks for the past year or so. Today we met in a park...It is a very huge and beautiful park. We sat under a tree and began to talk. She is very aware of my situation with my exAB as well as my history etc. We were sitting there no longer then 10 minutes talking about the week when a man walks up to us. He was 50-60 years old and obviously drunk. He also seemed homeless and was holding a big red plastic cup and drinking out of it. He was really nice but intoxicated. We were polite to him and he talked t us for 2 or 3 minutes and then went on his way.... After he walked away I sat there for a minute in silence and my therapist looked at me and I said that is my exAB in 20 years if he doesn't end up hitting rock bottom and getting sober... We continued to talk and towards the end of our meeting I was just talking a bunch (Like I usually do) and in the middle of me talking I just stopped and looked at her and said "I guess all of this doesn't even matter.... because he is an active alcoholic...end scene" She smiled at me and said "Wow what growth"... And it hit me like a ton of bricks and things simplified in that moment.... It doesn't matter how much he has hurt me, what things he has done, what things he has said or what attempts he has tried to make things better.... As long as he is an active alcoholic none of it matters.... He might as well be the older very drunk man who I saw today in the park who was very intoxicated.... I wouldn't try to reason with that guy because he was clearly drunk and clearly mumbling and I had no ties or attachment to him. It made me realize that I need to start seeing my exAB that way... It was a big aha moment for me
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,998
Wow LK! What a moment!
I think of drunks and addicts like natural disasters. It is nothing personal; it is just a tsunami/wildfire/earthquake/flood/tornado and you will die if you don't take care of yourself.
I think of drunks and addicts like natural disasters. It is nothing personal; it is just a tsunami/wildfire/earthquake/flood/tornado and you will die if you don't take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 773
Great moment indeed!
I keep having reccurring dream where I see my XAH standing at the traffic light, homeless, begging for money, where my son call out - look, it's Papa!
So sad. Does not make one yota of difference that he is one of the most intelligent men I have ever known, funny, witty, has a PHD. It is potential vs. what's actually happening.
I wish him well, but I am fully aware and chose to get out of the way of the "natural disaster".
Good luck in your recovery
I keep having reccurring dream where I see my XAH standing at the traffic light, homeless, begging for money, where my son call out - look, it's Papa!
So sad. Does not make one yota of difference that he is one of the most intelligent men I have ever known, funny, witty, has a PHD. It is potential vs. what's actually happening.
I wish him well, but I am fully aware and chose to get out of the way of the "natural disaster".
Good luck in your recovery
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