Day 3: I don't know if I can do this...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 76
Day 3: I don't know if I can do this...
It's not really a physical thing -- although I really don't sleep great.
It's emotional. I'm weepy and sad all the time... and then suddenly I'm so angry I want to break something.
I just feel like no one in my immediate circle understands this: For them, this is simply a defect in my character -- a sign of weakness. I guess it IS a character flaw, but I don't want to feel pitied.
I don't think I'll ever be treated normally again, and that hurts. I dont understand how I got here.
I sound so self-centered, but really I just want this to be over. I want a little of my self-respect back. I don't know if that's possible.
This post doesn't even make sense.
I feel so low.
It's emotional. I'm weepy and sad all the time... and then suddenly I'm so angry I want to break something.
I just feel like no one in my immediate circle understands this: For them, this is simply a defect in my character -- a sign of weakness. I guess it IS a character flaw, but I don't want to feel pitied.
I don't think I'll ever be treated normally again, and that hurts. I dont understand how I got here.
I sound so self-centered, but really I just want this to be over. I want a little of my self-respect back. I don't know if that's possible.
This post doesn't even make sense.
I feel so low.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hang in there kgr. If you let it go a few more days you will start feeling better and all the things you talked about will start to happen, slowly but they will start.
First week is an emotional roller coaster indeed, until your body properly clears up your mind will find it hard to feel good, but drinking will only get you back to square one instead.
We believe in you here and understand what you are going through. Once you start feeling better about yourself I promise you those around you will start doing the same.
If you think the problem can be seen as a weakeness on your character, then solving it by definition will have to be seen as a strength. You are doing that already.
All the best.
P
First week is an emotional roller coaster indeed, until your body properly clears up your mind will find it hard to feel good, but drinking will only get you back to square one instead.
We believe in you here and understand what you are going through. Once you start feeling better about yourself I promise you those around you will start doing the same.
If you think the problem can be seen as a weakeness on your character, then solving it by definition will have to be seen as a strength. You are doing that already.
All the best.
P
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 322
kgr, please, don't misunderstand. It's NOT a character flaw. Character is something you possess that is way deeper. Alcoholism, from what I'm beginning to understand, is a disease that manifests itself in certain behaviors. That is not character.
Ease up on yourself. I know what you mean though.
Ease up on yourself. I know what you mean though.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Actually your post makes a lot of sense, the first week or so is very hard. But it is Do-able and the further in time that you are away from this first part the better and easier it will become. Hang in there, time takes the time it takes.
As silly as it may sound, two words can help more than you might think "ice" and "cream", if possible make it part of your plan for today, a little special respite for tonight( or even right now
)
As silly as it may sound, two words can help more than you might think "ice" and "cream", if possible make it part of your plan for today, a little special respite for tonight( or even right now
)
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Kgr,
You are feeling the brain damage booze causes.
Physically you seem great, mentally your brain is reeling at the world through sober vision.
Drinking again for you will make it start over except only worse.
You have to remember how you feel now, because it gets better everyday...but the av is always there...forever.
15 months clean and my av beckons me like a crybaby sometimes.
You have to change your life up. AA meetings, volunteer work, second or third job, bridge club at the YMCA....something new....a new path.
Like Dee says...a recovery plan.....beginning when you wake up.....until you go to bed.
Today, i sat in the backyard for a couple of hours, had coffee as the sun rose.
Change it up.
You are feeling the brain damage booze causes.
Physically you seem great, mentally your brain is reeling at the world through sober vision.
Drinking again for you will make it start over except only worse.
You have to remember how you feel now, because it gets better everyday...but the av is always there...forever.
15 months clean and my av beckons me like a crybaby sometimes.
You have to change your life up. AA meetings, volunteer work, second or third job, bridge club at the YMCA....something new....a new path.
Like Dee says...a recovery plan.....beginning when you wake up.....until you go to bed.
Today, i sat in the backyard for a couple of hours, had coffee as the sun rose.
Change it up.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Feeling like you do is perfectly normal and is something I found I just had to suffer through for a while. It really does ease up and get better with time. It eventually passed and I do have my self-respect and more back today. Having support really helps.
When my cravings got really bad, I did something that made me feel better. Ice cream worked for me too, even though I normally don't eat sugar or processed foods. I indulged whenever I needed to for the first 2 or 3 months until the cravings were more manageable. It doesn't have to be ice cream, just something that feels indulgent.
Alcoholism is not a character flaw or a moral failing. I try to focus on and spend more time with people who do understand and pay less attention to those that don't, because IMO, they don't know what they are talking about and can't understand.
AA was great for that. They get it.
When my cravings got really bad, I did something that made me feel better. Ice cream worked for me too, even though I normally don't eat sugar or processed foods. I indulged whenever I needed to for the first 2 or 3 months until the cravings were more manageable. It doesn't have to be ice cream, just something that feels indulgent.
Alcoholism is not a character flaw or a moral failing. I try to focus on and spend more time with people who do understand and pay less attention to those that don't, because IMO, they don't know what they are talking about and can't understand.
AA was great for that. They get it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: co
Posts: 329
Khr,,
Try some breathing sets, you can do this. You would be surprised how many amazing people that you meet in the world that had to go through what your going through. I'm in the same boat with people understanding, the only person that needs to know what you need to do is you. It may seem lonely, but we all understand and are here for you..
Try some breathing sets, you can do this. You would be surprised how many amazing people that you meet in the world that had to go through what your going through. I'm in the same boat with people understanding, the only person that needs to know what you need to do is you. It may seem lonely, but we all understand and are here for you..
Catch 22
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 327
It is a tough path for all of us. I am on day 98 and it is still a battle. However, even through the pain I know this is probably the best thing that I have ever done for myself. And the fact that it is so hard is an indication of how we rebuild our character.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Good morning Kgr,
It is wonderful to see you here and posting. Lots of great advice above. Those first few days/weeks are tough, but I promise it does get better. Mr. PL stated the process of starting to feel better beautifully above.
I'm not sure what supports you have in place, a great place to post would be in the August class as well as this forum. You will be surrounded by others who have made the decision to stop drinking this month.
You can do this, and I promise you sobriety is worth it.
It is wonderful to see you here and posting. Lots of great advice above. Those first few days/weeks are tough, but I promise it does get better. Mr. PL stated the process of starting to feel better beautifully above.
I'm not sure what supports you have in place, a great place to post would be in the August class as well as this forum. You will be surrounded by others who have made the decision to stop drinking this month.
You can do this, and I promise you sobriety is worth it.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Kgr out of all the alcoholics here in recovery why do you think we say were so much better off in recovery ?
We are not all the same we are all different in many ways but we all share one thing in common ... stick with it & us
We are not all the same we are all different in many ways but we all share one thing in common ... stick with it & us
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 147
I felt the worst on days 3 & 4. Hang in there, day 5 it will lighten up. I'm on day 7 now and just woke up feeling rested. I've also been on a high quality multi vitamin and I take an extra b-complex because alcohol depletes vitamin b from the system, that really helps with cravings. Good luck, stay strong!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by dwtbd 
Actually your post makes a lot of sense, the first week or so is very hard. But it is Do-able and the further in time that you are away from this first part the better and easier it will become. Hang in there, time takes the time it takes.
As silly as it may sound, two words can help more than you might think "ice" and "cream", if possible make it part of your plan for today, a little special respite for tonight( or even right now )
As silly as it may sound, two words can help more than you might think "ice" and "cream", if possible make it part of your plan for today, a little special respite for tonight( or even right now
)
Kgr - It will get better if you don't drink. Right now, do whatever it takes to get through the day - naps helped me a LOT, eating as I could (I was deathly ill when I quit), watching guilty pleasures on DVR or Netflix or whatever....just hang on. Hang on, and keep going. You can get to a new side of life.
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